Victoria Derbyshire has apologised after admitting she intended to ignore lockdown rules at Christmas by spending it with her family of seven, thereby breaking the rule of six in the tier one area where she lives.
Speaking to the Radio Times a few weeks ago, she was asked how she would spend Christmas Day if the rule of six is still in place. With her mum, her mum’s partner and father in law spending it with her family of four, she would be just one over the rule banning gatherings of more than six people indoors – in any tier.
Telling them she would be ‘sensible’ but ‘we have to be together at Christmas’, she faced criticism for admitting to breaking the rules, making the front page of The Guardian and The Telegraph for her remarks.
‘I'm starting the day by saying I'm sorry,’ Derbyshire tweeted this morning. ‘A few weeks ago the Radio Times asked me (amongst other things) what would potentially happen at Christmas with my own family if the rule of six was still in place. I talked about my mum, her partner and my dad-in-law spending it with us - making seven in our home in a Tier One area (medium). It was hypothetical - however I was totally wrong to say it and I'm sorry.’
With hundreds of replies, her apology has divided opinion as much as her original comments. Because, while some support her in their own desires to see family this Christmas, others who weren’t able to celebrate their religious holidays as a family or haven’t seen loved since March are disappointed.
‘Sadly I think it’s too late,’ one follower replied. ‘I really wish you’d thought about the consequences of what you’re saying. If restrictions are in place I won’t see my family in Scotland. It breaks my heart. My Dad has turned 70 and I haven’t seen my sister since March. I know people will break the rules, but it’s not okay. Reading others comments about how they’re having celebrations regardless have me tears. This is all so hard and comments from a public figure like yourself make it so much worse.’
‘Thank you for apologising,’ another said. ‘People of other faiths have already had strict lockdowns imposed during their celebrations, there should be no exceptions for Christianity. Everyone's finding it hard.’
Others however, are adamant that she shouldn’t need to apologise at all. ‘Oh Victoria, it shouldn't come to this. You should be spending Christmas with all your loved ones and make no apologies for it,’ one follower replied.
Ultimately, it seems that how someone intends to spend Christmas is the new decider of moral righteousness. But it’s entirely more complex that simply ‘you’re a bad person if you do this’, according to the women we spoke to at least.
My mental health would spiral again if I spent Christmas alone.
‘I was so devout about staying at home at all costs for the first six months of lockdown, even when the rules changed and we were allowed to see people, I felt too guilty about the risks,’ says Lily*, who lives in London. ‘But at the same time, my mental illness symptoms got so bad I wasn’t sure how I’d cope, I even thought about committing myself [to a mental health institution] at one point because it felt so desperate.
‘I started seeing my family and friends after much persuasion by them and it’s amazing to me just how much of a difference that’s made to my mental health. My symptoms are manageable again, so the risk of returning to how I was should I stop having these regular family visits is terrifying. That’s why I’m spending Christmas with my family, regardless of the rules, I know it’s been hard for everyone but being able to spend Christmas alone and only feel a bit sad, versus feeling like you’ve lost all grip on reality, is kind of a luxury in my opinion.’
Lily says she’ll be managing her risk as she always has, self-isolating before seeing her family and social distancing when she’s around them as usual. The same goes for Emma*, who also lives in London and is planning to spend Christmas with her in-laws. For her though, the justification is knowing that most other people in her family will also break the rules despite her efforts to convince them otherwise.
'I've weakly mentioned to my family that unless London changes tiers before Christmas, we'll have to spend it apart, but everyone has basically ignored me and continued making plans, and at this point I feel like i'm going to join them and start trying to look forward to it,’ she says. ‘The other option, being miserable till the end of the year and beyond, isn't very appealing. We're hardly going anywhere these days, and it feels like we know so much more about Coronavirus now than we did in March, so I feel like as long as we're sensible and do all the right things, the level of risk is one I can live with.'
Most people will break the rules, but trying to do it as safely as possible to protect the people around them.
That’s the exact situation Melissa*, 33, from Essex, has found herself in. And she too feels that as long as she manages her risk, seeing her loved ones at Christmas isn’t necessarily irresponsible.
‘It's so hard when you hear about people breaking the rules, meeting outside pubs then fibbing and saying they live in the household, and to then be like, "Ok, I'm going to take the moral high ground and not see my mum"’ she explains. ‘I know that's what I should do, but I also know it's not what other people will do. If I know people breaking the rules now, no way are they going to miss Christmas with their family. If we remain in tier two, the only way to do it would be to meet in a park. People aren't going to do that. I think the “rule of six” is fair enough, so I could imagine doing something small but we would still be mixing households.’
For Juliet*, 31, who lives in Leeds, spending Christmas as a family has never even been in question.
‘For the past month I've been talking as if I'll definitely be home for Christmas with my family,’ she says. ‘I've kind of forgotten about the fact it's not allowed because I've already decided I'll just self-isolate for 14 days before I go to protect my parents. I won’t get on public transport either. I reckon most people will be breaking the rules, but trying to find a way to do it as safely as possible to protect the people around them. If I can't end up going home, then the other option is having Christmas day with 4 of my best friends, which would make six of us altogether, but from three different households, so one way or another I imagine my Christmas is going to be a bit illegal.’
It seems then that Victoria Derbyshire isn’t the only one hypothesising Christmas as a family, so perhaps she shouldn’t be the scapegoat for reflecting the public mood of many.
*names have been changed
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