Goblin Mode: Does It Have To Be A Dirty Secret That Women Don’t Wear Makeup And Heels At Home?

'I’d hazard a guess that the man sitting in stained tracksuit bottoms with his hand in his pants wouldn’t consider himself a goblin...'

Goblin mode

by Marianna Manson |

Goblin Mode has been doing the rounds on social media and loads of people have been googling what, exactly, it is.

There’s plenty of takeaways on the internet. The i says It’s ‘The day where you’re wearing tracksuit bottoms, a pair of pants you’ve owned since 2009, your hair scraped back in a bun and skin covered with a thin layer of invisible but very real grime.’

The Hustle describes it as ‘full-on rejection of self-betterment’ and ‘is all about embracing your inner slob, and relishing in socially unacceptable behavior.’

In short – Goblin Mode is the state of being one is usually in when they’re in their own home, unobserved by polite company. I’m certainly not in the habit of putting on skinny jeans just to sit in my flat, and honestly, neither should you be.

Why do we need a funny word to excuse just being comfortable at home? Dressing in work-appropriate clothes for the office and styling hair that was most likely to get rained on was an arduous part of the Before Times and I for one have relished the chance not to do it for days at a time. Does it really have to be some kind of dirty secret that women don’t wear make up and heels home alone?

As for other definitions, which range from eating in bed to scrolling Instagram while not watching the ‘IQ eroding’ reality series playing on your TV – that, my friend, is called a weekend. How many of us can say we’ve lost the skill of following a TV show without being compulsively drawn to checking social media every few seconds? Breakfast in bed used to be considered a LUXURY – now that I’m sharing my bed with the crumbs of two week’s worth of toast, that suddenly makes me a goblin? I’m not having it.

Goblin Mode has been adopted by the zeitgeist to justify the version of ourselves unfit for public consumption and for women especially, that version often involves time and money spent preening and the perpetual self-scrutiny of everything from our body language to the way our hair looks that comes with being primarily a decorative ornament. I’d hazard a guess that the man sitting in stained tracksuit bottoms with his hand in his pants wouldn’t consider himself a goblin, or feel the need to give this version of himself a cutesy, funny name. Haha, isn’t it FUNNY that I haven’t put on a bra for two days? Gosh I am SO GROSS because I just ate a tin of cold beans out of the can (in bed).

What I do in my own home is my business and I don’t need to excuse my slobbish behavior to myself or anyone else, thank you.

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