It’s one of the last remaining legacies of Hun culture, an innocuous ‘xx’ at the end of a work email meant only to signify joy, comradery or perhaps soften the blow of an otherwise commanding email. And now, it’s under fire, or rather, we’re all talking about how appropriate it is after a misconstrued ‘XX’ in an email led to a major employment tribunal.
Allow us to explain because it’s all quite complex. IT worker Karina Gasparova lost a lawsuit against her boss, Aleksander Goulandris, after claiming that his use of ‘XX’ in emails was meant to represent kisses, which she interpreted as sexual harassment. An employment panel heard that they were used, in fact, to indicate details he required her to fill in when asking for information on a project – also using ‘YY’ and ‘????’ in other areas, written in red.
There were many other claims that have since been thrown out, with the judge-led panel ruling that Gasparova had a ‘skewed perception of everyday events’ and misinterpreted ‘innocuous’ interactions. One, for example, involved Gasparova interpreting Goulandris using ‘AJG’ in file names as ‘A Jumbo Genital’, when in fact those letters are Goulandris’ initials.
Now, the details of the case itself are extremely strange and, frankly, it's uncomfortable to harp on given sexual harassment at work is a very real issue not to be undermined by this one seemingly ludicrous case. But it’s got us talking about kisses on emails nonetheless – with some wondering, if a person uses ‘xx’ in an email and actually means it to be interpreted as a kiss, is that wrong?
It's certainly common practice in specific industries, perhaps depending on the age, gender, and spirit of individual teams. ‘My mostly female team often use kisses in emails to each other, even on Teams when we send messages they’re often accompanied by a “x”,’ says PR account executive Becky, 29 from London. ‘It’s usually in circumstances where the message could be perceived as blunt or you’re sending an asset without any other information. I’ve always found it quite nice; it makes the working environment feel less corporate.’
Sending kisses on an email makes the work environment feel less corporate.
For others, context is important. ‘I’m quite specific about who I send kisses to,’ says freelance journalist Hannah, 28 from Manchester. ‘I wouldn’t send one in my first email to someone I don’t know, and I typically reserve them for women I have a friendly relationship with already. If someone starts sending ‘xx’ in a chain, I’ll return as it feels impolite otherwise, but it really depends on who I’m talking to whether sending kisses is appropriate.’
Of course, from a HR perspective, kisses on emails aren’t considered professional. ‘I don’t think it’s appropriate at any time to send kisses to your colleagues on emails as it can be misconstrued and I think many people would find it uncomfortable or inappropriate, especially if it’s from your superior, it could come across as patronising, unprofessional and inappropriate,’ says Lucinda Aspinall, expert colleague relations advisor. ‘A lot of managers do struggle with blurring lines between being a manager and a friend, which does add an element of difficulty when they need to go through a disciplinary or performance management with that colleague and I think using things like “xx” on emails does blur those lines.’
But doesn’t that all just sound so… boring? In a corporate environment, it makes perfect sense not to send kisses on emails, but in creative industries where comradery and collaboration is the key to greatness, forging familiar and fun relationships with people is important. It may once have been reserved for text messages, but it’s become something so unique to British culture that inspires closeness and invokes nostalgia in a jovial way.
That being said, context is surely key. Would I send a kiss on an email to a straight male colleague? No, nor would I expect them to send me one – so maybe this is a privilege reserved for female-dominated workplaces. And surely that’s okay, because one of the most heartening parts of being a woman is that we can forge easy, familiar relationships with each other that don’t blur lines of sexual harassment.
It is something specific about being a woman, too. Think of the comradery you feel when you make knowing eye-contact out in public or those deep, wonderful conversations you can have with someone you just met in the pub. We often feel a sense of duty to each other – especially at work – and we can relate on a deeper level, so sending kisses on emails feels as natural as moving out of the way for someone when they’re trying to look in the same mirror as you in the bathroom (ever used gender neutral toilets? Men don’t do that!)
There’s perhaps more to the fact it’s a predominantly female practice to send kisses in emails, too – and it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Given the pressure on women not to appear too demanding or rude, lest we be labelled bitches for our entire career, there’s undoubtedly some internalised misogyny at work here. And yet, I still want to send my kisses on emails – because it’s just such an endearing quality of working with predominantly women. When you know no one’s taking it the wrong way, why not embrace the love?