Which Baby Shower Stereotype Are You?

Baby Shower season is upon us... so, which of these baby showers have you attended, organised or got horribly, accidentally drunk at?

Baby Shower

by Jo Hoare |
Updated on

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American imports have a lot to answer for: having to make an effort at Halloween, the use of the word gotten, the deification of the burger and of course the baby shower.

With six allowed inside together and larger gatherings outside, baby shower season is here - whether you like it or not.

Ostensibly a chance for everyone to ‘catch up with mum’, we all know it’s pretty much all about the gifts and speaking on behalf of a frequent flyer in the baby-shower world we’re fine with that! As long as you give us a little something in return…Here’s how to give good shower no matter what type you go for

The ‘tacky’ one

Now if I could have turned those quotation marks into little hearts I would have done for I LOVE a ‘tacky’ baby shower. In a world where hen-do’s have gone all grown-up and chic and penis deeley boppers and erection hooplas are but a fond memory I say all power to the shower that embraces this vibe. In fact why don’t we have more penis at a baby shower? It’s what got us there in the first place after all. Petition to normalise out of work actors grinding to Ginuwine against super pregnant women! Porn or birth picture round quizzes (lol to the dark horses getting all of these right, hello Pornhub premium member). Anatomical birthing cupcakes complete with pube sprinkles. Preggo Pictionary…. Heaven.

Good hostess tip: Ditch the chocolate baby poo nappy game. It stops being funny after about three seconds and it’s about as covid friendly as a vodka luge.

The one with no booze

Now each to their own but banning booze at a celebration event where it’s mostly adults feels ever so slightly, ok massively, judgy to me. The issue with a prohibiton-esque shower or ‘sprinkle’ as you’re probably on board with calling it if you’ve issued a wine ban is that it encourages what I like to call the Samantha Jones effect. This means perfectly decent guests who’d usually have one and half glasses of prosecco max feel compelled to fight for their right to party and will soon be trying to text a dealer they once used in 2001 and topping up their elderflower presse with hand sanitiser.

Good hostess tip: Come on, a couple of jugs of weak Pimms won’t go amiss.

The work one

The best bang for your buck as a baby shower guest. You put a couple of quid in an envelope (let's be honest if you only have twenty pence in change it might be that) , scribble your best wishes next to a message from Sue from sales who mistook this for the card wishing Martin a peaceful retirement and then sit back and enjoy an early finish, a nice work-bought spread and an awkward handing over of an entry level White Company newborn hamper.

Good hostess tip: Don’t let the creepy guy in finance do the speech, you know he’ll say something inappropriate.

The swanky one

Tucked away in the private dining room of a 5 star hotel, you’ll pay your entry fee in the form of the second cheapest romper you could find in Selfridges designer babywear section and god will it be worth it. Enjoy watching a spot of competitive posh mum one upmanship as you scoff Michelin star canapes and enjoy a couple of bespoke-for-baby cocktails before marvelling at the mum-to-be having to call three Uber XL’s home to fit all her swag in.

Good hostess tip: Pop a couple of affordable pieces on the gift list, even if it is at Tiffany.

The gender reveal one

Ok so mum might have got a bit carried away watching gender reveals on YouTube and having failed to secure a UK equivalent of lighting up the Burj Khalifa in gender norm shades (what would this be btw? A Gail Porter naked bottom projected on the Houses of Parliament moment?) she’s instead ordered 100 ballons to be popped in unison/a golf playing troupe to hit pink or blue powder filled balls/ pastel painted golden retriever puppies to perform a 40 minute dressage routine (ok that last one might be a touch exaggerated). Despite yourself you can’t help but find it exciting!

Good hostess tip: Prime your photo takers properly - no one wants to pretend for the 11th time they weren’t expecting pink confetti because your sister had her thumb across her camera.

READ MORE:****The Best Gift Ideas For New Mums That You Can Buy Online

READ MORE: 21 Gifts Every New Parent Will Be Thrilled With… And That You Might Not Have Thought Of

READ MORE: Seven Reasons It’s Not Rude To Send People A Gift List For Your Children

Gallery

SHOP: The Best Gifts For New Mums And Babies

mum to be gifts1 of 38

Oliver Bonas, Mama Lavender, Eucalyptus & Ylang Ylang Unwind Set, £25

Give the gift of 'a moment of calm' for any new Mum or soon-to-be Mum. A mug for a relaxing tea, a soft eye mask for snatched moments of sleep and a heavenly scented roller ball, and breath....

mum to be gifts The Atomiser, £84, Aromatherapy Associates2 of 38

Aromatherapy Associates, The Atomiser, £84

This diffuser from Aromatherapy Associates is waterless, resulting in much more concentrated essential oils for the benefits of aromatherapy. It also comes with a soft light and is completely portable.

mum to be gifts The Atomiser, £84, Aromatherapy Associates3 of 38

Kair, Signature Bundle, £40

Give her the gift of something practical and pleasing, and put the joy back into washing with Kair's Signature Bundle. The luxe laundry brand will extend the lifespan of her (and the little one's) clothes, with a 'Buy Less, Wear More' approach ideal for the eco-conscious woman in your life.

mum to be gifts Socksss, Set Of Two Intarsia Stretch Organic Cotton-Blend Socks, £364 of 38

Socksss, Set Of Two Intarsia Stretch Organic Cotton-Blend Socks, £36

Surprisingly useful to any new Mum who's washing pile is constantly growing. A fresh pair of socks, especially in joyous shades of lilac and green, are an underestimated treat.

mum to be gifts the standard hotel5 of 38

The Standard, Got It For My Mama Pamper Suite Stay

Give the ultimate gift for a Mum to be or new Mum, a good nights sleep and an even better pamper at London's The Standard. This Mother's Day, treat Mum to an overnight in one of The Standard's suites and add on something extra-special with the choice of rejuvenating and relaxing facial, a mani or pedicure, or a blow-dry in the privacy of the suite. The suite includes Peloton bikes (if requested), 24hr gym access and private terrace for a little bit of well-earned peace and quiet. She deserves it!

mum to be gifts By Ruby, New Mum Bundle, £53.70 For One, £84.08 For Two6 of 38

By Ruby, New Mum Bundle, £53.70 For One, £84.08 For Two

Another pretty muslin is lovely, but a freezer full of instant, nutritious meals? Now you're talking. Wholesome, healthy ready meals are catnip to new parents who haven't so much as showered for a week, let alone thought about doing a food shop. ByRuby's New Parent Bundle includes everything from grass fed beef lasagne to sweet potato soup and brownies. Your friend will go gaga for them during those sleep deprived early days.

mum to be gifts By Ruby, New Mum Bundle, £53.70 For One, £84.08 For Two7 of 38

Astrid and Miyu X Susan Caplan, Pearl Charm Bracelet, £75

Following a sold out collaboration in 2021, Astrid & Miyu have partnered up with vintage Jewellery Curator Susan Caplan for a second limited edition collection of statement pieces that she will treasure for years to come.

mum to be gifts Monica Vinader, Deia Pebble Locket Fine Chain Necklace, £1758 of 38

Monica Vinader, Deia Pebble Locket Fine Chain Necklace, £175

A modern take on the classic locket. The pebble shaped 18ct gold vermeil locket can be engraved both inside and out, and comes on an adjustable gold chain. The perfect gift.

mum to be gifts  New Mum Smallable, Just Dutch Miffy Crochet Rattle, £219 of 38

Smallable, Just Dutch Miffy Crochet Rattle, £21

These sweet, crocheted rattles come in a choice of seven colourways, and will keep a little one entertained for long enough for mum and dad to grab five minutes.

mum to be gifts Porte & Paire, Shearling Slides, £18010 of 38

Porte & Paire, Shearling Slides, £180

Time has now ceased to exist and day and night have become one. Slippers that can be worn outside respectably are any new Mum's best friend.

mum to be gifts  Organic Zoo, Navy Midnight Bloomers With Braces, White Midnight T-Shirt and Navy Midnight Pixie Bonnet, from £2211 of 38

Organic Zoo, Navy Midnight Bloomers With Braces, White Midnight T-Shirt and Navy Midnight Pixie Bonnet, from £22

For something special, check out these organic cotton pieces from Organic Zoo's Midnight range. And while they are ridiculously cute when combined, they are also brilliant worn as separates too – and will instantly elevate any outfit.

mum to be gifts Cook, New Parents 7 Nights of Meals, £66.9012 of 38

Cook, New Parents 7 Nights Of Meals, £66.90

Give the gift of not having to Cook to any new parent who hasn't had time to eat a real meal in the last few weeks. Trust us, it will be appreciated.

mum to be gifts  Oh Mumma, Build A Box, from £1013 of 38

Oh Mumma, Build A Box, from £10

Newborns are always showered with gifts – but spare a thought for mum, who definitely deserves spoiling too. May we recommend these brilliant boxes from Oh Mumma that are filled with mum and baby themed beauty products. Simply choose up to six items that you reckon would make her life easier/make her smile from the curated selection, and they will do the rest.

mum to be gifts Birkenstock, Boston Suede Slippers, £9014 of 38

Birkenstock, Boston Suede Slippers, £90

The easiest footwear for anyone who is time-poor. Easy, go with everything and anything and super comfy. Added bonus, the adjustable buckles can help with any puffy ankles and feet. A failsafe new mum and mum to be!

mum to be gifts  New Mum And Baby Gift Guide Cherries Art Print, Fy 2515 of 38

Fy, Cherries Art Print, £25

Brighten up their nursery wall with this cute cherries art print from Fy. Available in three different sizes, and with a framing option, you can customise it to fit into any wall space.

mum to be gifts Diptyque, Baies Room Spray, £5016 of 38

Diptyque, Baies Room Spray, £50

A treat for any new Mum; the scent of calm. A little room freshener without having to clean anything if an ideal prezzie for the chicest of new Mums.

mum to be gifts  New MumNealu2019s Yard Remedies, Mother and Baby Collection, £4517 of 38

Neal’s Yard Remedies, Mother and Baby Collection, £45

Surprise the new mum in your life with this organic mother and baby pampering kit from Neals Yard. Comprising of Baby Balm, Mother's Balm, Pure Baby Oil, Mother's Massage Oil, Baby Bath & Shampoo, Mother's Bath Oil and an organic cotton flannel, it's so much better than a bath set. All she needs now is to find five magical minutes to use it…

mum to be gifts Skims, Soft Lounge Stretch Jersey Pyjama Set, £13718 of 38

Skims, Soft Lounge Stretch Jersey Pyjama Set, £137

A fresh set of PJ's is universally known as being a great present for anyone, treat the Mum figure in your life to a little bit of comfort.

mum to be gifts Abrams & Chronicle, Baby Fish, Baby Koala and Baby Kitten Little Finger Puppet Books, from £5.3919 of 38

Abrams & Chronicle, Baby Fish, Baby Koala and Baby Kitten Little Finger Puppet Books, from £5.39

These sweet stories, with embedded finger puppets, are brilliantly interactive and will help hold baby and toddlers' fragile attentions.

mum to be gifts M&S, Hampton Gift Box (Alcohol-Free), £5020 of 38

M&S, Hampton Gift Box (Alcohol-Free), £50

Whilst the babies are showered with gifts, give a little something to Mum. Ideally in the form of an M&S hamper, this one's alcohol free should that be desired but there are plenty of options that include a little bit of bubbly.

mum to be gifts  The Cutest Thing Ever By Amy Ignatow, from £9.2121 of 38

The Cutest Thing Ever By Amy Ignatow, from £9.21

This crazy-cute book runs through a list of all the cutest things imaginable, until the end where the cutest thing in the entire world is revealed – a mirror showing their very own baby's face.

mum to be gifts Sisley Paris, Phyto-Hydra Teint Tinted Moisturiser, WAS £85 NOW £72.2522 of 38

Sisley Paris, Phyto-Hydra Teint Tinted Moisturiser, WAS £85 NOW £72.25

One of the best tinted moisturisers in the biz. Give any new Mum or soon to be Mum the easiest makeup routine ever, ideal for anyone where a make-up routine is wayyy down the priority list.

mum to be gifts The White Company, Panda Boxed Baby Gift Set, £2823 of 38

The White Company, Panda Boxed Baby Gift Set, £28

Keep your baby's tiny head and toes warm with this adorable set from The White Company. Crafted from super-soft cotton, this panda-printed sleep suit and adjustable hat come in a chic gift box that can be used to store little keepsakes in.

mum to be gifts Jojo Maman Bu00e9bu00e9, When I Became Your Granny by Susannah Shane, £12.9924 of 38

Jojo Maman Bébé, When I Became Your Granny by Susannah Shane, £12.99

A charming rhyming book, celebrating days spent with Granny! An ideal gift for any newbie Nana's or newbie Grandchildren. Utterly adorable.

mum to be gifts  Noodoll, Ricesprout, Ricecoli and Ricecrunch Mini Plush Toys, from £16.5025 of 38

Noodoll, Ricesprout, Ricecoli and Ricecrunch Mini Plush Toys, from £16.50

Get them started early on their 'five a day' with these insanely sweet vegetables from Noodoll.

mum to be gifts Les Boys Les Girls, Velour Crew Neck Sweatshirt Claret, £11026 of 38

Les Boys Les Girls, Velour Crew Neck Sweatshirt Claret, £110

Every Mum deserves a little bit of stylish comfort, this Les Boys Les Girls claret tracksuit is the best of both. Wear with trainers and a trench coat for the easiest outfit going.

mum to be gifts Les Boys Les Girls, Velour Loose Fit Track Pants Claret £13527 of 38

Les Boys Les Girls, Velour Loose Fit Track Pants Claret £135

A matching tracksuit will get you swiftly out of any wardrobe dilemma!

mum to be gifts  New Mum And Baby Gift Guide Little Bao Dumpling Light, Firebox 19.9928 of 38

Firebox, Little Bao Dumpling Light, £19.99

'A light up dumpling… Err… WTF?' I hear you cry… Well, this is one cute and useful little guy. Just pop some batteries inside him and he will provide a warm glow at their baby's bedside table at night. Not so mad, after all.

mum to be gifts Foda Box, The New Parent Frozen Meal Box, £8529 of 38

Foda Box, The New Parent Frozen Meal Box, £85

The perfect gift for those first few months of becoming a parent, pop these meals straight in the freezer for emergency (and very delicious) dinners.

mum to be gifts  New Mum And Baby Gift Guide John Lewis & Partners, Albetta Bear Babygro and Crochet Rattle Gift Set, £3630 of 38

John Lewis & Partners, Albetta Bear Babygro and Crochet Rattle Gift Set, £36

This gorgeous gift set contains a chic organic cotton babygro with hand-crochet appliqué animal and matching rattle. We especially love the red stripe with brown bear combo.

mum to be gifts Diptyque, Do Son Eau De Toilette And Hand Cream Set, £8731 of 38

Diptyque, Do Son Eau De Toilette And Hand Cream Set, £87

The ideal duo of limited edition Eau De Toilette and hand cream for little moments of luxury for any Mum. The floral fragrance its said to "heighten the senses and take your imagination on an extraordinary voyage."

mum to be gifts  New Mum And Baby Gift Guide The Sparkling Tea & Truffle Gift Box, Fortnum & Mason32 of 38

Fortnum & Mason, The Sparkling Tea & Truffle Gift Box, £55

Want to treat her to a bottle of bubbly but know she won't be drinking for a while? Look no further than this sparkling tea and truffle set from Fortnum & Mason. We can confirm the tea is delicious and fizzy enough for a celebration and the truffles are a lovely accompaniment.

mum to be gifts Nobody's Child, Long Sleeve PJ Trouser Set, £5933 of 38

Nobody's Child, Long Sleeve PJ Trouser Set, £59

A classic striped PJ set in crisp organic cotton. A gift for the days when putting on real clothes seems just impossible and only pyjamas will do.

mum to be gifts  New Mum And Baby Gift Guide Slip Pure Silk Head Band, Cult Beauty34 of 38

Cult Beauty, Slip Pure Silk Head Band, £69

Stop her being tempted to chop all her hair off into a 'mum do' with this luxe silk hairband from Slip. Not only will it keep her hair off her face and away from grabby little mitts, but will also help protect her new delicate hair growth from breakage. P.S. The brand also makes lovely silk eye masks.

mum to be gifts Anthropologie, Kindred Candle, £2635 of 38

Anthropologie, Kindred Candle, £26

Add a little luxury to any room with a beautiful scented candle, a moment of calm amongst the chaos of Motherhood. Available in a range of colours and scents to suit everyone!

mum to be gifts  New Mum And Baby Gift Guide Smart Stationery Pencil, Jellycat 2436 of 38

Jellycat, Smart Stationery Pencil, £24

We are very impressed by Jellycat's ability to make any object in the entire world, cute. And this adorable HB pencil is a case in (lead) point!

mum to be gifts Bloom & Blossom, Hey Mama  New Mum Gift Set, £2037 of 38

Bloom & Blossom, Hey Mama New Mum Gift Set, £20

This is all about celebrating the new Mums out there, built with all Mums in mind who don't have a moment to themselves but deserve all the treats in the world! Contains relaxing shower oil, microfibre hair-wrap and soothing pillow spray.

mum to be gifts  New Mum And Baby Gift Guide Blue Bass Bass Wooden Grabber Rattle, Smallable 1738 of 38

Smallable, Blue Bass Bass Wooden Grabber Rattle, £17

We are huge fans of these eco-friendly wooden toys. They are the perfect thing to pop in front of a baby or toddler to keep their little minds active and their little hands busy. And we are obsessed with these gorgeous, muted colourways.

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