Would you allow your friend to get engaged at your wedding? For many, that is a straight no, but this is another scenario that is dividing Reddit.
The user asked the forum, 'Am I the asshole for rejecting friend’s boyfriend’s request to propose at my wedding? 'The user explainer that she got married to her husband last month and had a small, wonderful wedding. However, 2 weeks before the wedding, her best friend/maid of honour’s boyfriend asked if it would be okay to propose during my reception.
She wrote, ‘I first told him how thrilled I was that he was proposing to my friend and how excited she would be, but I really wasn’t comfortable with him proposing during the wedding, at least as a public thing.’ He seemed totally shocked that she said no, and he replied saying, ‘Weddings are supposed to be about celebrating love, and that as my girlfriend’s best friend, you should want us to finally be engaged after 11 years together.’
She revealed, ‘I absolutely want that for them, but I just didn’t understand why it needed to happen during the 5.5 hour window of my ceremony/cocktail hour/reception.’ She was very apologetic and offered to help however she could with the proposal another day, but he was clearly furious. Because of this rejection, she hasn’t heard from her maid of honour since the wedding day which she estimated is ‘probably the longest we’ve ever gone without talking.’
She wrote, ‘I had tried several times to get in touch with her and let her know at one point that I had something of her’s she had lost at the wedding. But never got any response. She continued, ‘I texted the other day saying I was going to drop the lost item off at her house, so she’d have it, and she finally responded.’ According to her friend and maid of honour, during the party at the hotel bar her boyfriend got very drunk and told her that she would have been engaged that night if I hadn’t ruined his plan.
The user explained, ‘She said she isn’t exactly mad at me, but she feels like her future engagement is ruined, and that I denied her a chance at happiness. I told her I was so sorry, and the conversation ended pretty awkwardly. She revealed that their mutual friend voiced her opinion and agreed that she doesn’t love that he planned to propose at the wedding, but thinks she was the asshole ultimately for saying no.’
The top comment on the Reddit forum said, ‘You should reply back “A man that really wants to marry you will make the effort to do so. He won’t base your future together on usurping someone else’s celebration. I’m very sorry that you think I ruined your chance at happiness. I’m sorrier that you think your happiness depends on a proposal from a man that is putting in the bare minimum of effort to plan a life with you.”
Another user believes the boyfriend is firmly in the wrong stating,’ After 11 years and asking to propose at a wedding - which sane people know is a no no - I'm wondering if bf was using this as a reason not to do it and cast the blame elsewhere’
This comment references her maid of honour, ‘Your friend is the one not being a good friend to you, not the other way around. If I were her, I’d be so embarrassed that my bf tried to (1) hijack my bff’s wedding and (2) ruined a marriage proposal by throwing a tantrum. She’s marrying a huge Arsehole but she’s invested 11 years in him, so it’s easier to scapegoat you than to face that.
So, who is the asshole in this situation?
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