It feels like only yesterday we were moaning about jam-packed diaries and how many weddings we had this summer. As invitations dropped onto our doormat, we'd sigh at how busy we were and how long it would take us to get to the venues. Oh to think back to those halcyon days, when our social lives were so full we barely noticed how hideously ungrateful we were being. It’s a far cry from where we are now: entering the disheartening era of the disinvitation.
A 2020 wedding disinvitation is where you find yourself knocked off the revised, pandemic-friendly, newly-compact guest list altogether, because, well, sorry pal, you’re not a blood relative and you didn’t go to nursery, school and university with the bride either. Count yourself lucky if you haven’t heard of the phenomenon... yet. But that’s not to say you don’t have a disinvitation hurtling its way through the post to you right now. Guests may well see this happening as brides and grooms-to-be take heed of the government’s new wedding guidance.
The good news is that this week it was announced from 4 July weddings will be allowed. Now for the bad news: no more than 30 guests are permitted at the ceremonies and receptions are very much frowned upon. On top of this, people should socially distance and only small celebrations – with groups of up to two households indoors, or up to six people from different households outdoors – will be allowed.
Many couples who had planned to marry this summer have decided to postpone their weddings altogether; the majority are waiting for a time when they can celebrate without worrying their great aunt is going to drop dead two weeks later having contracted the virus. But for those who want to marry as soon as they legally can (apparently some people aren’t just doing it for the party!), this week’s news is likely as promising as it’s going to get for nuptials in 2020.
A wedding disinvitation is where you find yourself knocked off the revised, pandemic-friendly guest list altogether because, well, sorry pal, you’re not a blood relative and you didn’t go to nursery, school and university with the bride either.
My first disinvitation arrived this week and it stung, even though I completely understand my friend’s decision. She was meant to marry in August with a 120 people present, but has spent the past few months assuming it wasn’t going to happen. These new rules, however, mean the marriage can take place after all, albeit with a much smaller guest list - they’re only having family, bridesmaids and the best man. They want to be married before they have a baby and don’t want to wait indefinitely before trying to start a family.
It makes a lot of sense, but even so, I can’t help but feel disappointed at the thought that my friends and I will no longer get to share her special day with her. We've known her for years and were so excited to watch her marry the guy she excitedly told us all about after meeting him in her first term at university.
Jessica*, 33, feels the same: ‘My friend told me yesterday she and her fiancé have decided to get married this year after all, but with no one there. I felt shocked and sad when she told me. Even her family won't be able to be there. She was meant to have 100 people at a wedding in Italy in July, but they’re living in Australia at the moment and they’re going to get married on a beach there now, just them, and call off Italy altogether.'
Jessica feels heartbroken about not getting to be there on her friend’s big day anymore. ‘She’s very close to me so I feel quite upset by it,’ she adds. ‘I understand though. It’s no one’s fault, obviously, and it's not about me anyway.’
Watching a friend walk down the aisle is an irreplaceable experience and we all know how special it feels to be there. But then again, this pandemic has already robbed us of so much, if some people are able to celebrate their milestones now, that can only be a good thing.
The rest of us should be happy for our friends, request a livestream on the day and be grateful we haven't had the unenviable task of whittling down a 150-guest list to 30. If anything, this’ll teach us for moaning about having too many weddings to go to.
READ MORE: The Reality Of Postponing A Wedding During A Pandemic
READ MORE: What Are The Biggest Wedding Trends Going To Be For 2020?