Being the perfect birth partner usually involves being kind and supportive, rubbing their back, and offering up reassuring words and your hand to be squeezed. It doesn’t tend to involve telling the midwife you’ll be glad when it’s all over so you can get your wife back, before calling her a “hormonal mess”.
But that’s exactly what the husband of a recent poster on Reddit’s Am I The Asshole did. In the post, which has almost 12,000 views and over 3,000 comments, the 32-year-old woman explains: ‘My husband and me just had our first child today. We were in the delivery room, all was going well, I was in a lot of pain, but he was really supportive. The midwife was asking us questions about the baby, in between contractions just to help me ease my mind a little.’
The woman continued: ‘Then she asked if we are excited about the pregnancy being over and I said yes, because it's been hard for me. My husband snorted and said, "For me too, she was so difficult". [The] midwife tried to change the subject, but I asked my husband what the f he meant by that, and he said that he is happy it's over and he will get his wife back and "the hormonal mess is over".
‘I was so hurt and told him to please just leave the room. He said he's not going anywhere, because his child is being born. I yelled at him to get the f out and he was p********* off, called me an AH for making him miss his kid's birth and stormed off. He hasn't been back to see our daughter, he is supposed to come later today. AITA (Am I the asshole)?’
Commentators were quick to come to the woman’s defence. ‘No. Labour is called labour for a reason - it's hard work and needs concentration and support, not jokes at your expense when you're at your most vulnerable,’ said one.
Another said: ‘My husband is normally a joker and I was counting on some of his silly jokes during delivery to help ease my stress. Turns out my husband was so nervous he hardly said a word. If seeing the delivery is important to someone they will behave. This man the OP [original poster] talks about is the true AH [asshole].’
Or as another poster put it: ‘It wasn't once in a lifetime for me, I did it twice, and I was VERY KIND AND SUPPORTIVE as my wife performed a miracle under great duress. Guess that's why I was invited back for the second kid.’