The internet was shocked this week when a woman took to Mumsnet to tell the story of how she’d been forced to go to a foodbank after money troubles left her with no money in her account and her partner, who had just inherited £500,000 wouldn’t help her out.
‘I have been with my DP [dear partner for two years,’ the woman explained. ‘We have children the same age, but do not live together. He co parents with an ex. I do not have contact with mine. There have always been financial disparities, with him being wealthy and me not,’ she continued. ‘But he pursued me and told me we would have a nice life together. I never expected anyone to "keep" me and have always worked full time.
'Recently I have had a lot of unexpected problems,’ she added. ‘I have 11p in my bank account and I have been frantic about money. He has just inherited half a million, also unexpected. I have had to use a food bank, he knows this. He has not offered to take me shopping. If it were the other way round, I would have given him some money.
‘I never expected him to fund me,’ she continued. But at the beginning, he spoke of marriage and since I never had this and I loved him, I honestly believed this would mean a happy life for me, finally.
'Over time I feel that I must be ugly and worthless for nothing to have happened,' the woman explained. I' feel that whilst he prioritises his co-parenting with the ex (rightly as the children are more important), including meals out occasionally, he must really despise me to leave me here without food.
‘Fortunately, I have a credit card and get paid soon,’ she added. But, AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to think he has been mean and does not love me, given he has not offered to help in an unexpectedly difficult time?
'I haven't asked directly, I don't want to,’ the woman added, but specified her partner knew she was using a foodbank. ‘A decent man would offer,’ she continued. ‘I don't think I'm being a martyr here, any normal kind person would offer. I shouldn't have to beg… I have felt so alone in my life and feel even more alone now, because the person who promised me a nice life, is seeing me in the worst position I have ever been in.'
Mumsnet users rushed to offer their sympathy, with most commenting that the woman should split from her partner after he failed to help her when she was struggling. Meanwhile, others said the man owed her nothing because they were justdating and didn’t have any children together.
But this isn’t a case for calling into question official labels or relationship fine print. This is a lack of human decency and kindness and a failure of the man to offer support to another human being he (supposedly) cares about when they desperately needed his help. It's peak selfishness.
Of course, money doesn’t equate to love. But allowing your partner who you’re meant to feel deeply for go hungry is twisted and cruel. Half a million pounds is a lot of cash and, even if the man in question was taking his ex-partner and children out for dinner, he could have more than afforded to give (or even loan) his current partner some money while she resolved her precarious financial situation.
'I would never expect someone to pay my way for me but I'd never let someone I love go hungry - or even someone I don't love for that matter,’ one user responded to the woman. 'If I had half a million pounds and heard Bob down the road was struggling, I'd drop an anonymous £100 through his door for a food shop at the absolute minimum.’
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