Why do we, as adults, get our nails done? Historically, it harks back to Ancient China where high society would use lacquer as a way to flex their wealth, but these days it tends to be about wanting to feel more polished (pardon the pun) or as a means of self-expression (that said, the rise of the three figure mani means nails as status symbols seem to be coming full circle).
But what about for our little ones? On the hands of babes surely it’s nothing more than a playful way to get creative with colour? And yet judging by discussions circling around in cyberspace it doesn’t seem quite so cut and dry. While countless celebs have documented trips to the nail salon with their progeny, when Molly Mae recently posted a story on Instagram of her (almost) two year old Bambi having some clear polish applied it immediately sparked a debate. It seems everyone has their own opinion on how young is 'too young' for nail varnish.
As a mum of two boys, I feel like this arbitrary age limit (whatever indeed that is) is not just based on safety (more on that later) but also on ‘appropriateness’. Under the weight of centuries of gender stereotyping, the implications feel different for girls than they do for boys. While my three year old son’s penchant for green nails can be passed off as playful, my friend was met with a disapproving tut from an elderly woman on a bus when her three year old daughter proudly showed off her newly-painted talons. But are we overthinking it?
'As with lots of things we do with our kids that might be questioned, for example exploring make-up, curling hair, or piercing ears, it’s important to consider the meaning you and your child place on this activity,' says psychotherapist,author and speaker Anna Mathur. 'There’s a difference between doing something because it’s a fun, creative expression, and doing it because you want your child to be perceived in a certain way, or you feel it makes them more acceptable to others.
'I have a 5 year old daughter,' Anna continues. 'And I can differentiate her asking me to curl her hair for party because she sees mummy doing that, and it’s nice to have fancy hair for a party, or her desire for me to curl her hair because she feels like she "needs" to, or one "has to make an effort". Only us as parents can determine these nuances! In a similar way, letting your one year old loose on some child-friendly, peel off nail varnish is different to conveying the idea that unpainted nails in their natural form aren’t as pretty or acceptable.'
Mathur notes that whilst the focus is often on age appropriateness, in truth, the most important thing is the parent’s relationship with their child as well as the approach and narrative around activities like ‘doing nails’ and ‘putting make-up on’, as this is what will shape and influence what it means to the child.
'We can foster self-esteem, confidence and self-acceptance in the way we, as adults, talk about and approach nail varnish. Nurturing a sense of self-acceptance regardless as to how nails (or hair, or face) look is a way of showing your child that they are wonderful as they are, in their natural form. If your child hears you say things like "ugh, look at my nails! I need to sort these out", or "no! That picture is awful of me, I haven’t even got my make-up on", strengthens a narrative of "I need to do my nails to feel acceptable". Instead, speaking in terms of "ooh, I feel like having fancy nails today! What colour shall I choose?", strengthens the narrative that doing your nails is a fun, creative expression that you can opt in and out of depending on how you feel and shows them that these things aren’t necessities.'
And when it comes to safety? 'While there’s no universal age limit for nail polish use established by regulatory bodies I would personally recommend that children under five avoid regular nail polish formulations containing solvents, film formers, resins, and plasticizers,' says PharmD, Toxicologist, and Cosmetics Safety Assessor Mohammed Kanadil. 'In typical safety assessments, exposure scenarios such as nail-biting are not taken into account as the assumption is that the end user is an adult who will not ingest these products so for children, I recommend opting for nail polishes specifically formulated for their age group. These water-based formulations, which can be washed off, typically contain only colorants and viscosity controllers, thereby minimising exposure to irritating ingredients. They also eliminate the need for acetone-based removers, which could also irritate or pose risks.'
So as with all things in this crazy ride they call ‘parenting’ it’s ultimately a judgement call that you and only you alone can make (and how staunch you are at batting off pleas for dazzling digits).
Cassie Steer is acting beauty director at Grazia with over 25 years’ experience on women’s glossies.
