‘I Don’t Know How I’ll Cope With Life Being So Busy Again’: Lockdown And The Rise Of Lockholm Syndrome

‘Anyone else struggling a bit with things opening up?’ tweeted Alice Beverton-Palmer, senior partnerships manager at Twitter, this week. ‘[I’m] feeling guilty about who to prioritise seeing and overwhelmed by plans and pressure. Lockdown felt safe on lots of levels.’

Over one thousand likes and hundreds of replies later, it became clear pretty quickly that Alice was not alone. As lockdown restrictions ease, it seems many of us are going through a new kind of emotional transition period having become settled in the safe bubbles of our homes.

It’s something comedian Deborah Frances-White coined ‘Lockholm Syndrome’ last week, telling Grazia ‘people have started going, “I don't know if I want to go out there again. My life was too fast. I like it here in my cocoon."’

It's a different kind of phenomenon to the general health anxiety many of us have right now, with our newfound hyper caution about germs taking its toll and often interrupting our typical daily activities. This nervousness feels more social in nature, with many sharing just how overwhelmed they expect to feel simply making plans with friends from now on.

‘Navigating a social life in London was – at worst – rather stressful,’ says Francesca Specter, host of the Alonement podcast. ‘Trekking across the city, choosing a mutually-satisfactory bar or restaurant, organising plans months in advance. We’re enjoying a honeymoon period of simple socialising like socially distanced walks in local parks or ad hoc bring-your-own-picnics. As someone who thrives off simple, ad hoc plans and investing in close friends I’ve really liked that, so the idea of going back to that version of “normal” feels like a shock to the system.’

Joanna Barlow, a production editor, agrees. ‘A big part of my worry is how I'll cope with life becoming so “busy” again,’ she explains. ‘Life has become a lot more relaxed and I'm scared of the idea of my life being so stressful again. I'm also worried that our brains have become used to avoiding people and seeing being in close contact as bad, so I'm not sure what the lasting effects have been.’

For Emily*, a secondary school teacher, lockdown has also meant a break from a stressful family dynamic. ‘I’ve enjoyed lockdown and the way it’s given me a reason to not feel pressured to see my mum, who is very demanding,’ she says. ‘So far I’ve been able to say it’s for her own good, she has terminal cancer so is shielding, but as lockdown lifts I feel that pressure to put her first again. I’ve really enjoyed the brief psychological respite.'

‘As lockdown lifts my mum is now expecting to see me and is talking about me driving her to places,’ Emily continues. ‘If I’m driving her in my car, how can I socially distance? But how also can I say no? I hate it.’

Even if you do want to go back to socialising with family or friends, with such trepidation in the air at the moment around reducing risk and avoiding a second spike in Covid-19 cases, many are faced with uncomfortable dilemmas of prioritising people.

‘My friends have started having social distanced “get togethers” but I’m still far too uncomfortable to go,’ says Claudia, an office assistant. ‘I live in another city to my mum and dad so I haven’t seen them since March and I don’t want to do anything to risk getting sick and not being able to see them for any longer than I need to.'

‘My family are my first priority but it has put me in an awkward position explaining that to friends who don’t take the rules as seriously,’ Claudia continues. ‘When I do start to see friends again, I’m going to be careful about only meeting the ones who I think are being as safe as possible so that will probably make for some drama too.’

So how do we combat these uncomfortable feelings and navigate a new social life that feels safe and stress-free? For Francesca, it’s all about setting new boundaries.

‘I’m going to take the pressure of myself trying to find the “perfect”, scene-setting restaurant and just accept that the people I’m meeting is vastly more important,’ she says. ‘The simplicity of socialising in the past couple of weeks, since rules changed, has been a firm reminder of what actually matters: the people you’re with.'

Joanna says she is going to avoid social media. ‘I get too stressed seeing what everyone else is doing or planning to do and I need to just concentrate on myself,’ she explains. ‘Just because we are allowed to do things, doesn't mean we have to and I want to keep my bubble as protected as possible for as long as possible.’

For some of us, there’s still much to figure out. ‘I haven’t worked out yet how to cope with these feelings,’ Emily admits. ‘I’m already far more anxious than I was a few weeks ago. I know my desire to conform and put others at ease will override my own principles and my own fears.’

If you're struggling with anxiety or want to talk to a professional, search your area for free psychological therapy services here.

*Name has been changed

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