We’ve all had that one friend, the male feminist, who in theory says all the right things (and genuinely believes them too) but can’t escape that male sense of entitlement that gives him the self-assurance to actually try and teach you about feminism. It’s peak mansplaining, but they’re not explaining away your issues, they’re over-explaining them to you as if they have a better understanding of gender inequality than you.
It’s the faux woke guy, the evolution of social media feminism, who learns about his gender injustice from memes and his girlfriend's Topshop t-shirts, and it’s something Justin Trudeau has been accused of more than once. He made headlines again this week when he interrupted a woman asking him a question to tell her she misused a word that undermines women in society.
During a town hall event in Alberta, Canada, a young woman - who at first thanked him for having a gender balanced cabinet - was asking Trudeau a question about his policy on volunteerism and religious organisations, going on to say ‘maternal love is the love that’s going the change the future of mankind.’
To which Trudeau interrupted her by waving his hand and saying ‘we like to say peoplekind, not necessarily mankind. It’s more inclusive’.
In all intents and purposes, he’s right, peoplekind is the correct term to use. Was it necessary to point out? No. Is correct terminology the fight women today care about? No. Much like the gender-neutral traffic lights, no-one really gives a shit about bullshit, meaningless distractions from the real issues. It was literally Zero Tolerance for FGM Day yesterday, there are more important problems to tackle. Maybe actually answer her question about your policies? Probably a tad more important than correcting missed terminology.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to think about your use of vocabulary in your everyday quest to be a better feminist, but if you’re a man in conversation with a woman who SURPRISE has some internalized misogyny, please just don’t correct her.
There may be some men who understand feminism better than some women, but there aren’t any cis, straight, white men (aka Trudeau) who understand injustice better than any woman. So, when you’re talking to a woman who misuses a term, it’s probably best not to patronize her by implying you know more about the importance of inclusivity than she does.
The issue at hand here is that there are tons of men now, who in a need to appear woke are haphazardly learning about feminism from only one source- the media (be it mainstream or social). We are only told what is newsworthy, and more often than not it’s men setting that agenda.
In understanding gender inequality and feminism, you have to go beyond the usual sources to educate yourself fully. Read a book, an online journal, an academic paper… these are the places you can actually become authentically woke. It’s why clickbait and commercial feminism is so damaging to the movement, because the people who are churning out these ‘feminist’ products are doing it solely for money or more clicks on their page (aka money).
They don’t actually know or care about feminism, they just churn out lowest common denominator entertaining facts or quotes, that not only dumb down peoples understanding but inspire a movement of social media feminism that is notoriously white and not conducive to actual actions.
The faux woke guy is the epitome of all of this. He’s seen that it’s a buzz word, something he should care about because everyone’s talking about it, and just like commercial brands, he’s jumped on it in an effort to appear more attractive to women. In reality, he’s scrolled past a meme about male feminists having better sex and now peacocks about as the man YOU need because HE understands your struggle.
So, men, if you’re going to consider yourself a feminist, be authentic and actually read about it from multiple sources, different points of view. Find the opinions of all of the classes, races and beyond. The more authentic your feminism is the more likely we are to believe it.
Check out the authentic social media activists who take their fight beyond the small screen...
Inspirational Instagram Accounts You Should Follow
1 of 24Women In Comics
Illustrating inspirational images and depicting women in comic form, this account will brighten up your timeline with some home truths in the form of pretty pictures.
2 of 24Adwoa Aboah
This insanely beautiful model founded GURLS TALK, an online community where women from all backgrounds can share their personal experiences in a safe space.
3 of 24Alicia Garza
Alicia is an editor and activist who co-created #BlackLivesMatter. Her feed is a mixture of relatable memes, unfiltered selfies and educational posts to keep you woke.
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4 of 24Amandla Stenberg
You might recognise this actor from The Hunger Games, when she played the character only character we cried endless tears for, Rue. Now, while still acting, she's a full-fledged activist posting about everything gender, feminism and black culture.
5 of 24MuslimGirl/Amani
Amani created the fast-growing activism account @MuslimGirl, another one you should definitely follow. She has spoken across the world about Muslim women and posts everything from badass selfies to stats you need to know.
6 of 24Amber Amour
Amber created @CreatingConsentCulture which aims to educate people on rape culture and support rape and sexual assault survivors. She's also outspoken about racism and sex work, her feed will be endless many dinner party talking points.
7 of 24Amber Rose
You may only know Amber Rose as Kanye's ex, but think again. Amber is a sex positivity icon, with her own pocast 'Loveline with Amber Rose' up until 2018 that aimed to promote healthy sexual relationships and self-love. If you can get past the fact she advertised flat tummy tea once (fgs Amber), you'll love her feminism-filled feed.
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8 of 24Beverly Bond
Author of 'Black Girls Rock', Beverly's posts will have you both inspired and enraged, filled with commentary on everyday injustices.
9 of 24Bree Newsome
You may recognise Bree as the activist who took down the confederate flag from a flagpole outside the South Carolina Capitol building. She's continuing her activism with inspiring art you need to see.
10 of 24Cameron Russell
An american model who called out the fashion industry for sexual harassment and assault, she started the #MyJobShouldNotIncludeAbuse hashtag. Her instagram is full of inspiring stories and educational videos exposing different injustices within her industry and beyond.
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11 of 24Iskra Lawrence
If your not already following Iskra, your living under an Instagram rock. The body positive model started her own business, everyBODY with Iskra, to give health and fitness advice beyond just getting super skinny. You need her body posi vibes in your life.
12 of 24Jessamyn
Another super body positive account to follow, Jessamyn is a yoga teacher regularly posting about the emotional and physical benefits of body positivity and practicing yoga.
13 of 24Joanna Thangiah
Shun your timeline of filtered selfies and over exposed holiday destinations. It's time for some feminist, mental health aware art! This account is amazing for cute cartoons that say everything we're already feeling.
14 of 24Judy Reyes
You'll probably remember Judy as Carla from Scrubs, or one of the other thousand TV show she's been in throughout her insanely successful career. Unlike most Hollywood actors, her Insta is full of activism and news you need to know.
15 of 24Logan Browning
Activist and actor, Logan Browning is the lead of Netflix hit Dear White People. Posting powerful content and links to charities you can donate to so you can turn your online activism into action- she's a force to be reckoned with.
16 of 24Makers Women
MAKERS is a storytelling platform for women, posting quotes to keep you inspired throughout the day. Stay up to date with gender injustice, while also feeling hopeful with the powerful words these amazing women have to say.
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17 of 24Nimisha Bhanot
Another artist you need to follow, Nimisha creates amazing prints (which you can buy) critiquing societal perceptions of South Asian women. She's based in Canada, but these prints can brighten up your timeline anywhere.
18 of 24Muslim Girl
Muslim Girl, where 'muslim women talk back' is an account ran by Amani. Advocating for issues facing muslim women, both accounts are an inspiration and necessity on your feed.
19 of 24Project Consent
There's no time like the present to be educating people on consent. This account does exactly that, and gives you the perfect explanations, comebacks and reminders to throw out at a dinner party if the issue comes up.
20 of 24Rowan Blanchard
Gone are the days of Disney stars going off the rails, this actor and activist is a beacon of positivity- especially online. Fighting gender and race injustice and beyond, she's one to watch.
21 of 24Rupi Kaur
Rupi made headlines in 2015 when she posted pictures of her on Instagram with visible menstrual blood. Her posts were blocked by Instagram, causing backlash against the social media platform. She continues to break boundaries with her writing and poetry.
22 of 24Sophie King
This UK based embroidery artist is an up-and-coming star, embroidering feminist slogans onto everything from bras to roses. Bring her insta to life with her slogan t-shirts, or just stare at the pretty pictures, either way she's someone you should follow.
23 of 24The Vulva Gallery
Our favourite of all the accounts, the vulva gallery promotes self-love in an area SO often ignored. With two-thirds of women avoiding smear tests, life-saving procedures, because of the look of their vagina, it's time we stopped all of the self-loathing around genitals. Providing a regular reminder that all vaginas are beautiful, if you only follow one account of this list, it should be this one.
24 of 24Trash Is For Tossers
Lauren Singer lives an entirely waste-free life. Yes, you can actually do that. As #plasticfree takes over our news feed, it's time you had some daily advice on how exactly to reduce your waste. Save the planet!
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.