Gwyneth Paltrow played a birthday blinder yesterday, by posing nude in her 'birthday suit' (geddit?) to celebrate her 48th - and also promote a body butter sold by her company, GOOP.
The internet and papers are today awash with the picture, unsurprisingly - Gwyneth looks incredible. So too, are they full of info about the Body Butter she mentions (you can find out more here), because who doesn't want to look like that and smell like that - is it me, or can you tell it smells great from that picture?
So, well done Gwyneth, you have aced Advanced Influencer Marketing 101.
A lot of thoughts probably occurred to people as they looked at that picture. And my primary one was: 'Right, enough now, it's time that Anthea Turner got some justice.'
If you're in your mid-30s or older, you might already know where I'm going here, but in case you don't... in August 2000, Anthea Turner married Grant Bovey and sold the pictures to OK! magazine.
But there was a NATIONAL OUTCRY (I'm not kidding here) when the magazine released a picture ahead of the publication of Anthea and Grant eating a Cadbury's Snowflake bar.
Reports say the couple were paid between £250,000 and £300,000 for the exclusive rights to the wedding and to promote it, the mag released a picture of them eating the chocolate bar to the press, with the caption: 'ANTHEA TURNER AND GRANT BOVEY exclusive OK! wedding photograph, enjoying Cadbury's new Snowflake. For the complete wedding coverage and a free Cadburys Snowflake, buy OK! magazine this weekend.'
The Sun newspaper ran a whole critical piece about the picture on its FRONT PAGE the next day. The headline read: 'Sickener. Anthea's wedding photo is so, so sad'. (20 years before the Trump 'Sad!') The piece branded them 'greedy newlyweds'.
Anthea's career was really terribly affected and all that would be bad enough... aside from the fact Anthea has always said they had no idea that they were being used to promote a freebie chocolate bar.
Speaking on Celebrity Big Brother, the presenter told Jack Dee (I know, a more 2001 sentence, you cannot imagine): 'Someone from OK! asked if they could bring the chocolate along and we had a sweet stall at the wedding with jelly babies and things so we said yes, put them on there," said Ms Turner.
'Then at 1.30am, someone asked us to taste one.' She added: 'We didn't have copy approval of the picture OK! released to the press. Grant and I just assumed they would pick a nice photo.'
READ MORE: Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals The Body Butter That Gave Her The Confidence For Her Naked Instagram Shot
It probably seems absolutely bizarre now to our Instagram-addled brains that this happened. But it DID. And it was BAD. Trust me. Like, if the government was held up to the kind of scrutiny Anthea was given over the Snowflake episode, who knows where we'd be right now.
20 years on, what happened to Anthea is par for the course. Celebs are ALWAYS flogging SOMETHING, hiding a little #AD in the dark bit in the corner of their instagrams. Doing interviews seemingly about nothing, but managing to squeeze in a few mentions of the dog food they're promoting. Appearing on covers, dressed in clothes they're contracted to model. Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra apparently earned thousands just in the run up to their wedding, with sponcon. It's all entirely unremarkable, and seen as part of the game.
We live in a world where it's normal to refer to ourselves having BRANDS, as well as, er... personalities? careers? Where celebrities and influencers are always in a perpetual motion to create a platform and an image that can be sold off of.
READ MORE: This Is How Much Priyanka Chopra And Nick Jonas Made From Their Wedding #Spon
Actually, had Snowflake-gate happened in 2020, Anthea and her team (because there's always a team) would've probably stepped in the second a branded product was within metres of a shot, questioning what was going on, or whether it was ok - or at least worth some extra money (Anthea says they received no money for the promotion of Snowflakes).
Instead, Anthea became front page news and was hounded, who knows what trajectory her career could've taken had Snowflake-gate not happened? She was kind of a big deal... as the six-figure reported payment for her wedding photos attests.
So, if we're going to turn a blind eye and a knowing eye-roll to Gwyneth using her birthday and a naked instagram to promote a body butter, then - 20 years on - it's also time for justice for Anthea Turner, the OG (but unintentional) influencer.
Snacks That Have Been Discontinued And We'd Love To Eat Right Now
1 of 24Hubba Bubba Bubble Jug
Because why eat gum, when you can kind of drink chew it type of thing?
2 of 24Cartoonies
You KNEW it was gonna be a good day when there were some Cartoonies in your lunch box.
3 of 24Cadbury's Astros
Right, now I've remembered THESE exist, I'm going to make one of those petitions. Smarties type shell, Cadbury chocolate and biscuit in the middle. Feel like pure shit, just want her back x.
4 of 24Panda Pops
A teacher in primary school used to give us traffic light lollies and a Panda Pop every Wednesday afternoon. Probably not allowed that now, is it? The little bottles of sweet sweet pop were axed in 2011 after 35 years in business.
5 of 24Smiths Crispy Tubes
Now I've seen these and tasted them in my memory, I'm actually furious. Thanks.
6 of 24Sun Lolly
Because triangular ice lollies are the best. Don't fight us.
7 of 24Vice Versas
Ok, this is when white chocolate comes into its own. Basically Minstrels, but white chocolate in dark case and dark chocolate in white case. Delicious. First produced in the UK in 1991, then re-launched in 2004, only to be withdrawn a year later. A rollercoaster of emotions I'm sure you'll agree.
8 of 24Salt and Vinegar Crunchies
Big fan contributing editor Jessica Barrett says, 'They sold these at my school for 10p a bag' which sounds like BLISS.
9 of 24Fake candy cigarettes
Now very much illegal. Problematic? Yes. Delicious? Sorry yes. Can we just have some candy vapes please? Or these ones, available on Amazon as 'Candy Sticks'.
10 of 24Piglets
Assistant editor Charlotte Williamson says: 'Pig-shaped, pig-flavoured crisps called Piglets that we made into pig crisp sandwiches. I can't imagine they exist anywhere now but they should.'
11 of 24Brannigans Crisps
We're remembering, specifically, the mustard ones that made your nose burn. Fond memories. Which it seems you can re-enact by buying them still.
12 of 24Burton’s Potato Puffs
If you know, you know. I can taste these little puffy pastry potato-y things right now – and there are a million campaigns on Facebook calling for them to come back.
13 of 24Mini Cheddars Crinklys
These were AMAZING and we don't understand what happened. That's all we can say.
14 of 24Mars Delight
Only four years in our lives – and yet still strong in the internet's memories (there was a petition to bring them back). The 'lighter' and (massively offensively) branded as a more female Mars bar, the Delight lived from 2004 til 2008. We'd love to tell you what was in it, but we've always just been MAN ENOUGH to eat a normal one… Apparently it had some wafer in.
15 of 24Flyte
'Taste the chocolate, skip some fat' says the label. Which is probably why this one went out of business tbh.
16 of 24Cadbury Spira
We can't say we'd massively been missing this one, but now we're LOOKING at it, we're very, very keen to give it a try. Which is annoying.
17 of 24Trio
Or should we say, TRIIIIIIOOOOOO! Toffee, chocolate, biscuit – what's not to like? Actually, you all seem to think so, because you can still buy them.
18 of 24Cadbury Fuse
The launch of the Fuse bar in 1996 was such a big deal that Cadbury even renamed launch day 'Fuseday' in its honour – apparently 40 million were sold in the first week. And with a load of nuts, cereal, raisins and fudge rammed inside chocolate, we can see why.
19 of 24Cadbury Dream
So, basically, this was just white chocolate. And, ok, I'm nailing personal preference to this gallery, but I just don't get white chocolate. But people who like white chocolate are like people who like gin – they have to talk about it all the time. So the internet STILL talks about Dream bars. Even though, after being brought out in 2002, they were discontinued a few years later because of poor sales. Which makes my point, really.
20 of 24Cadbury Snow Flake
There was a MASSIVE outcry when Anthea Turner posed with one of these at her wedding to Grant Bovey and given the way today's world spins on #Ads, is kind of hilarious. Anyway, the bar itself was a white chocolate flake wrapped in milk chocolate, which is not, let's face it, the most interesting thing everyone remembers.
21 of 24Rowntree’s Secret
Great advertising line: 'You can't trust anyone to keep a Secret'. The bar itself though, apparently not as good…
22 of 24Milkybar Choo
See, what did I tell you about white chololate people. There's a PETITION to bring this one back. Chewy fudge, covered with white chocolate.
23 of 24Cadbury Marble
Celebrity director Guy Pewsey pens this love letter to the Marble: 'In the early noughties, Cadbury launched Marble. A swirled mix of milk and white chocolate, biting into it unearthed a velvety praline centre. It was delicious, and just felt a bit more elegant than the standard chocolate bar. Alas, they didn't last, and were discontinued several years ago.I truly think about them all the time. More expensive praline chocolate bars don't hit the spot in the same way. They were a real treat and I'd love to have them back. Word on the street is that Australia is reviving the bar after a popular campaign to bring them back. But there are no such plans in the UK. Can I call that a form of localised discrimination and take it to the high court?'
24 of 24Toffo
Individually wrapped toffees (so there'd be no lying to your mum about how many you'd scoffed) in a signature red tube. You could also buy them in various flavours – yuck, sorry. You can't buy them anywhere now. And we've tried.