I’ve always thought the old adage, ‘Money can’t buy you happiness’ is something that rich people say to make us feel better and not try even harder to make a load of their money ourselves. ‘Oh nooooo,’ it seems to say. ‘This? This gold-plated jacuzzi tank with a champagne tap? You wouldn’t want thiiiiiis. Makes you miserable if anything.’
But research released this week suggests that ‘high-fliers’ earning six-figures do have a terrible time in relationships.
Two-thirds (69 per cent) of the 500 people earning £100,000 surveyed said they have ‘significant’ problems in their private relationships while in their current or similar roles. If you think, ‘Sounds about right for most of us tbh’, you’d be wrong. Across the general public, those saying they had problems was only 20 per cent.
Those surveyed were business owners, partners or board members, non-board managers and directors – 46 per cent said long working hours were a problem. Meanwhile 38 per cent said the time they had to take away from home caused strain. A third said their work was as damaging to a relationship as infidelity.
Aaaaaand stop right there, but sorry, no.
I know you shouldn’t judge anyone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes etc etc – and I understand that everyone has their own cross to bear, their issues to face and things going on.
But come on.
I wonder if they surveyed people on zero-hour contracts? Or people going to food banks? Asked those who don’t look at their bank balance but at the coins in their hand and weigh up if they should take the bus or if their kids need to eat. I imagine that puts a pretty huge stress on a relationship.
If we’re to accept that money doesn’t bring happiness, surely it’s logical to suppose money alone doesn’t bring misery?
I guess I can’t pretend to know what that’s like any more than being on £100k, but I do object to this Dickensian poverty porn - that Bob Cratchit’s tummy might be rumbling, but his heart is full. It’s poor old Ebeneezer you need to worry about.
Perhaps, actually, as you earn more money, your options and horizons and opportunities grow. These are good things, things that everyone would wish for. And I could understand how they, not what your bank balance says, could cause problems in relationships. The money, I could stretch to believe, is a catalyst to a lifestyle and mindset that could cause problems. Maybe.
And there’s no doubt work stress and long hours is bad for our health, wellness and relationships. But the idea that those earning £100k are racking up the hours more than everyone else also isn’t the case. We know that because some people are doing three jobs to pay their bills. We know that because we’ve all seen it with our own eyes, in our own offices.
More likely, I could believe that if you are earning what is two-thirds above the national average wage, let’s not forget, you might have the time and breathing space to muse on whether the grass is greener. You might have the resources to be away from your partner more. But many would see that time, breathing space and experiences as a luxury.
There’s also the random nature of the £100k figure. Sadly enough, it might make people sick to think it, but £100k might not even take you that far in London – you’re probably one of the lower earners if you’re part of the management team of a big corporation. Let’s not ever forget, there are people who have Succession levels of wealth, taking millions (the money some earn in lifetimes) home just as their bonus and pension contributions. Those people want you to forget they exist. They definitely aren’t filling out surveys about whether their money makes them happy – they know better than that.
The research was done to test anecdotal evidence that high earners were so unhappy they were a business risk. And, probably, anecdotally, we have all said, gossiping over a glass of wine, something along the lines of ‘Oh yeah, but all that money still hasn’t made them happy, has it?’
And perhaps there should be room in my heart to have sympathy for everyone, you do never know what’s going on in someone’s mind or in their circumstances – it is really important to say that bad mental health can affect anyone at any time.
But if we’re to accept that money doesn’t bring happiness, surely it’s logical to suppose money alone doesn’t bring misery? And to link having a good job and money to losing in love seems strange at best, irritating, given the current state of our country, at worst. The figures look compelling, but I can't buy in.
I have sympathy for lots of people, for lots of reasons – tragedy can strike everywhere. But while there are people queueing for food banks with pennies in their hand, at the very least I’d be interested to read a YouGov survey about something else…
READ MORE: Why A UK Food Bank Is Now Providing Tampons For Women Who Can't Afford Them
READ MORE::a[Life Lessons From Millionaires That Have Nothing To Do With Money]{href='https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/life-lessons-millionaires/' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer'}