On Sunday 6 June, the world was alerted to the birth of one of the most anticipated arrivals of all time, the second child of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor. An unconventional royal birth for a number of reasons. The first great grandchild of the Queen to be born overseas - in sunny California - and no doubt the first royal to be introduced to her Majesty over Zoom.
Even amongst such extraordinary circumstances, most significant to me is the fact that her birth was successfully kept a secret, without leaks, for two whole days and the public has still not been granted a photo of mother or baby. A far cry from the traditional high heeled, made up royal mother less than 24 hours post birth.
The act of concealing one of 2021’s most hotly awaited announcements was not only logistically very impressive but more importantly, an inspiring act of defiance. We live in an age where there is immense expectation to make the personal performative to cater to a wider audience. Exacerbated by social media, many feel compelled to share every detail of their lives with friends and family, and in turn those around them feel entitled to personal details. The Sussex’s notably private second child experience is a refreshing rejection of this phenomenon.
From gender reveal ceremonies and baby showers to traditional African naming ceremonies, the pressure to package and share tender moments starts even before the baby takes its first breaths. ‘Sharenting’, defined as the practice of publicising content about one’s children on internet platforms, has been steadily on the rise since the launch of visual social media platforms like Instagram and Pinterest circa 2010, a symptom of what academics refer to as ‘the attention economy’ which forces us to commodify intimate moments into attention grabbing stunts in return for society’s most valued currency- the attention of others.
Increasingly, demand is being placed disproportionately on mothers to pantomime their earliest moments of parenthood for validation.
Increasingly, demand is being placed disproportionately on mothers to pantomime their earliest moments of parenthood for validation. Goaded by ‘momfluencers’ and celebrities who often start sharing from the delivery room, some women are even made to feel guilty for not participating. Critically acclaimed writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie summarised the feeling perfectly stating, ‘we live in an age where women are supposed to perform pregnancy’.
It’s precisely this context which made Meghan’s refusal to oblige the modern standards of ‘sharenting’ by supplying immediate photos or posing with her daughter for paparazzi so revolutionary, more so because of the entitlement so many feel towards hers and indeed all royal children. Freed from the constraints of being working royals, the Sussexes have clearly taken back the control they relinquished during Archie’s birth, dictating exactly which details the public learns about baby Lili and most crucially, when they do.
If the most talked about birth of the year can be conducted entirely in private, this is surely empowering for new mums around the world hoping to buck the trend and keep their own experiences intimate
If the most talked about birth of the year can be conducted entirely in private, this is surely empowering for new mums around the world hoping to buck the trend and keep their own experiences intimate? Dr Aishah Iqbal, a paediatric doctor and mum of one from Leicester certainly thinks so. ‘Meghan being in the limelight and still choosing this is inspiring’ she says. ‘From a medial perspective it’s important to remember postnatal blues are common in the first few days. With so much emotional upheaval, the pressure to share is another factor that could make the post-natal blues worse’ she adds.
In keeping this precious moment to themselves, despite the scrutiny of millions, Meghan and Harry have reminded us of the value in the milestones we choose not to share. Be it a professional achievement or a new relationship, it’s easy to measure life events by the public reaction they garner but baby Lili, whom the world is yet to meet, is proof that truly priceless moments don’t need validation.
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