When you hire someone to look after your children, you want to be certain they’re in good hands. And on this week’s Am I The Arsehole drama one Reddituser has told of how he fired his housekeeper turned nanny after she began to slut shame his teenage daughter.
‘Two years ago I lost my wife in a car accident, it was devastating’ the OP [original poster] explained. She left behind our three daughters, 14, 11, and 5. Once I had to go back to work, I needed somebody to help keep the house in order and help with the youngest as she wasn’t in school yet.'
And about a year ago, the man hired a woman called Kate to be his housekeeper and nanny for his youngest daughter: ‘Kate is an older lady and quite religious, which I don’t mind as she was a good worker,’ he explained before emphasising: ‘I've made it a priority to teach my kids to love themselves and not care what others think, or be ashamed of their bodies in any way.’
‘Four months ago, my oldest who I’ll call Bre, started wearing more revealing tops,’ the man continued. ‘Nothing too crazy, obviously, she’s 14. I’ve noticed Kate making passive aggressive comments about it a few time but kind of shrugged it off.’
‘Three days ago, Bre called me at work crying,’ he explained of the escalating situation. ‘Apparently, she was going out with her friends when Kate stopped her and told her not to leave unless she changed. Bre asked why and she said “it makes you look easy, like a slut. Go back upstairs.”’
When he got home, the man confronted Kate straight away. ‘She didn’t even deny it but claimed she was trying to “protect” her,’ he said. ‘This was like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I told her she was fired. When she asked why, I told her there have been too many instances of disrespect for my parenting and I wouldn't deal with it anymore.’
In the aftermath, the man told his parents he’d had to fire Kate. ‘They went off on me,’ he explained. ‘[They were] saying I was an asshole because I just left an old woman without a job. I said that’s not my problem and hung up. I do feel bad,’ he acknowledged. ‘But her old views aren’t an excuse for slut shaming.’
While some Reddit users have pointed out that maybe the OP could have given Kate a warning rather than immediately firing her, it’s hard not to act with urgency when you can see trauma being inflicted upon your children. The OP only gets one shot at raising his children without gifting them generational shame…
It’s commendable that the OP has tried so hard to raise his children with body confidence. Unfortunately, it appears that his own parents sympathise with Kate—maybe because they’re of a similar age or have similarly antiquated views. But, really, if Kate had wanted to keep her job then she shouldn’t have let her own views about women’s bodies, and what their clothes mean to men, interfere with her work. If you spoke to a client like that in a cooperate environment, then you’d be fired there too.