When Will Playgrounds Reopen? Seriously. Please.

There’s a lot of things we’ve learned about this government since lockdown. One thing we can now add to that list is that they’ve clearly never had to entertain a young child for three months straight. We’ll let you do your own Boris Johnson jokes here.

But seriously, while we have a lot of things we’d like to shout at various cabinet members (and advisors) right now – one has to be: WHEN WILL OUR PLAYGROUNDS REOPEN?

It’s an overdone argument, really to say, ‘Theme parks, shops and garden centres are open, why can’t I [fill in as appropriate]?’ But honestly though, ‘Theme parks, shops and garden centres are open, why can’t I push my child on a swing with one hand so I can enjoy scrolling happily through Instagram with the other?'

‘It’s to do with the touching!’ someone told me. But if you look at everything that’s been reopened in the last week, is there not… quite a lot of touching already going on? And can’t we be trusted to wash our kids' hands, or take a few wipes in our bag?

Lots of children still aren’t back at school, and the enjoyment of a swing or a slide to break up a day is only underestimated by those who’ve never had to count down the hours between naps and bedtime on a slow day. For those who are back in childcare or school, surely even more reason for them to be allowed back to play – surely the risk of a playground is no more than what they’re doing every day already?

The kids are running around the park anyway. Why deprive them of the section that belongs to them – and help us pen them in so we don’t have to KEEP apologising to adults who are just trying to enjoy their wine and delicious M&S picnic snacks in peace.

‘We found a little video on my phone the other day of my son on a swing and he just watched it over and over laughing,’ says Jo. ‘Every time we go to the park he points at the playground and looks at me hopefully.. it's heartbreaking.’

I feel confident that if we just tweeted enough pictures of children staring longingly at slides, the government would change their mind. It’s heartbreaking. And to be honest I’m fed up of making up mad excuses to make my toddler look right, when there’s a playground on the left.

‘There is an amazing playground across the road from our house, and my children peer longingly through the fence of it every day, when we go on our sad little walk around the block,’ says Beth.

‘Looking at pictures of people in shopping centres and hanging out in the park, I feel gaslit that they’re saying my kids can’t be in school, or even go to the bloody playground. This pandemic is hitting kids hardest, and it feels like they’ve been forgotten in the government’s enthusiasm to get people back down the high street and into theme parks.’

Again, the government might not have considered that not all of us have gardens and playgrounds are a vital resource for those of us needing a break from our four walls.

'I have no garden and there’s only so many times I can try and tempt my son to play hop scotch in the park,' says Sarah. 'There’s zero entertainment otherwise. A playground is instant activity and fun and other children to play with and chat to, so the children are happy and stimulated and the parents get a bit of a break. Even if you have gardens, playgrounds are a godsend. Thorpe Park being open and playgrounds not is madness - and proves its all about the economy and not about children’s mental wellbeing.'

It’s an easy win. Surely. Let us back into our playgrounds. Or look, we’ll just drop our tantrumming toddler off at Downing Street. Whichever is easiest.

READ MORE: Can Grandparents Provide Childcare If They’re Under 70 And Healthy?

READ MORE: The Government Is Putting Theme Parks And Pubs Ahead Of Our Children’s Education – And The Mental Wellbeing Of Parents