Exercise has been my oasis for the past three years. It started as an escape from my stress and anxiety after uprooting my life and moving to London to pursue journalism. Constantly obsessing over all the things I should be doing to be productive, the gym became the only place I could switch off from work and university without feeling guilty – after all, it was productive and healthy, something I could justify procrastinating my workload for.
But it hasn't been always been a smooth ride since then. Two years in, I hit a snag in my relationship with exercise. I had left my womens-only gym at Queen Mary University when I moved to a new part of London, and I had been at a new mixed-gender gym for about six months when everything changed.
Seemingly out of nowhere, I stopped enjoying my routines, felt uncomfortable while I was there and dreading going. I started to see the gym as a chore, something I had to force myself to do. That might not seem like such a big deal, after all many people view the gym as a chore, but it’s the opposite for me.
I’ve crafted my workout split, my exercises and my rest time to make the gym something I love. I don’t push myself to the point of hating what I’m doing, I take my time and I enjoy the process because I know myself well enough to know that’s the only way it’ll be a lifelong commitment. Yes, the result many aim for – physical changes in their body or increased strength – are slower because of that mindset, but that’s fine because the gym isn’t about aesthetic or strength goals for me, it’s about self-care.
So when my oasis, my escape from the stresses that can so easily trigger my anxiety, became a place I loathed – it terrified me. What had changed? I couldn’t put my finger on it for the longest time. Was my progress plateauing affecting me more than I thought? Was I just bored of the same old routine?
The penny dropped a few weeks later. It was now September and the gym was quiet again, the Summer rush had died down. I was started to feel more motivated. Then, I had one resounding thought on the way home of a particular session: ‘wow, no one has sexually harassed me at the gym in like…two weeks.’ And it all clicked.
Wow, no one has sexually harassed me at the gym in like…two weeks
I hadn’t lost motivation because I was bored, or feeling lazy or insecure about my progress – I had just become exhausted with the uncomfortable feeling of entering a gym filled with potential harassment. My new gym was very male-dominated, particularly with older men. It was the type of gym these men had spent their whole lives at, and naturally they felt very comfortable in that environment. Too comfortable really, at least for the women that encountered them.
They would approach me mid-set to pass on their (unwanted) approval, offer unsolicited advice at any opportunity and sneak personal questions in seemingly casual conversations - often about my romantic life. Almost every single time I went in that gym a man would approach me. It ranged from casual small talk that (sometimes) I didn't mind, to full-on sexual harassment, continuing to ask me out after i'd already made it clear I wasn't interested.
And it's not just me. In fact, a study by FitRated in June last year found that 71% of women are harassed at the gym on a daily basis. In response, 82% of women change their gym routine and 54% avoid certain areas - but worryingly, one in five women cancel their membership. More recently, GolfSupport found that 78% fear being harassed at the gym, with 1 in 3 preferring to go to a female-only space.
That day as I walked home from the gym, I realised I was very much part of that 78% - and it was ruining my relationship with exercise. I began to think about every time I entered that gym, how my eyes would dart around the room for the usual offenders. How I would hold my breath when a familiar face made their way over or look at the floor during sets hoping no one would interrupt me.
Because, prior to this, the gym being my oasis wasn’t just about forgetting what work I had on that week. It was also the place I could relax in knowing didn’t have to put on my best social self. In the gym, you can go in, ignore everyone and just get on with it. I didn’t have to mentally prepare for awkward small talk, uncomfortable flirting or dodging date invitations. Until I did. And 80% of women agree, telling FitRated they don't enjoy being talked to while working out - with 90% also hating being stared at or flirted with.
All that had changed, because my new gym was a world away from the women’s only I had loved beforehand. On the single gender floor at Queen Mary university gym, my routine had flourished. Within a few weeks of joining, I started trying exercises I’d always been afraid of even setting up, incorporating more upper body work into my routine and testing out new ideas for routines. Some of those exercises have since become my most-loved and most effective.
It’s the monumental difference a female-only gym can make. You feel safe. And more than that, more confident. No one’s watching you, no one’s about to interrupt with unsolicited advice on your form, no one is judging you. It’s a complete game changer, and it’s why I’ve been on the hunt for a similar gym ever since.
Unfortunately, there aren’t many women’s only gyms in London, which is why I ended up in the harassment-fuelled-plateau last Summer at my new gym. I have since left there and my new gym isn’t anywhere near as bad on the harassment front – but that anxiety still sits in the back of my mind knowing it only takes one creeper to turn my oasis into a nightmare.
Because, while most of us might brush off micro-aggressions like every day harassment, they do have a real long-term impact on our mindset. Whether it’s your relationship with work, socialising or exercise – harassment has a way of dampening every aspect of our lives in such an insidious, malicious way.
So if you’ve been struggling with motivation or progress at your gym, maybe it’s not about switching up your routine, maybe it’s about switching up your gym.
Read More: Exercises to help build your legs and core
Essential Exercises For Building Muscle In Every Muscle Group
1 of 12glutes and legs
2 of 12Deadlifts
These may look scary to a beginner, but they're essential if you want to build your hamstrings and glutes- plus provide better glute activation than squats. Perform them in front of a mirror or personal trainer at your gym to make sure your form is right. Start with your feet shoulder width apart, holding a barbell (always start light, good form is essential to prevent back injuries so you need to master this before going heavy) with your arms extended. Lower the barbell to the floor, keeping your back straight, legs straight but not locked and pushing your bum out, until your barbell reaches the floor. You should only squatting into the movement if you're not flexible enough to reach the floor without. As you lift the barbell back up and reach the top of the movement, push your hips forward and squeeze your glutes.
3 of 12Bulgarian Split Squat
The split squat is a great quad exercise, engaging your gluteus medius and tensor fascia latae (the side of your bum and hip/thigh region where people complain about hip dips) the lower you go. Aim to lower yourself until the quad on your front leg is parallel with the floor. If you find it difficult to balance, focus on one spot on the wall in front of you, and make sure to do them without weight at first until you master the form.
4 of 12Hip Thrusts
The queen of all glute exercises, the hip thrust is also a scary looking exercise at first. Find a bench and position yourself so your shoulder blades rest on it with your feet in front of you, shoulder width apart. Place the barbell on your hips, with a barbell pad depending on how heavy your going), and thrust up into the sky. Clench your glutes when you reach the top of the movement, they will be on fire after a few reps. If you're worried about trying this one, you can always do it with a dumbbell or no weight at all at first.
5 of 12Hip Abduction
These are great for ensuring the whole of your glutes are being exercised. Targeting the gluteus medius and your TFL again, you need to attach your foot to the cable machine, bend your balancing leg slightly, then move your other leg away from you until you feel a squeeze in your thigh. Perform the movement continously to keep the muscles under tension, clenching your glutes the entire time. These can also be performed on the hip abduction machine at any gym, which is even easier because you're sitting and use both legs at the same time - this means you can go heavier, although it's good to have single leg exercises in your routine to ensure you're not overworking one leg.
6 of 12Sumo Squat
The back squat is extremely overrated when it comes to glute engagement, however having some sort of squat in your routine is important to ensure you're not neglecting your quads. The sumo squat provides the most glute activation of all the squats, as you can go lower. These can be performed with a barbell or by holding a dumbbell at your chest (or at your hips if you're on an elevated surface). Widen your stance to beyond shoulder-width and squat as low as is humanly possible, as you come up you should tense your glutes and push your hips forward.
7 of 12core
8 of 12Thread The Needle
This is a great exercise for your obliques, and is a step up from the regular side plank. Since holding a side plank can get boring and is more of a mental battle than physical, this not only adds an extra burn but makes the exercise more fun.
9 of 12Slider Knee Tucks
A misleadingly hard core exercise, this will have you sweating like no other. Start in a plank position with your feet on two sliders and pull your knees into your chest.
10 of 12Plank Twists
Another way to spice up the regular old plank, which I give up on more because it's boring than because I can't do it, plank twists give an extra burn to your obliques.
11 of 12V-Sits
Working your upper abs, these are that one step further from the regular crunch. Start with your shoulders and legs off the floor with your arms outstretched in front of you, bring your knees into your chest until your fingertips are reaching your toes and repeat.
12 of 12Russian Twists
Another great oblique exercise, these a great way to add some weight into your ab routine. You can use a dumbbell, weight plate, kettle bell, bag of sugar, whatever you want- just make sure it's almost hitting the floor and you're going through the full range of motion.