As Prick Advisor Hits The Headlines Again, We Ask… Why Are We Still Surprised That Women Are Forced To Seek Justice On Social Media?

Surely, it can’t still be shocking that women failed by the criminal justice system turn to these groups, writes Georgia Aspinall.

Updated on22nd August 2019 at 5.30pm

‘Ladies, this is my ex-boyfriend. He’s emotionally, physically and financially abusive,’ a typical post on Prick Advisor begins – before descending into a painfully detailed account of a past relationship.

Prick Advisor was a Facebook group for women, where members – once amounting to 100,000 – can share stories of horrific men they have encountered. The popularity of the original group, which was taken down by Facebook this afternoon, has led to many other regional versions being created.

Hitting the news again this morning after one user shared her experience in the group with BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme, Prick Advisor groups are typically very exclusive. Strict rules prevent users from revealing too much information about whomever they’re posting. There are also warnings against harassing the men spoken about and users are asked not to post if there are court proceedings attached to any incidents shared.

Such caution is understandable – because Prick Advisor isn’t just a platform for women to complain about shitty men who have ghosted them, it’s a warning to women everywhere. While advising and comforting users is part and parcel of the group – where women will share everything from stories of their cheating ex to incidents of physical or emotional abuse, including rape and child abuse – its primary intention is to prevent other women from becoming victim to the same abuse.

‘But surely’, many love to comment upon hearing about the group, ‘the women would have gone to the police and sought traditional justice to protect others from said man?’ And to this we can only unfortunately say: get real.

Rape convictions are less likely than they were a decade ago. In fact, according to figures published by the Home Office, the rate of rape allegations ending in a charge or summons fell to one in 65 across England and Wales in 2018/19.

In family courts, women are failed every day after suffering abusive relationships. In fact, Women’s Aid revealed in 2016 that 19 children and two women had been killed between 2005 and 2015 following court decisions that granted men known to be violent contact with the family.

‘Women are discriminated against in the criminal justice system,’ Harriet Wistrich, co-founder of the Centre for Women’s Justice, told Grazia earlier this year. ‘There’s a mighty uphill struggle to enforce and make the laws that currently exist in this country work for women, because they largely don't.’

With this in mind, it’s no wonder women feel they have to share their story online and protect others. But this is the problem, they’re not actually safe. Sharing personal information in online groups still poses risks to the women involved, and according to Women’s Aid can be harmful for those who have suffered similar abuse to witness.

'We need spaces on and offline for women to speak about their experiences and get help and support, but it is vital that these are safe.'

‘Women in communities across the country are experiencing domestic abuse, but we know that far too many feel unprotected and unsupported,’ Lucy Hadley, Campaigns and Public Affairs Manager at Women’s Aid, told Grazia, ’We need spaces on and offline for women to speak about their experiences and get help and support, but it is vital that these are safe.

‘We have real concerns about unmoderated online forums,’ she continued. ‘Perpetrators may access these forums and obtain details of their victim’s location, which could put them at risk of harm. Other participants in the forum may share upsetting or triggering posts and comments too, with no links to formal help and support.’

That’s why the charity set up their own online forum, the Survivors’ Forum – which is monitored by trained domestic abuse experts – to create a safe space for women to support each other.

‘We would urge any survivor of domestic abuse to join our Survivors’ Forum to share their experiences and support one another safely,’ Hadley added.

It’s a safer alternative, yes – but with little publicity about the forum it’s perhaps no surprise that others have managed to grow so fast on social platforms like Facebook. And while groups like Prick Advisor certainly aren’t ideal - as evidenced by their deletion - we can’t be surprised that they will continue to exist as long our justice system continues to fail women and leave them at risk.

So instead of sharing stories of outrage about the fact that these groups exist, maybe we should be asking why they do – and what can be done to prevent women from needing them.

For help and support dealing with domestic abuse, find out more about Women's Aid's Survivors' Forum here