Around this time six years ago, I was in Paris with my then-boyfriend. Like Brooklyn Beckham and his new fiancé Nicola Peltz, aged 21 and 25 respectively, we were planning to get engaged after nine months together at the slightly younger age of 19. Unlike them, we never went through with it. I can't explain how grateful I am that it never happened, because let's just say, our lifestyles aren't exactly within the same wealth bracket.
Confirming the news on Saturday, Beckham posted on Instagram that he had asked his ‘soulmate’ to marry him, adding ‘I promise to be the best husband and best daddy one day.’ The announcement has been met with both support from their celebrity friends and scepticism from the general public. ‘Engaged at 21?’, they ask bewildered. ‘What must David and Victoria think?’
David and Victoria, in fact, are fully on board with the impending nuptials, both sharing their own Instagram posts of the couple. And actually, when you really think about it, there’s no reason not to be. They’re very young, yes, but they’re also both incredibly wealthy. They are able to hit the life goals aged 21 and 25 that most of us couldn’t fathom until our mid 30s, if that. While us humdrums switch focus from marriage and kids to making a comfortable living and establishing careers, for young people born into wealth, what else do they have to do except get married and start families?
Getting married young doesn’t impede their life in any way, they have the time, resources and the privilege to do it all…including get divorced if need be. For the rest of us, coming home to our parents aged 21, engaged after nine months, would likely mean one enormously awkward conversation that resulted in eyebrows raised and endless family drama.
At least I knew it would for me when I almost got engaged, and it’s the main reason I decided not to. I had started dating my then-boyfriend in University, he was my first love and we were - looking back - unhealthily obsessed with each other from the start. We started talking about getting married after a few months of dating, and by the nine-month mark he’d bought the ring.
He planned to propose on a two-week trip to Paris, and I was well aware, waiting patiently every night to see if he would do it. One night, he turned to me in bed looking sheepish and asked me the question that would define the rest of my life. It wasn’t what you think.
‘Do you think we should actually get engaged?’ he asked. ‘We’ve not stopped arguing since we got here.’ I sighed in relief and shook my head, agreeing ‘it’s not the right time, is it?’. He turned back over and I cried silently next to him. I knew it was the right decision, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t distraught about it. I'd played the proposal out in my head time and time again. Logic told me it wasn't right, love told me something very different.
Had he asked me, I would’ve said yes.
Looking back, I couldn’t be more grateful that one of us had seen sense. Because had he asked me, I would’ve said yes. I would’ve called my parents, my sisters and friends, all of whom I know would’ve started a 10-step plan to get me to stop being such a raging idiot. We were arguing all the time, which I naively thought was a sign we were just passionately in love. We had no money, not enough to get married and nowhere near enough to get divorced if need be. Plus, we seemingly had no sense, as we were almost willing to blindly entering into a legal arrangement that takes boundless compromise and sacrifice to make work.
Now, I’m not saying getting engaged young never works. Of course, for some people it works out. But for me, I was so blinded by the all-encompassing feeling of being in love for the first time, that I assumed that meant it was forever. Back then, I couldn’t imagine my life without him – getting married seemed as obvious as breathing.
But two years later, I was forced to. We broke up at the end of university like the absolute clichés we were, the unhealthy obsession we had with each other finally pushing me to breaking point. After three years of arguments, co-dependency and no real understanding of emotional immaturity, we had to admit defeat.
Because that’s the thing about first loves isn’t it? You feel every emotion and attachment so deeply, to the point you couldn’t have a healthy relationship if you tried. You might feel that love more intensely than you ever will again - as Drake would have us believe - but that doesn't mean it's a relationship set to last. Quite the opposite, in my case.
Looking back, the thought of going through that emotional turmoil, during and after the relationship ended, while also trying to arrange a legal separation makes my head spin. It was bad enough we shared a flat together, never mind if we had to attend court hearings and pay legal fees on top of our student debt. Adding potentially six months of baggage to the already unbelievable pain of losing a first love? Absolutely not.
For [Beckham](http://Is Brooklyn Beckham The Most OTT Boyfriend On Instagram?) and Peltz, it doesn’t seem this is either of their first experiences of love – which is perhaps why both their parents are so on board. And unlike my ex and I, a separation wouldn’t break the bank (not when there are clever lawyers, with tightly-written pre nups keeping an eye on things, anyway). Perhaps when you can get married without any of those risks, it doesn’t seem so scary at all. But all I know is even six years on, aged 25 with a career and – oh wait, I still have student debt – the idea of marriage seems scarier than ever. In fact, I don’t see myself wanting to legally tie myself to someone else at all anymore. Oh if 19-year-old me could see me now…
Read More:
Brooklyn Beckham And Nicola Peltz Are A Walking Teen Romance, Beanies And All
[Is Brooklyn Beckham The Most OTT Boyfriend On Instagram?](http://Is Brooklyn Beckham The Most OTT Boyfriend On Instagram?)