Another day, another Reddit Am I The Asshole (AITA) drama. And, as is so often the way, today’s feud revolves around a wedding. A 24-year-old man has taken to the thread to explain how he’s getting married to his fiancé Holly this summer but didn’t invite his mum because she cheated on his dad—who has since forgiven her.
‘I’m an only child and my mum and dad I always felt had a very good relationship from the outside,’ he wrote. ‘But when I was 14 my mum cheated on my dad with a family friend [and it] absolutely broke my dad.
‘She was a great mum and [I] always felt like she was affectionate with my dad. But she became cold right after everything came out. My parents tried counselling, but my dad couldn’t look at her. The divorce was horrible. My mum went after my dad so hard.
The original poster’s [OP] mum had tried to get majority custody of him and also caused financial problems for his dad. To add fuel to the fire, she also kept dating the family friend. Eventually, the OP decided to cut ties with her and live with his dad full time. ‘It took years, but my dad got back to his old self,’ he added.
After the age of 15, the OP had very little contact with his mum and told her he had ‘no interest in being around someone like her’. But when he got engaged to Holly nine months ago his dad rang the mum to let her know and they started talking again.
‘Three months ago, I show up to my dad’s and him and my mum are there,’ the OP wrote of the rekindling. ‘They sit me down and tell me that they’ve been dating. I called him dumb, pathetic, and reminded him of all the things mum did to him… I told my dad that he can do whatever he wants but I’m not going to sit by and support it,’ he explained. ‘We worked together to get him back. So, I felt like he wasn’t valuing himself or me.’
Since the alternation, the OP’s mum has been trying to get an invite to his wedding—even as the dad’s plus one. The groom has remained firm and told his father that he can bring ‘any other human being’ but that if his date is his mother then he has to come alone.
‘My dad is ‘distraught’, according to relatives,’ the OP said. ‘He feels like he has to choose between his only kid and his wife. I told my dad it was going to be like this from now on. Any holidays would be a solo invite. I wouldn’t be bringing my grandkids to his house if my mum was there. So, he needed to think carefully.’
After the groom made his position on his parent’s relationship clear, his mum’s side of the family has also started ‘trashing’ him and he’s uninvited them from the wedding, too.
It must have taken a lot of maturity and courage for the OP to stand by what he wanted when the backlash from his family was so strong. It would have been much easier to cave and let his mum walk back into his life, whether he wanted her to or not.
While parent estrangement is sad, it can also result in a feeling of freedom and the OP seems to have made up his mind that he prefers his life without his mother in it. That’s his decision…and it’s also his wedding.
As one Reddit user said: ‘You are never the arsehole when it comes who you invite, or in this case do NOT invite, to your wedding. Unless it’s your fiancé…that could be a bit awkward.’