A Reddit post has gone viral today after one user posted in the ‘Am I The Asshole?’ thread about prioritising his best female friend over his girlfriend. Asking, ‘AITAH for taking my best friend on an extravagant date and not my gf?’, the post elicited over 3,000 comments before it was removed by moderators in order to ‘keep the community safe’.
That hasn’t stopped discussion spilling outside of Reddit though, with many now debating whether this man is, in fact, an arsehole. But allow us to give you the whole story.
According to the original post, the man and his female friend grew up in foster care together, staying in contact throughout their adult life and developing a sibling-like relationship. ‘The bond I have with her is like nothing I have ever had,’ he said. ‘But there is no romance here, no matter how many people in our lives have pushed it. That said, we both bought condos in the same building.’
The man went on to explain that his female friend is ‘happily married’ and he is ‘good friends’ with her husband. However, since the husband is allergic to shellfish, he told the pair they should go out for seafood while he was away. The user said he then made reservations at a luxurious restaurant, and decided to make a weekend of it to treat his friend.
‘There is also a musical in town I know she wants to see so I got tickets and I got us a hotel room (with two beds) at a nice hotel,’ he explained. ‘We will check out some museums and do a wine tasting the following day.’
Referring to the woman as his biggest ‘cheerleader’, he said that the entire trip was costing him $1,500 (£!,084) but he was at a place in his life where he could treat the friend who has ‘always believed in him’. His girlfriend, however, was less than impressed by the gesture.
I do understand that getting a hotel room with a woman looks suspicious.
‘She says I must want something with her to throw this kind of money at her but I just really like treating her,’ the user said. ‘I do understand that getting a hotel room with a woman looks suspicious, but she in my eyes is a sister and the only family I have. Her husband knows and encourages it. We all interact regularly and he gets our relationship.’
‘I haven't even been dating this woman a year, my best friend and I have known each other for over 20 years,’ he continued. ‘I don't think it is reasonable for her to expect big, expensive dates at this point. She is mad that I am spending so much on taking another woman on an extravagant weekend and not her.’
He concluded by explaining that if he and this woman were blood-related, his girlfriend wouldn’t have a problem with it – but commenters were unsure. ‘[Original poster] isn't doing anything wrong by taking his sister out. However, if I was that girlfriend, I would be upset too,’ one user replied. ‘Family is important, but the person you're dating should be your partner and the most important person in your life. Sure, maybe 6 months is too early to be THAT, but... Why call it a date?’
They have a point, referring to a weekend away with your female best friend as a ‘date’ is bound to touch a nerve – but is it not slightly juvenile to assume a man and a woman who grew up together, who have never become romantic in 20 years of friendship, cannot spend a weekend together without crossing a line?
Ultimately, the post is causing huge divides – seemingly from those with trust issues and those without. But what do you think, is this man in fact… an arsehole?
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