Chrissy Teigen has posted a powerful essay on Medium about the devastating loss of her baby earlier this month. Talking about the reaction to photographs she posted online in the moment before and after her delivery, she told followers that she doesn't care about the horrible reaction to her post from some, reaffirming that she did it for those who have suffered through what her family has and those too that want to know more about miscarriage.
In the emotional and powerful piece, she talks at length about the details of her miscarriage as well as her decision to capture the moment on camera.
'I had asked my mom and John to take pictures no matter how uncomfortable it was,' she wrote. 'I explained to a very hesitant John that i needed them, that i did NOT want to have to ever ask...I knew i needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.'
'I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos', Teigen continued. 'How little I care that it's something you wouldn't have done. I lived it, I chose to do it and more than anything these photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them.'
Her essay has received waves of support from fans and celebrity friends alike, with the miscarriage and baby loss community coming to Teigen's aid to explain just how important it is for people like Teigen to help break the stigma around this topic.
Reading the replies to her essay, they're both harrowing and heartwarming, because after such a disgusting reaction to her photo announcement of the miscarriage, there are droves of women showering her with love now for helping them through their own pain.
At the time of her posting the original pictures, the chorus of voices condemning her decision to post them were loud. Despite women who had suffered miscarriage or baby loss speaking out about how important it was for her to spotlight a taboo subject, they seeemed to be drowned out by those placing judgement on a woman suffering through her darkest grief.
‘Does anyone else find this pretty disturbing?’ one Twitter user commented to hundreds of likes. ‘Why would you put a picture of yourself grieving on social media. I mean it's nothing else but attention seeking. Very strange behaviour.’
‘Who the hell, who in their right mind and attachment to the real world, has a photographer ready or available to capture a photo of something so tragic and heart-breaking?!’ another said. ‘Even going through the lengths of filtering it?! These celebrities have completely lost their humanity.’
These were just two of many judging Teigen and Legend for choosing to share their grief online, criticising a picture of a woman in pain and telling them to keep their personal lives offline. Reading so many of them, you had to wonder, how many women who have also experienced miscarriage or still birth saw the hateful comments and felt even more isolated in their grief? If someone as beloved as Teigen can receive such hate for sharing her experience of baby loss, how is the average woman meant to feel when she too wants to break the stigma of such a taboo topic?
Ultimately, what Teigen has proven is that, whatever your personal feelings about photographing grief, it’s abhorrent to share hateful messages online as a family deals with such a tragic loss. Whether a family wants to take a picture to memorialise a moment, knowing they will never have a picture of the baby they’ve lost, or they simply wanted to show the raw, heart-breaking moment of losing a baby in visual form, it shouldn’t matter. When it comes to someone losing a baby, whether a family is famous or not, if you don’t have something supportive to say, you should be the one staying offline.
And more than that, Teigen shouldn't have had to write an emotional essay about her painful loss for people to realise that. It should go without saying that when a family dealing with one of the most traumatic losses imaginable, Teigen’s comments section isn’t the place for someone’s 140-character thesis on the plague of celebrity.
Teigen not caring about the reaction is a blessing, because for many other women who saw it or have faced the same stigma, they might. So the next time a woman chooses to share her grief online, think twice before offering your opinion on an already harrowingly stigmatised topic.
Read More:
'After I Lost My Baby, People Just Didn't Know What To Say. It's Such An Inconceivable Grief'
After A Miscarriage, One Writer Finds Herself With New Time And New Freedoms
Negotiating Pregnancy, Birth And Baby Loss When You Make Your Living As An Influencer