Jennifer Lopez’s Romantic History Proves That Ending A Relationship Doesn’t Mean It Failed

Well, it finally happened... again! Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck married this weekend in a ceremony that, quite controversially, featured every guest wearing white. Now, what does everyone want to know about the pair? Well, according to Google, one thing: How many times J-Lo has been married before. That's right, 'How many times has Jennifer Lopez been married?’ is a major search term today - proving once again that in the eyes of many, a successful woman is only ever the sum of her relationships, sigh.

It's not the first time people have ran to Google with the question. Last year, it cropped up when J-Lo and Alex Rodriguez announced that they had called off their engagement just weeks after they shared they were attempting to work through past issues following cheating allegations against Alex.

‘We have realized we are better as friends and look forward to remaining so,’ their statement read at the time. ‘We will continue to work together and support each other on our shared businesses and projects. We wish the best for each other and one another's children. Out of respect for them, the only other comment we have is to say is thank you to everyone who has sent kind words and support.’

Just like today, the break-up put J. Lo high up on Google Trends as people scoured the internet for more information about her relationship history.

Well, for your information, J.Lo has now been married four times – first to a Cuban waiter named Ojani Noa for just under a year, then to dancer Cris Judd for nine months and most notably, she was married to singer Marc Anthony for 10 years and had two children with him. Of course, Ben Affleck is her newest (and potentially our favourite) husband, having first been engaged to him in November 2002... remember the pink diamond?

With her engagement to A-Rod, that's a total that’s five engagements, four marriages and a host of exes that actually, she remains on good terms with (in most part, Ojani Noa not so much since she’s had to take legal action against him multiple times to stop him making defamatory claims about her).

The Bennifer marriage might be everyone’s obsession right now, but the world has long found allure in J.Lo’s love life. It’s perhaps no surprise then that people are so keen to know how many times Jennifer Lopez has been engaged or married – but equally, one must ask, why does it matter? What judgements are people expecting to make upon finding out she’s been engaged and married a handful of times?

If anything, J.Lo’s love life is proof that a relationship ending doesn’t equate to failure. As a society, we put so much value on long-lasting marriages or partnerships, as if when they come to an end, the entire thing was somehow worth absolutely nothing. When it comes to women in particular, those that amass a number of relationships, be them marriages or not, are often the butt of jokes about not being able to ‘keep a man’ or general judgement about their dating disasters.

But actually, J.Lo is the perfect example of someone who knows how to walk away when something isn’t bringing her joy anymore without fear of that very judgement. Rather than staying in marriages that are clearly not working, she’s prioritises her and her children’s lives, always open to finding happiness with someone else. She doesn’t seem to dread the label of being a divorcee like so many women do, because it’s clear she understands: being divorced does not mean you failed. In fact, in her case it could just mean that you find new love in an old flame.

You can see that in the way her exes still remain some of her closest friends. She dated Sean Combs (P. Diddy) for years back in the 90s and the pair still reunite to this day, Ben Affleck had nothing but incredible things to say about her during there 20-years apart and Marc Anthony was among the first to congratulate her on the announcement of her beauty line JLO Beauty. Her statement about her most engagement to A-Rod ending says it all ‘we have realized we’re better as friends.’

To know yourself that well, and to have the strength to act on it every time, is admirable. So, instead of questioning J.Lo’s relationship history and presumably making judgements based off it, perhaps we should be celebrating how good she is at knowing when to call it quits - and always being open to new love and commitment.

Sometimes, someone is only meant to be in your life for a certain period of time, you grow, change and perhaps you don’t always grow together. Leaving, whether they leave you or the other way round, does not make one partner any less valuable, it simply makes you no longer compatible. The sooner we realise that, as J.Lo clearly does, the sooner there’ll be less pressure on all of us to stay in unhappy relationships or marriages out of the mere fear of being considered a ‘failure’.

Click through for J.Lo's life in pictures...