Joe Lycett Sent The Government Into Meltdown With A Fake Sue Gray Report

‘BREAKING: Leaked Sue Gray report reveals shocking abuse of the rules. Hard to see how the PM can cling on after this,’ he tweeted.

Joe Lycett Sue Gray

by Lydia Spencer-Elliott |
Updated on

Comedian and all-round Twitter icon Joe Lycett successfully pranked the Government after tweeting that Sue Gray’s hotly anticipated report about the Downing Street partieshad been leaked and shared with the public.

The parody document looked convincing with a Cabinet Office logo as the header and classic Times New Roman font. But on closer inspection it became very clear, very quickly, that Lycett was taking the piss.

The list of Sue Gray’s supposed ‘main findings’ reported there was ‘a culture of Covid-19 regulation rule breaking at Number 10 Downing Street’ and said that ‘games were played which were known as “Slow Dance” and “Pass The Arsehole”’ at the Downing Street events.

‘A number of Whatsapp groups were established to organise gatherings, with titles including ‘Definitely A Meeting ;)’ and ‘Down It Street,’ Joe wrote. ‘At one party [redacted] a senior minister insisted all cabinet ministers get onto the table and perform Pure&Simple by Hear’Say,’ he said in the hilarious parody.

‘Before one of the gatherings [redacted] who worked closely with the PM insisted everyone be tested and was subsequently referred to as ‘Twateral Flow’ by advisors,’ the joke report continued. ‘A video of the PM’s wife at one party confirms her attendance in which she is heard saying “it could be as few as four and as many as sixty kids” lol.’

‘One advisor insisted this report makes clear “it is categorically not a breach of the rules to be part of a human centipede if said centipede was formed prior to lockdown”. Please forward any queries to my email ItsAllSueGravyBaby@aol.com,’ he signed off.

Twitter was in pieces. And, as if politics couldn’t get any more surreal, the Government actually believed Joe’s fake report was real. Is this a scene from The Thick Of It?

‘I work in parliament for the Conservatives and I think you need to know your tweet this morning was read as an actual serious leak from Sue Gray’s report,’ a verified civil servant told Joe on Instagram.

‘You had MP staff literally running around panicking from what it said,’ they revealed. ‘Panic dialling MPs like “we need to discuss right now. I can’t believe she used the phrase Down It Street”. Absolutely legendary work well done.’

Sharing the unbelievable exchange with his followers Joe proudly told his fans in the caption: ‘Mummy catfished the government.’

Sue Gray’s actual report is set to be published imminently and was approved by the police earlier this week. The document’s release has since been delayed amid reports that it’s being put through last minute ‘legal scrubbing’.

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