This morning, Joss Whedon was a breakout search term on Google. Specifically, the question ‘Who did Joss Whedon have an affair with on Buffy?’ was trending. The American filmmaker was profiled by Vulture following allegations of workplace harassment coming to light last year, under the headline ‘The Undoing of Joss Whedon’.
Once famed for his supposed passion for feminism that showed throughout his work, his unravelling began in 2017 when Kai Cole, who was married to Whedon for 21 years, published a personal essay where she revealed him to be ‘hypocrite preaching feminist ideals’. She accused him of having multiple affairs, notably on the set of Buffy, and said he used their marriage ‘as a shield’ for his misuse of power.
In the years since, numerous actors have spoken out against Whedon. Ray Fisher accused him of ‘gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable’ behaviour towards the cast and crew – supported by Jason Mamoa. Gal Gadot said he ‘threatened’ to make her ‘career miserable’ during filming for Wonder Woman. Three actors from Buffy also alleged he created a ‘toxic work environment’ and ‘abused his power on numerous occasions’. Michelle Trachtenberg, who was just 15 when she appeared on Buffy, claims there was a rule forbidding Whedon from being alone with her on set.
Joss responds to all of these allegations in his interview with Vulture – which you can read here. ‘I think I’m one of the nicer showrunners that’s ever been’, he says. He denies calling Charisma Carpenter 'fat' but says he was 'not mannerly' after learning she was pregnant. He also denies threatening Gadot, stating she misunderstood. ‘English is not her first language, and I tend to be annoyingly flowery in my speech,’ he said. ‘I understood perfectly,’ Gadot told New York in an email.
When it comes to his ‘affairs’ on Buffy, he admits to sleeping with ‘employees, fans, and colleagues’. ‘I feel fucking terrible about them,’ he said. Why? Because ‘it messes up the power dynamic.’ What follows will make you squeamish, so grit your teeth.
According to Vulture, Whedon felt he ‘had to’ sleep with the beautiful young women he was surrounded by because he feared he would ‘always regret it’ if he didn’t, since they were the type of women that would have ignored him when he was young. In fact, he uses the word ‘powerless’, unironically. When writer Lila Shapiro laughed at that qualification, he said ‘I’m not actually joking.’
The women Whedon said to have had affairs with are not named in the piece, nor have they ever been publicly, but they are described as ‘young actresses’ by everyone involved. It’s no wonder everyone is Googling who Joss Whedon had affairs with on Buffy then. But our question is different, and slightly more philosophical: should we be clarifying these as ‘affairs’?
We must question how these relationships are being framed versus the sinister nature they’re described.
It might just be me, but reading the way in which these sexual relationships are described does not invoke an image of an ‘affair’. The word affair implies there are two enthusiastic adults getting carried away with a sexual relationship outside of one of their marriages. That may well be what happened with Whedon, but that’s not how the situation reads.
By his own admission, Whedon had sexual relationships with employees, fans and colleagues, notably young actresses, that he acknowledges created an unhealthy power dynamic. A beloved filmmaker with the power to make or break careers sleeping with the young women he employs? That doesn’t read like an affair to me, it reads like an abuse of power.
Let me be clear, Whedon has not been accused of sexual abuse or harassment – nor am I accusing him of such. But what we must question is how these relationships are being framed in pop culture, versus the sinister nature that they’re actually described. Is ‘affair’ the right word? Or is there a way to describe these interactions that – while acknowledging they were consensual – better depicts the abuse of power present?
Ultimately, it’s up to the women involved to decide. They’re the ones processing this time in their lives, coming to decisions about what was right or wrong about the way those relationships developed. It’s not for anyone else to assume victimhood on their behalf, but it’s also not for us to dismiss or diminish their experience should they be uncomfortable with this characterisation. ‘The Undoing of Joss Whedon’ might not be over yet.
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We Should Still Celebrate The Women That Made Buffy So Great Despite The Joss Whedon Allegations