In Defence Of Eating At The Cinema, Theatre And Anywhere You Want TBH

I love Imelda Staunton. I’m excited about her being The Queen in The Crown. I’ve been to see her on stage – and loved it. I even watched the movie Finding Your Feet, cried and told other people to watch it. She’s great.

But I was saddened to see Imelda become the latest celebrity to bemoan people eating in the theatre. ‘Why are you selling crisps?’ she told the Radio Times. ‘I just do not get it. None of us can be without food for five minutes. And the drinks! Plastic glasses falling to the floor when there’s a quiet moment.’

She carried on to explain she once told off a fellow cinema-goer, saying, ‘A bloke came in with a big packet of Doritos and I just said to him, “What are you doing? You can’t eat those. You either eat them now before the film or afterwards.”’ The man apparently apologised.

Well, I’m sorry, but my name is Rhiannon Evans and I like to eat nachos at the cinema. Sometimes I’ll have popcorn. And I most definitely enjoy having a glass of wine at the theatre too.

For years, I was part of ‘The Church of Wittertainment’ – the popular Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo film podcast. A strong pillar of the church is The Code, which states you shouldn’t be eating anything louder than a soft bun. I listened away for years, my cheeks burning, knowing the truth, my sin. But I’m confessing now.

For theatre actors and film critics, I understand a cultural trip out becomes the norm – something you might do several times a week. I’ve lived part of that life – attending screeners used to be one of my favourite things to do in previous jobs and pre-parenthood. Culture, if you’re really lucky, can become part of your day job – and nobody needs to be ‘treating’ themselves at their day job all the time. A bottle of water at a 2pm screening in a hotel for the purposes of writing a review is fine. Popping from your London flat into the West End a couple of times a week, you probably don’t always fancy a glass of wine.

But yet again, I feel like Imelda and co have forgotten that for many of us, attending the cinema or theatre is a leisure activity, a release from the day-to-day grind, a treat. And, importantly, those visits can be few and far between.

I love going to the cinema and one of the most randomly affecting things that happened to me after having a baby was realising that I was able to go a lot, lot less. Same with going to the theatre. The opportunity to go is now few and far between. And it is a treat. Often, because of childcare it’s either a very indulgent solo trip - or one of about two date nights my husband and I have had in a year. Guys, I’ve not even seen Little Women yet. The theatre is a big deal – it’s often now combined with a night with friends that has been booked months in advance after a considerable amount of date-Doodling.

And when I go, I’ve got to be honest, and say this in the least Piers-Morgany way possible, but I HAVE PAID MY MONEY AND I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT. That’s it really.

Going the cinema now feels exciting to me, a Saturday night out – and I treasure it. And the feeling of walking into the foyer and picking out what snacks I want is all part of it for me – the feeling I’m having an experience.

You might say: but, with your loud, crisping and crunching, you could be totally ruining someone else’s experience of their Saturday night out. Well, for one thing, if you’ve ever had those nachos, you’ll know they’re best served with gloopy cheese that renders the crisps satisfyingly soft. And I know the rustling can be irritating as someone opens a packet of sweets – but are you that hating of everyone around you, that momentary noise is that big of a deal? Popcorn can be noisy if you get a right old scoffer, but think back honestly - once you get past the credits (and eight million ads) and become engrossed in the film, how often have you been able to hear someone crunching for 90 minutes? When I went to see Knives Out recently, a guy sat next to me with some nachos – and it was only when the film ended, I realised I hadn’t heard a thing. Maybe he’s a sneaky-eating-super-spy, but to be honest, I just think I wasn’t that bothered – and he was, like most people, probably being considerate.

Because that’s what is also annoying about the comments of Imelda and others who tut as you open the Revels, they make you feel like you’re being ‘snobby-ed’ – i.e. that someone is lording it over you and being snobby about your behaviour. And that’s not nice.

I’m not stupid, I didn’t take a massive rustling paper bag stuffed with popcorn into The Quiet Place, or a film like Moonlight. I’ve quickly ripped the top off a bag of pick n mix during the loud opening fight scenes in a Marvel movie so reaching into it doesn’t make loads of noise for the rest of the time. And many, many, many times I have sipped a glass of something in the theatre, before quietly and carefully placing it on the floor when the right moment occurs. In short, I’m an adult – and I act like one.

Away from the multiplex, there’s also a rise in luxe-cinemas, where food is served to customers in reclining, cosy seats – everything from coffees and cakes to full meals. And guess what – those cinemas aren’t doing that because there’s no demand for it. It's easy to sit in judgement, but are you, honestly, deep down, actually a cinema chomper?

I imagine – having fought for 20 minutes to get a glass of rose in the interval before – that the drinks and food served in the theatre is also a big part of the business model that props the theatre up? If I’m honest, I do draw my own personal lines at eating much in the stalls – definitely I’d personally steer clear of those massively expensive, weird tubs of crisps you can buy. It does feel different in the quiet of live performance, when people like Imelda really are giving their all. But hands off my wine. And, to be honest, if someone has legged it from work to a show and needs to scoff something quickly, I don’t think I’d be too raging. Especially because I’m probably on my second (plastic) glass of wine.

So, join me, admit to being both a considerate adult, culture fan, and also a cinema snacker and a theatre drinker. It feels (and tastes) good.

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