Pregnancy can be uncomfortable—this is not news. Chapped nipples, intense gas and bloating, morning sickness, tiredness, back pain: the list of side effects is never ending. Yet, it often appears difficult for men to appreciate what women are going through for some reason. And on today’s instalment of drama on Reddit's Am I The Asshole [AITA} thread one man told his pregnant wife to ‘stop acting like a child’ after she complained about her condition. Nice.
‘[We] are currently expecting our first child in December,’ he wrote. ‘I live in chronic pain due to a slew of health issues; I also work where I’m on my feet constantly. I can’t get a new job right now due to personal reasons, but I plan to as soon as possible.
‘My wife quit her job right after we found out we were expecting (we always planned this),’ he added. ‘The problem is, she’s gotten really lazy. I understand pregnancy is hard, but it’s gotten to the point she won’t even make food or clean the house sometimes.
‘She’s been whining and complaining contactly since the moment she took the test,’ he doubled down. ‘She sounds like a child. (I[’m] hungry, I[’m] sore, my head hurts, I’m sick, I can’t shit etc) …The second I’d get home every night, she’d want me to do something for her.
‘The straw that broke the camel’s back happened a couple days ago,’ he said. ‘I had just gotten home from a 10-hour shift and was having a flair up. I just wanted to have a bath and relax because I was in so much pain.’
As a compromise, the man told his wife to order a takeaway instead of asking him to cook but she explained she could only eat home-cooked meals because everything else makes her sick. ‘This is where I might be the asshole,’ he admitted. ‘I yelled at her and told her I’ve had the worst day and she needs to stop complaining and be an adult for once, she started crying. I immediately apologized over and over again but she left anyway.
‘A couple hours later my MIL [mother in law] called me and called me a “misogynistic c*nt” and a slew of other names. I hung up because I don’t need that,’ he said. ‘Now the beans are spilled and all the women in our family are mad at me…so am I the asshole?’
Pregnancy is hard. Physically, mentally and emotionally - it’s undeniably draining. Yet, so is being in chronic pain and still having to go to work. As one Reddit user put it: ‘It sounds like neither one of you want to actually be supportive, it's more of a competition of who has it worse.’
‘Being pregnant sucks but it’s not an excuse to be so picky as to turn down a DoorDashed meal when your spouse is exhausted,’ another added. ‘Similarly, it’s clear that OP is grudging about supporting his pregnant wife even before this incident, which is the least he can do unless he wants to spend 9 months as a human incubator.
‘But what really gets me is that both of them are so focused on their own needs that they’re nowhere near ready to accommodate the needs of a small child,’ they correctly concluded. ‘So really, time to grow up, put their big boy/girl pants on and realize that they’re about to be parents.’