When it comes to relationships, it's best not to judge. Same sex, long distance, open - all entirely up to you. But there is an exception to that rule, and it's when someone starts dating someone who is under the age of 18.
Last night on Love Island's Aftersun, Caroline Flack made a throw away comment about couple Chris and Harley. Chris told Caroline that he'd originally thought the age gap of eight years was too large for he and Harley to be a viable prospect. Caroline then replied 'there's nothing wrong with an age gap.'
In theory, she's right. Personally I love an age gap - my husband is 11 years my senior and he's one of the youngest men I've dated. But there is a big, fat, important caveat about age gaps: everyone involved should be an adult.
According to the NSPCC, 'In England, Northern Ireland and Wales, a child is someone who has not yet reached their 18th birthday. Once they turn 18, they are legally an adult' - though the age of consent in the UK is 16.
Unfortunately for her, Caroline's Love Island comment reminded viewers that back in 2011 she dated Harry Styles. At the time he was just 17 years old.
The world has changed since 2011, post MeToo the conversations we've had about sexual appropriacy have altered the way we look at relationships, and as such the relationship between a 31 year old woman and a 17 year old boy seems pretty shocking.
If a famous 31-year-old man was seeing a teenage girl who wasn't legally old enough to drink or have a credit card, there would be outrage, and rightly so. Even back in 2001, when Chris Evans (34) married Billie Piper (18) the reaction was one of horror.
In 2015 Caroline spoke about her relationship with Harry, saying: 'It [the relationship] began to go wrong when Harry was pictured coming out of my house one morning. Once that was out, it was open season – anyone could say anything. In the street people started shouting at me "paedophile" and "pervert".'
Defending the relationship, Caroline also said: 'In the entertainment industry nobody asks what age you are. I’ve never felt I was much older than Harry anyway.
'I still feel 18 and probably act that way half the time — all those years in kids’ telly probably didn’t help.'
I read her comments attempting to have an open mind, but there was something disturbing about the suggestion that it was fine for her to date a teenager because she'd never asked how old he was (despite presenting a TV program he was appearing on) and because she considers herself to be immature.
It really is quite a basic level of responsible to find out how old someone is before you start letting them sleep over at your house.
I fear her comments will feel a little close to home for anyone who has had a predatory older man tell her that their age gap is fine because she's 'mature' for her age.
At the time that Flack and Styles were going out there was a tendency to brush any criticism off as the delusional screaming of obsessive fans - Flack herself made comments about fans making Voodoo dolls of her. But in retrospect, perhaps those teenage girls claiming Caroline was too old for him had a point?
Admittedly a boy who is coming into the entertainment industry isn't your bog-standard teenager, and by the time they were dating Styles was almost certainly a bit more wordly wise than your average teen. But he was still a teen - just one year over the age of consent.
There's an old saying that the youngest person you should date is half your age, plus seven years. And while running your dating life based on urban myths might sound silly, it's not a bad rule of thumb. At the time they were dating Caroline Flack's 'non creepy' age would have been 23. Six years older than Styles.
It's impossible to know what goes on between two people behind closed doors. Perhaps there are occasions where a 17-year-old can have a healthy relationship with a 30-something. But there are also a lot of times where the younger party is taken advantage of, whether they're a girl or a boy.
Here's hoping like that bandage dresses and skull print scarves, high profile adults sleeping with people who are under 18 stays firmly in 2011.
harry styles' girlfriend history
1 of 16Felicity Skinner: 2009–2010
Harry’s first ever girlfriend was Felicity Skinner, who she dated for about a year, long-distance, when they were both 15. She later told a newspaper that she mysteriously stopped hearing from him when he went to X Factor bootcamp, which is quite RUDE, HARRY.
2 of 16Katie Smith: June '10
Former X Factor contestant Katie Smith was thought to have been dating (read: they went on one date) Styles back when they were both in bootcamp, when he still wore a beanie over his head and said stuff like “I work in a bakery, me”. The pair obviously split early doors though, as she appeared on The Voice UK a couple of years later – only this time, she had boyfriend of one-and-a-half years, Harry Jones. She has a type, then. (A type known as ‘boys called Harry’.)
3 of 16We’re pretty sure in the office that Harry got close to at least one of Belle Amie when they were all of the show together, but nobody can remember who. Were you in Belle Amie? Can you remember? CALL US. PLEASE.
One or more of Belle Amie: September '10
4 of 16Lucy Horobin: August '11
Married DJ Lucy Horobin became unmarried DJ Lucy Horobin after a fling with Harry followed a flirty interview with the band back in August 2011. Her husband told the Sunday Mirror: “Realising my wife had decided to leave me because she had fallen for a 17-year-old boy, that’s the most embarrassing thing.” Chin up, buddy. Chin up.
5 of 16Caroline Flack: January '12
Yes well we all know how this one went. He TOUCHED HER NAKED LEGS WHEN HE WAS ONLY 17. We are STILL, even two-or-so years on, absolutely OUTRAGED.
6 of 16Emma Ostilly: April '12
Harry and American model Emma Ostilly were caught S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G back in April ’12, which pretty swiftly resulted in her being harassed off of Twitter by Directioners. Twitter’s pointless anyway, Emma. Snapchat’s the cool one now.
7 of 16Emily Atack: May '12
Emily Atack off of The Inbetweeners had a brief thing with Harry back in May 2012, but managed to keep schtum about the whole thing until August ’13. How. How. How did she not tell everyone immediately. How.
8 of 16Alyssa Reid: July '12
The Canadian singer-songwriter apparently swapped numbers with Harry at a Radio City Gig in Liverpool back in 2012, but honestly if we started cataloguing every girl who had given Harry her phone number then we are going to be here all day and probably all night, too.
9 of 16Caggie Dunlop: July '12
And in the same month Caggie Dunlop was spotted in Harry’s Land Rover, which sort of started a precedent for One Direction bandmembers dating Made in Chelsea girls. WHAT. WHAT.Anyway things fizzled out soon after, which pal Millie Manderson attributed to Caggie being basically terrified of the wrath of Directioners. Toughen up, Caggie.
10 of 16Taylor Swift: December '12
Harry and Taylor had a brief, rocky relationship which culminated in an almighty fight around the start of New Year. Which was really annoying for us, because their celebrity couple name was really fun to say.
11 of 16Millie Brady: March '13
British model Millie Brady apparently hooked up with Harry at a Brit Awards afterparty, but things ended pretty badly when he stood her up for their planned date the weekend after. Which is mental because she is a model.
12 of 16Shaniece Nesbitt: March '13
And continuing the theme of ‘girls who have been linked with Harry Styles and then had to delete their Twitter because their @replies column went ballistic’, here’s Shaniece Nesbitt, a fan hoiked out of the crowd at a One Direction concert and asked by a burly bodyguard for her number to pass on. The pair were never actually dating, but she still has a handful of Twitter mimic accounts pretending to be her. Weird.
13 of 16Cara Delevingne: September '13
Harry and eyebrow-having supermodel Cara have been romantically linked about one hundred million times before, but things looked to be hotting up in September when they were spotted at the theatre together just before London Fashion Week. But then they un-hotted up, because that’s the last we heard of them. Until the next time you are rumoured to be doing it, Hara. Until the next time.
14 of 16Paige Reifler: October '13
Some drama that we can’t quite get our head around happened in October 2013, when Harry – who was in New York at the time – was pictured in a couple of flirty clinches with (read: being full-on straddled by) model Paige Reifler. But then, as Joseph Heller would say, ‘something happened’, and Harry sent some cryptic tweet all: “You my friend, are not my kind of Pal.” So safe to say they’re not doing it any more.
15 of 16Sjana Earp: October '13
Harry went on a date with spellcheck-bothering Miranda Kerr-a-like Sjana Earp in October 2013, with the Australian model tweeting to say he’d taken her to a nearby drive-thru for Big Macs. Weirdly, that one didn’t last long. Take her for a KFC Family Bucket next time, Hazza.
16 of 16Kendall Jenner: November '13
Harry was spotted taking Kim Kardashian’s sister Kendall Jenner for dinner in November ’13, although this time he opted to speed past the drive-thru and instead go to, like, an actual restaurant. You can read all about who set them up and what Khloe makes of it all in this week’s heat, out November 26.