Virtual dating was a novel, almost exciting, concept at the beginning of lockdown 1. But now, following almost a year of awkward video dates and even more awkward socially distanced walks in the park, for many single people, that initial excitement has well and truly dissipated. ‘At the start of the pandemic, I was running around telling everybody: “This is the best time in modern history to date,”’ Paul C Brunson, one of half of the Celebs Go Dating agents tells Grazia. ‘It was totally new to everyone. There wasn't a lot of expectation - it was fun. And now it's become really tiresome.’
Single people might collectively be tired, but not all hope is lost. Anna Williamson, the other half of the CGD experts, thinks that dating, when restrictions have eased, is going to become kinder and more considerate. ‘I think this pandemic has taught us to slow down and invest in one person long enough to find out if you could consider getting to know them more,’ she says. ‘Up until the pandemic, I think the root problem of relationships was that no one had actually taken the time to invest in anyone… It had been all too easy to go shopping again, and find somebody else. I hope we will all take a pause and invest more in dating because, during the pandemic, we’ve realised how important all of our relationships are.'
So, if you want to still date, how do you get past that feeling of not being bothered? What’s the best way to meet new people? And how do you slide into somebody-you-fancy’s DMs when the world is basically on fire? Grazia asked the dating experts for their best advice when it comes to securing a date for when lockdown 3 is (finally) over.
Don’t give up - but take a break if you need to
Anna: ‘What I would say is, don't give up on it. But if you are feeling a bit fatigued about online dating, do take a pause and step back, because you have to go into online dating with the best intentions. If you're going in half arsed, you're never going to get anything out of it. And it's like dating in general, you've got to go in all guns blazing. If you think you're not going to find someone, then hey, guess what, that's gonna happen. You have to set up your intention to be able to follow it through and have the best chance.’
Get your friends to help with your dating profile
Anna: ‘In my experience, if you've got particular dating profile at the moment, scrap it, have a read - and then get a friend to help rewrite one from the start, because it's much easier for someone else to gas you up.’
Instagram is the best way to date
Paul: ‘Nothing comes close to [Instagram]. But it's how you it's how you finesse it. Go to one of your real friends' profile, look at their last few posts, then look at the people who have commented on your friends' posts and go to their page. And then, when you go to their page, ask yourself two questions. One, do I find myself physically attracted to them? And two, do I like the life they portray online? Because let's keep it real, everyone is portraying the life they want to have on Instagram. If the answer to both is yes, then you ask your friend "can you introduce me?" And that's where the magic happens.’
You need three types of photo on your Instagram/online dating profile
Paul: ‘First, you want to have a photo of you smiling. Because a genuine smile is one of the sexiest things. Secondly, you want to have a photo of you in action, doing something, because if you go to someone's page, and it's just them posed up - you know, standing in Dubai, or at a beach - then that's indicative of their life, they will just spend their life posing, not actually doing things. So you want to have a photo which shows you in action. And the third is you want a full body shot.’
And, finally, this is how to slide into someone’s DMs
Paul: ‘Well, sliding into DMs normally results in nothing. The real thing is you want to get an introduction, that's where most people go wrong - because when you slide directly in, you're starting at zero.
'But if you can't get an introduction, and you need to slide in, the best thing to do is to lead with the real reason why you messaged. And so, with sliding into DMs, a lot of people will slide in with some straight bullshit. Be truthful, right? So what's the truth? "The truth is, I was on your page. And I was mesmerized by your eyes. Or [I’m so impressed that you] travel the world, I find that intriguing." Because when you stand on the truth, you can never lose - because if they don't respond, well, at least you told the truth. But if you lie, and they don't respond, you're now second guessing yourself. And you're thinking, "oh, wow, maybe I should have said have said this". So transparency, that's best - but that's really the second thing, number one is the most important, and that is getting an introduction.’
Celebs Go Dating starts on Monday January 25 at 9pm on E4.
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