The Domestic Abuse Commissioner, Nicole Jacobs, has called on people to take action and increase pressure on their MPs to ban the ‘rough sex’ defence.
Jacobs, who was appointed to the new role September, says that the Domestic Abuse Bill will be reintroduced in the next few months and it is therefore a crucial time for everyone to write to their MP asking them to back an amendment by MPs Harriet Harman and Mark Garnier to ban the defence.
The defence has been used in the murders of 59 UK women – including Grace Millane – by men, claiming that the deaths were a result of consensual choking or ‘rough sex’. It has resulted in not guilty verdicts or lesser sentences in almost half of the cases and often means the woman’s sexual history is pored over in court following her death.
‘I strongly support the amendment,’ said Jacobs, who has 20 years’ experience in working with victims of domestic abuse. ‘The critical thing for readers to understand right now is that the bill is coming back. It has been said that this will be reintroduced before the Easter break or before spring. So, it’s important for readers to know that if there’s ever a time to be contacting their local MP this is it. I’d hope the government embrace this amendment and if not, there will be the opportunity to debate it in the bill process.’
In conjunction with Harman and campaign group, We Can’t Consent To This, Grazia has started a petition to pressure the government to accept the amendment to ban the defence and has called on readers to write to their MP. WCCTT has an easy letter format on their website you can use. The petition (which you can sign here) has been backed by the friends of 22-year-old Millane. Speaking last year, Grace’s friend Lucy Young told Grazia: ‘Imagine having to hear every intricate detail of [your friend’s] death while the rest of the world speculates and comments. Losing Grace was heartbreaking, but what was equally awful was having to hear how she was brutally murdered, and then listen to the defence try and justify these actions as “an accident during consensual sex”. No one can consent to their murder. Grace certainly did not.’
As Jacobs notes, there is actually case law that should prevent the use of this defence, but, with the amount of men using it on the rise, it needs enshrining in the bill. ‘It is on the increase and we have to stop it now,’ she told Grazia. ‘I don’t think any person would feel like this is how the justice system should work, that someone would could consent to something that would cause their murder.’
Jacobs was brought in by the government and Home Secretary Priti Patel in September. The role was set to be part of the Domestic Abuse Bill when it passed through parliament last year. But there was public outcry when December’s election closed parliament and effectively put an end to the bill.
When asked how seriously she thinks Prime Minister Boris Johnson is taking the issue, Jacobs acknowledges he went against usual protocol and said before the Queen’s Speech he would bring the Domestic Abuse Bill back to parliament. ‘He did give reassurance then,’ she said. ‘So, I think it did indicate his understanding of how important these issues are to people. He has a fairly good record from when he was Mayor of London… so credit where credit is due to some extent. There is still more the government can do and there’s more that he could do. So, I suppose my attitude is I can see there are some opportunities with this government, but I want to see them do a bit more in this bill and really show that to us in the next few months.’
Jacobs is independent of government and, she says, ‘there to advise and support government and to also hold government to account when they are not going far enough or doing as much as to address domestic abuse, sexual violence and related issues.’ She acknowledges the bill, in making her role statutory, will give her ‘a bit of teeth’ and allow the office to make recommendations people are required to respond to.
I don’t think any person would feel like this is how the justice system should work, that someone would could consent to something that would cause their murder.
‘The role is necessary because our systems have in every way lagged behind the reality of what happens to people in domestic violence, sexual abuse, violence against women and girls,’ she says. ‘We have made progress, but we are not near where we need to be.’
Top of her priority list is getting the Domestic Abuse Bill through parliament – and making it stronger. ‘There is nothing about the bill that I would disagree with,’ she says. ‘But I think the government haven’t gone far enough, so one massive thing on my mind is… statutory duty for refuge provision, which is really important. We really need to end this idea of these services being vulnerable and making them a statutory requirement and core in the budget at where they ought to be, so that we can end that sort of postcode lottery.’
Research by Women’s Aid for their Domestic Abuse Report 2020 released at the end of last month revealed 64% of refuge referrals had to be declined last year, due to ‘a sustained funding crisis’. They also found the number of spaces in refuges is 30% less than the recommended amount by the Council of Europe.
Jacobs said that it was important that people understood ‘the vulnerability of services and the ‘breadth of how people struggle to get refuge’, but didn’t want any woman to not make decisions or leave, for fear that there was nowhere for them to go.
If you talk to a survivor about what they’ve had to endure, it really does keep you focused.
‘I have been in this situation where I have been with a woman with three children sitting in front of me, on a Friday afternoon. [I was] terrified thinking “This is going to be really hard to see where this woman is going to sleep”. The public does need to hear that, to know how seriously these services are needed. People are willing to pack up, or sometimes not even have a bag, and go to places because they’re so scared of their situation. That shocks some people, but it is a reality.’
Days like that keep her motivated, she says. ‘The strength of women in these situations and the kinds of things they do is quite inspiring. If you talk to a survivor about what they’ve had to endure, it really does keep you focused,’ she says. ‘It’s not something I’ve been able to step away from for very long. We’ll all experienced a friend or family member who’ll go through something - domestic abuse, sexual violence - and you don’t realise until you’re in the middle of it, how much the systems need to improve. We’d all like to think those systems are where they need to be, and the fact is we’ve got so much to do.’
Also high on Jacobs’ agenda is increasing the provision for migrant women in the bill. ‘What needs to be in the bill is provision for migrant women and women with no recourse to public funds. So it either needs to be addressed in the bill or by government just unblocking [it]. There is no reason the government couldn’t say that we will allow these people, generally without recourse to public funds, to access this kind of life-saving report while they’re in our country. Regardless of what their immigration status will ever be, they should be able to feel protected and not feel like if they go to the police for protection, some information will be passed on about them. It leaves absolutely no room for any safety.’
You can sign Grazia’s petition HERE. For help on contacting your MP go to We Can’t Consent To This’s website HERE.
READ MORE: No One Can Consent To Their Murder: Our Friend Grace Certainly Did Not
READ MORE: Let's End The 'Rough Sex' Defence