In this week’s magazine, we’ve named our Future Shapers, the women who’ll be ruling our worlds this year. Among them is Instagrammer, campaigner and author Candice Brathwaite.
You may have already heard of Candice as the founder of Make Motherhood Diverse, an honest voice beloved of her 54,000 Instagram followers.
But Candice got thrust further into the limelight in November last year when she was on of the victims of AliceInWanderlust – the fake Tattle Life account that Clemmie Hooper set up to talk about other mumfluencers. Mumfluencers she knew and believed themselves friends with her.
Candice had been on Clemmie’s podcast, for instance. But on Tattle Life, Clemmie wrote things like ‘Candice weaponises race’ and that she was ‘aggressive’. The fall-out was huge – fellow blogger Kelechi Okafor had her Instagram account temporarily suspended when she asked whether Clemmie’s career as a midwife should be called into question.
We spoke to Candice at the end of last year, as the dust settled on the scandal – and she looked forward to the release of her first book, I Am Not Your Baby Mother.
As one of our future-shapers, tell us how you’re different from the other mumfluencers out there.
Well you know, I’ll start with the obvious, I am like primarily the only black face in that space and I came into that space with that reason in mind. It was terribly undiverse when I had my first kid, I was like, ‘Jesus, is it all £800 buggies and stripy t-shirts and a blonde bobs. This is not reflective of the parenting and motherhood that I see every day in my society’.
It’s important to understand that the black community are really secretive - and we’re secretive for good reason - and so living a life online is not something that many of us were willing to do, and I think I came online in a time where I was just the only one willing to bare myself in that.
A lot of people don’t like to think about this but, if social media is played right, it’s absolutely a business and if only a certain sector of women get business then other women don’t get paid and that really grates on me: like, there is a pool of advertising spend here that is not being shared fairly, for one reason or the other. Recent events have shown you might have to fall on your own sword a couple of times, but I believe that my presence online will be worth it in the long run. I hope so.
It was a knock of confidence and my mental health went a bit woo-woo, because unfortunately she engaged in things that had hurt our community
Do you feel a lot of responsibility, being an influencer?
I absolutely feel a responsibility, primarily to the women that look like me and also to the community that I represent always, but also, I understand that within my own community I’m a unicorn. People are just like, ‘I can’t believe she’s telling all her business, I can’t believe she won’t be shamed into silence,’ because that is just, that’s how we move in our space and so I know even to black people, sometimes the way I move and the things I say they’re just like, ‘Girl are you feeling okay? This is not how we do this.’
I’m still a young woman, and of course there’s a massive responsibility, but with that said, the last few weeks have directly reminded me that I can’t take on everyone’s issues. My mental health this year has taken the licking of its lifetime, specifically because I’m so prominent online, or I’m that prominent black face. I’ve had to step back and say ‘Girl, does your man love you? Are your kids fed? Are your close friends in the alignment with what you’re doing?’ And sometimes just draw the line.
Even the term influencer its very heavy because I don’t want to influence someone into doing the wrong thing. When I used to see pop stars be like, ‘I’m no one’s role model’ I used to be a bit like, ‘Yeah you are’, now I kind of get it. I think we’re all adults and we need to be mindful of the responsibility we put on others and what we expect from those in a position of influence.
What stories do you think aren’t being told, that you’re putting a focus on?
I’m trying to tell an unbiased story. One of my favourite things to do is to pull up news articles and show people how more often than not the tone is racist and very biased. It’s not only young black boys involved in knife crime, but yet when the perpetrator or the victim is white, the story’s even written in a different way.
I like to use my space to show that in a way that makes everyone feel comfortable. Because these issues aren’t just black issues and if they are black issues, they have far deeper roots than what you’re being told on the news and on TV and so forth. Let’s adjust our settings and let’s understand how, because we live in a society where we are classed as a minority, the news may be skewed. We do always have to remember that and, and yeah, I take that responsibility very seriously.
A lot was said after the Clemmie Hooper scandal about this being the beginning of the end of influencers, because of the loss of trust. Do you think that’s the case? Or how do you see if moving forward?
No, it’s never the end. One apple don’t spoil no batch, we still have to keep going. I think though, what that situation has shown is, and this should’ve been happening from the beginning but, everyone’s gotta be held to a higher level of being authentic. Like are you really real, are you doing what you should be doing? Another thing that will help professionalise this space, is for the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority) rules to get really tight and for us to really clamp down and for our audiences to accept the fact that this is our work place and when we engage in these ads, we’re always gonna be open and authentic and give it to you in a clean cut manner.
That’s where I see this going and as far as I can see, cause I pay attention to the trends, industries are not slowing down their ad spends with influencers, it’s going up and up, year on year.
I watched television last night and their ads were atrocious, and I thought, ‘No wonder you guys spend with influencers because this is terrible.’ There’s just gonna be a higher level of expectancy, in terms of being authentic and respect. It is a job. We might not like the term, but it is a job and if you are willing to accept and engage with someone’s free content, the nicest thing you can do is let them run their ads and not make them feel bad for it.
And again, I think this situation has just shown us that the audience aren’t silly, they’re not sleepy, and if you give them a moment to air their grievances, they’re gonna go for it. So just to avoid that back and forth, keep it as clean and as cute from the offset and everything will be chill.
How are you feeling about having a book out there, as opposed to existing on Instagram?
I feel terribly nervous, I’m not gonna lie. I’m terribly nervous because a book does stick and it’s also the first ever black British parenting type voice. Isn’t that insane? We’ve never allowed a black woman to talk about being a black mother, it’s never happened. So once again, I’m the first out of the gate and I know that the things I say are gonna ruffle some feathers and again, I’m willing to stand on it, I’m willing to lead.
What I really hope is that this opens the floodgates for more black women to land a deal to speak about this kind of stuff. We’re mums too, we’re fashionistas too, you know? I would love to see our content as respected in terms of being paid for it as anyone else out there.
Now the Clemmie Hooper scandal has died down, how are you feeling about it?
I am feeling… I am feeling really excited It was a knock of confidence and my mental health went a bit woo-woo, because unfortunately she engaged in things that had hurt our community, before we even knew she was taking part in this. This was always a bubbling conversation, trolling, online bulling, this was very at the forefront of 2019, so for this to be done by someone who has suffered it herself, not only is that sad and chilling, it’s also like, okay… I’ve had to really recalibrate my team and who I trust and those closest to me, because now I’m faced with the realisation that not everyone who is brought before me is an ally. And that is a fact.
And it’s a painful fact because again, I step into this arena as a minority, you know. I wasn’t I wasn’t called chubby, I wasn’t called ugly, I was spoken about based on something I cannot change. That was a bitter pill to swallow. But, you know, all things said and done, I can’t meditate on her, man, I can’t. She’s made her bed, she’s done what she’s done and I’m always gonna be… I call myself like a New York city rat, like you think I’m dead but I’m just in the next room eating your cheese like, its fine. I’m always going to resurrect.
And so, I’m like in my resurrection mode and like phoenix from ashes, and all I’ve taken from this, personally, is an absolute love from what is a very tiny community in comparison to someone like hers, and how they have just joined hands around me and been like, ‘You don’t even have to say anything. You don’t even have to fight this because we know you as a person, and we trust you, and we adore you.’ Even saying that now gives me chills. That’s what these two weeks have taught me. That I’ve cultivated a community that will rise for me because I’m honest with them, and I respect that. I respect that.
Candice’s book, I Am Not Your Baby Mother is out on May 28 and available to pre-order here.
READ MORE: Clemmie Hooper Is A Midwife – That’s Why Her Trolling Really Matters