If you haven’t noticed, this week seems to be the one we’re all getting dumped. At least, that’s according to stories of women we spoke to who are seeing their virtual relationships crumble now that the possibility of meeting up is a reality. What does that mean for our emotional wellbeing? A whole lot of heartbreak on top of an already anxiety-inducing environment.
It’s not just virtual relationships, according to Cartmell Shepherd Solicitors, cohabitating and married couples are increasingly enquiring about splitting this week as lockdown eases. According to them, three months of confinement has had a huge impact on personal relationships and family life in the UK.
‘What we have seen is that with the lockdown easing, inquiries have increased,’ Amy Fallows, associate solicitor at Cartmell Shepherd Solicitors told Grazia. ‘For some their relationship might have already been in trouble before lockdown and this was the final straw. For others they might have decided during lockdown that this wasn’t the life they wanted.
‘While people were in full lockdown they might have chosen to brave it out because there were no other options, or if children are involved maybe it’s because the children were also at home and would have witnessed everything,’ she continues. ‘With conveyancing moving again, some people have now started to look at moving out of their homes - whether that is moving on from a marriage or moving away from cohabiting - and they are wanting advice on what are their rights, whether that’s around finances, the home, or children.’
So whether your virtual relationship is crumbling or you're facing a move away from a more serious relationship, it looks like the next few weeks might be heartbreak central. And while we might be able to go out more than we could before, it’s safe to say our normal coping mechanisms are likely still not available to us in the capacity they were before, at least.
So how do you get over someone without your usual distractions, without your bar-hopping with friends or necking strangers in clubs? We spoke to therapist and Counselling Directory member Deshara Pariag to find out. Here are her all-important tips…
Take the time to grieve
Allow yourself to feel your emotions due to the loss, forming an attachment with someone virtually or in person can be exciting, however, when it doesn’t work out it can be painful and bring up a lot of unwanted emotions. It’s okay to feel hurt and sad, as it is natural to form a bond, regardless of whether it was short- term, virtual or long term and you spent a lot of time together.
Watch entertaining and empowering content
Start doing those things you always wanted to do, make your goal list, binge watch your favourite tv programme.
Stop overthinking
Stop questioning yourself over your decisions and asking the ‘What if?’ questions. That is a vicious cycle and will become toxic to your health and wellbeing.
Instead, focus and remember what made you leave the relationship and why. The unhealthy signs that were there, the red flags and the reason the relationship ended. Focus on what you can learn from the break up and the learning experience.
At first ask yourself, what unhealthy signs you ignored just because you were too afraid of losing the person, did you notice any red flags in the relationship and what you do not want to allow in your future relationships. It is always important to remember that a break-up can actually make up for all the lessons that you never thought you needed. So keep your eyes open.
Find you
Think back to the person you were before the relationship, the things you enjoyed and do them!
Read More:
These Lockdown Love Stories Prove Just How Much Our Dating Culture Has Changed