Apparently, Masturbation Is The Ultimate Self Care Activity For Most Brits… But We’re All Still Lying About It

Guys, it’s time to get real. All of this ‘self-care’ talk about face masks, hot baths and scented candles – they’ve all just been euphemisms, haven’t they? When your friend cancels your hastily made weeknight plans because she ‘just needs a self-care night’, she’s not going home for a bath and early night – she’s charging up her vibrator, signing into her Erika Lust account and masturbating until the fear of early-onset arthritis forces her to stop.

That’s essentially what the findings of TENGA’s 2019 Self-Pleasure Report prove, at least. In a new survey by the sexual wellness company, 64% of Brits use masturbation as a form of self-care – with it ranking higher than listening to music, taking a hot shower or bath and just under sleeping.

With 52% of Brits claiming that masturbation improves their wellbeing, the positive effects range from improving brain function and energy to increasing productivity levels, self-confidence and boosting their mood. In fact, 81% of people who say masturbation has a positive effect across their life say it improves their relationship or marriage.

It’s unsurprising really, given that masturbation is the cheapest, most accessible and most tangibly rewarding form of self-care. However, what is surprising is that many still lie about masturbating – with men actually hiding it more than women. The report states that 38% of men and 34% of women have lied about masturbating, with 37% of all Brits never talking about it with their partner.

‘People tend to shy away from talking about masturbation because of old stigmas around it, but it’s a completely normal part of personal wellness that we should talk about more,’ says Alix Fox, sex expert and TENGA brand ambassador, ‘experiencing pleasure through masturbation is one of the best ways to practice self-care because of all of the physical and mental benefits we gain from it.’

In fact, near one third of women in the survey say that masturbating is more pleasurable than partnered sex – with near half feeling pressure to both perform and be pleased during sex. And men aren’t too far behind, with 21% preferring masturbation as over half experience sexual performance anxiety (unsurprisingly, only 30% of men feel pressure to be pleased during sex).

Ultimately, it shows that despite most of us masturbating regularly it’s still treated as a taboo. And with today’s news about relationship and sex education (RSE) classes being protested outside schools, it’s no surprise where that stigma comes from.

According to the BBC{ =nofollow}, leaflets were handed around east London this week from The School Gate Campaign – which opposes RSE on the basis they would ‘promote transgenderism and homosexual lifestyles’ – that told parents they will ‘be questioned on the day of judgement’ if they do not challenge the lessons.

The leaflets, which have been condemned by Labour councilor Rohit Dasgupta as spreading ‘misinformation’ claim that RSE will encourage infants to masturbate and introduce the word to juniors.

‘Children in Infant School will be encouraged to masturbate,’ the leaflet given to the BBC reads, ‘The RSE curriculum is ill-advised, confusing and unhelpful. It will prematurely sexualize children. It is far too much, too young.’

Relationship education will be compulsory in primary schools from September next year, with sex education introduced into RSE lessons at secondary school level. While the government has provided a framework of ideas – such as teaching about single parents, adoption and LGBT+ relationships – individual schools will decide what is ‘age appropriate’. Only one local authority in England is thought to be introducing words like masturbation into draft teaching guidelines.

If the protests weren’t so harrowing, they would be comical really, given that most toddlers are already masturbating before they begin infant school – often doing it openly until ages 5 or 6 when they begin to understand it’s a private activity.

‘Occasional masturbation is a normal behavior of many toddlers and preschoolers,’ the US group of medical experts states, ‘up to a third of children in this age group discover masturbation while exploring their bodies.’

In fact, Summit Medical Group has stated that masturbation becomes universal at puberty, which for girls typically begins at age 10 – while they’re still in primary school. And actually, it’s reactions like those of the protesting parents that cause emotional distress to children.

‘It is not abnormal or excessive unless it is deliberately done in public places after age 5 or 6,’ they continue, ‘It does not mean your child will be oversexed, promiscuous, or sexually deviant. Only if adults overreact to a child's masturbation and make it seem dirty or wicked will it cause emotional harm, such as guilt and sexual hang ups.’

With TENGA’s Self-Pleasure report proving just how much stigma is still attached to masturbation, it’s clearer than ever than RSE is a necessity in schools. If grown adults are still lying about doing it, there is clearly a big problem to be solved – and that starts with eradicating the shame around masturbation and sex from the very beginning of our lives.

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