This morning, Vanessa Bryant made her first public statement following the death of her husband Kobe and daughter Gianna last Sunday. Posting a tribute on Instagram, she thanked, ‘The millions of people who’ve shown support and love during this horrific time’ and announced a fund to help support the other families affected by the tragic helicopter crash.
While her words were beautiful, some commentators have concerns about her posting a public statement at all. ‘Vanessa Bryant didn’t owe the world a damn thing or explanation. She’s unbelievably strong for posting that,’ one Twitter user stated, receiving nearly 125,000 likes.
It’s a popular response to the coverage about Vanessa following the death of her husband and daughter. Almost immediately after the news was announced, publications started documenting her grief in uncomfortable detail.
The New York Post headlined one article ‘Kobe Bryant's wife Vanessa "can't finish a sentence without crying"' – a quote that was then picked up by the Daily Mail, BET, The Mirror and many more. ‘I promise we don’t need updates on her grieving process,’ one Twitter user replied to the headline, receiving nearly 800,000 likes.
And of course, as soon as Vanessa posted her tribute, the internet saw headlines like, ‘Vanessa Bryant breaks her silence three days after the death of Kobe and Gianna’ and ‘Kobe Bryant’s widow breaks her silence. See what she wrote’. The turn of phrase ‘breaks her silence’ is baffling in itself, as if we have an expectation that she would not deal with her grief privately.
It’s not just the traditional media, either. Social media users have been called out for their reaction to her pain, too. One Twitter user posted a picture of the couple next to a picture of late rapper Nipsey Hussle and partner Lauren London. ‘We need to talk about y'all fetishizing women’s pain in losing their partners in tragic ways,’ one woman replied – with over 60,000 likes.
A lot of the problem is social media itself. When we first starting using it, having instant and easy access to others – including celebrities – felt revolutionary. But that accessibility has seemingly translated into an expectation of total access, so much so that even in times of grief and darkness there is a desire to know every aspect of someone’s life and mind. It’s natural, of course, that people want to know how the Bryant family is coping through this. But the way social media has facilitated this desire, allowing an invasive obsession - at such an unimaginably painful time - feels uncomfortable.
Reporting on every tear Vanessa sheds, expecting any sort of public statement from her or her family – it all needs to stop. Just because the Bryant family are public figures doesn’t mean their grief has to be.
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