By Saying ‘Well He Never Assaulted Me’, Nadine Dorries Is Perpetuating Myths About Male ​Violence

The MP is under fire for saying she ‘doesn’t believe’ the allegations of groping against Stanley Johnson, but her justification for doubting the accusers is even worse.

Nadine Dorries

by Georgia Aspinall |
Updated on

Culture Secretary Nadine Dorries has been criticised this morning after saying she doesn’t believe the allegation of sexual assault against Stanley Johnson made by fellow Tory MP Caroline Nokes.

In an interview with the Daily Mail, Dorries perpetuated dangerous myths about male violence in general, apparently stating that since Stanley never assaulted her, she doesn’t think he did it to anyone else.

‘I don't believe it happened,’ the MP for Mid Bedfordshire stated when asked about the groping allegation. ‘I have known Stanley for 15 years. He is a gentleman. It never happened to me. Maybe there is something wrong with me.’

Her comment shave since gone viral online, with many concerned that a government official could proudly state such harmful ideas to the press – especially at a time when Boris Johnson’s government is under fire for not tackling violence against women and girls as a priority.

Nokes herself has responded to the statement, telling the BBC that she hopes such comments will not deter other women from reporting their own experiences. She was one of two women to make allegations of assault against the prime ministers father, with journalist Ailbhe Rea also coming forward after Nokes went public with her claim.

‘Stanley Johnson also groped me at a party at Conservative conference in 2019,’ Ailbhe wrote on Twitter. ‘I am grateful to Caroline Nokes for calling out something that none of us should have to put up with, not least from the Prime Minister's father.’

Stanley has not publicly responded to Rea’s allegation – Grazia reached out for comment but received no reply – but did address Nokes in a statement to Sky News. ‘I have no recollection of Caroline Nokes at all - but there you go. And no reply... Hey ho, good luck and thanks,’ he said.

His flippant reaction caused a stir at the time, no less that Dorries insistence on his innocence has done now. Because as any victim of male violence understands, it is just so disheartening to see yet another person presume a woman is lying about sexual assault based on their relationship with the accused.

Stanley Johnson may well have acted gentlemanly towards Dorries, but as abuse experts, VAWG charities and victims themselves have screamed for years, a man can quite easily appear charming and lovely to some, only to be abusive to others. Knowing someone for a long time does not change this – as we know from instances where men have literally been married to a woman without any hint of abuse, only to go on to abuse their next wife. Frankly, our personal experiences with any man mean absolutely nothing in the face of abuse or harassment claims in the same way they don’t mean anything for any other crime allegation.

A man can quite easily appear charming and lovely to some, only to be abusive to others.

But it’s her second statement that is particularly disturbing to survivors, the part where she appears to imply that sexual misconduct is a compliment. ‘It never happened to me. Maybe there is something wrong with me,’ she says.

Another narrative VAWG charities have been trying to end for decades, this idea that men who are abusive choose their victims based on their value is an absolute myth. Male violence is about exerting power, it is nothing to do with how alluring a victim is – and to imply such on Dorries part is ultimately victim-blaming.

But beyond that, for her to seemingly insinuate that Nokes should be in some way grateful to be chosen by Stanley – as someone who is ‘right’ to be groped – is extremely triggering and harmful to so many victims of male violence. It’s the same idea that catcalling is a compliment, that women should be happy men find them so attractive they can’t help but verbally harass and intimidate them in the street. It not only gaslights and invalidates women’s trauma, but it excuses perpetrators of sexual misconduct.

In effectively perpetuating these harmful narratives, as opposed to condemning male violence and encouraging a thorough investigation into all claims of harassment (particularly by those adjacent to and benefiting from their relationship with public office as Johnson does in being trotted out at Tory party conferences to promote his book) Dorries is further allowing this culture of misogyny and male violence to thrive in our country.

According to the BBC, she regrets how her comment has ‘been received’ and does believe women should ‘be heard’ when they speak out about misconduct.

‘Nadine knows she should have been clearer in her answer,’ a source close to her told the publication. ‘Having known Stanley for so long she found it hard to believe he had been inappropriate. But she is crystal clear that those who experience sexual harassment should always be able to speak up and always be heard. She was not looking “denounce” Caroline and regrets if that is how her comment has been received.’

It’s a nice sentiment to share now, but the fact remains that her words have been printed. It’s all well and good to backtrack (or rather clarify) in the face of condemnation, but this instinctive reaction to denounce female accusers by virtue of knowing the accused is the core of why so many men escape justice when it comes to male violence.

One would hope our government officials should know this, and believe it to their core, but at the very least you would assume they are wise enough to present an attitude of supporting accusers and tackling male violence to the press – even if they do personally doubt the accusation. All this is to question, if this is what an MP is comfortable saying in an interview with The Daily Mail, what’s being said behind closed doors?

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