On last night’s episode of Love Island, Kaz Kamwi was branded ‘toxic’ for supposedly stringing Matthew MacNaab along. After coupling up with the Irish islander this week, Kaz admitted she was still jealous of Tyler Cruickshank’s relationship with Clarisse Juliette, and when Tyler later reciprocated those feelings for her, she confessed the door was still open ‘just a crack’.
It’s how she handled things with Matthew though that riled viewers up the wrong way. After going straight to the other girls to explain what happened with Tyler, the boys were left to talk it out between themselves. Matthew then, wasn’t happy that she didn’t pull him first.
Very quickly, Kaz was accused of being disrespectful towards Matthew, with some using the opportunity to troll the 26-year-old fashion blogger and send her vile racist abuse. It shouldn’t need to be said, but clearly it does: no matter how you feel about Kaz’s actions last night, nothing excuses racial abuse and trolling.
Where people were respectfully debating her actions, there was still a clear narrative that Kaz was in the wrong. But frankly, I don’t get it. Call me toxic, call me a man-hater, but I just do not believe she’s actually hurting anyone. Rather, she’s reacting to how hurt she’s been by toxic men in the villa.
Tyler is a player, this we can all agree on. Not only did he initially sell Kaz a dream, but he left her heartbroken in Casa Amor by moving on to the first beautiful woman that showed interest in him. After being strung along by Toby Aromolaran and consistently undervalued by all of the men in the villa, it’s no wonder she’s hedging her bets slightly when it comes to Tyler and Matthew.
It’s not that Kaz is stringing Matthew along, but rather taking her time to process her emotions before ruining either situation.
Haven’t we all found ourselves in the confusing place where you want to move forward with someone but know you probably shouldn’t? She clearly likes Tyler more than Matthew, but Matthew is also her chance at new, uncomplicated romance. It’s not that she’s stringing him along then, but more so taking time to process her feelings without risking ruining either situation.
It’s no small decision. If she chooses Tyler, she risks seeming weak, going back on boundaries she set and being hurt again. If she chooses Matthew, she loses what she knows is a deeper connection with Tyler. These are by no means problems we should expect her to solve within one ‘chat’, and viewers certainly don’t expect the men to when they have similar love triangles based on a lot less emotion.
Of course, there’s a case for her being straight-up with Matthew about all of this – that’s what many are saying. All she needs to do is be brutally honest with him, they scream. But having watched the way Matthew reacted when she was brutally honest about still liking Tyler (after he first came back from Casa Amor) - where he was immediately cold with her and refused to even try and compete for her attention - why would she?
Matthew has not confessed any real feelings for Kaz, nor does he appear to be super affectionate (outside of bed-time snogs) or, as the islanders would say, be ‘falling’ for her. They’ve not been on a date and their chemistry is, shall we say, lacking. It stands to reason then, that Matthew’s reaction to her confusion over Tyler comes more from hurt pride than hurt feelings. It also stands to reason that Kaz wouldn’t expect Matthew to be genuinely upset, particularly given their conversation where she claims he told her they’re ‘early days’ and ‘not that serious’.
What Kaz is doing then, is juggling two men who base much of their actions towards her on ego and jealousy. She’s dealing with toxic masculinity, and in turn, seeming toxic herself. But the thing is, she should be allowed to process where she stands on Tyler before ruining her relationship with Matthew.
Some say she shouldn’t have recoupled with Matthew at all if she still likes Tyler – and that she is using him to make Tyler jealous – but actually, viewers seem to have forgotten she set a clear boundary with Tyler, that if she wasn’t his priority she wasn’t interested, prior to the recoupling. For her own self-esteem then, picking Matthew was the only option.
She may still have had feelings for Tyler – they clearly don’t go away overnight – but she wasn’t even aware he would fight for her until last night. With so much confusion in such a short amount of time, was she really wrong to need a debrief with her girls before deciding how to approach things with Matthew?
When you’re dealing with two men who have shown themselves to be prideful, it’s always useful to get the insight of your friends before approaching a potential relationship-ending conversation.
But we expect these Islanders to know what they want immediately, to pull their partners for chats before they’ve even processed their own emotions. Actually, these are real people with complicated feelings, and Kaz is stuck between a man who she can’t trust but wants to, and a man she (hopefully) can trust but closes off at the mere thought of indecision.
Shouldn’t we grant Kaz some grace in making her mind up about Tyler before ruining everything she has (or rather, had) with Matthew? After such a horrible time in the villa until recently, having two men fight over her is actually the least she deserves. Toxic femininity or not, Kaz wouldn’t need to do any of this if she hadn’t been screwed over time and time again by toxic men – so let’s let her do the screwing for once.
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