Goop’s Christmas gift guide is always guaranteed to make us laugh. With it and at it, I’m afraid. This year though, Gwyneth Paltrow has evidently clocked that her lifestyle brand’s holiday guide is beloved for this very reason as for 2018 she’s introduced a new sub-section called ‘Ridiculous But Awesome’, which essentially sums up the whole list.
The Goop elves have scoured the world to find the bizarre (a personal butter churner), the ludicrous (a whole Spanish village) and the surprisingly appealing (a Sriracha keychain). The latter came as a surprise. Usually we think Gwyneth is trolling us with her crystal water bottles for the price of a month’s mortgage and her luxury private jet holidays, which amount to more than most peoples pensions. But, this year, we’ve found a handful of things we wouldn’t just consider gifting but buying for ourselves. Perhaps we’re getting older or we’re more indoctrinated by Goop than ever, but that Hygge swing seems like something we could make room for in our lives. And, that Thai cookbook from LA’s cult Night + Market restaurant has already been ordered. We feel seen.
See: The Best and The Most Bizarre Gifts From Goop’s 2018 Holiday Gift Guide
Goop Gift Guide
1 of 17The Spanish Village of Lugo, £133,000
RIDICULOUSBuying a whole village to yourself? Capitalism gone mad.
2 of 17Rose Quartz Crystal Straw, £66
WANTThe backlash against straws has persuaded bars to do away with this single-use plastic paraphernalia, but that means we don't still crave away to sip without smushing our lipstick. Plus, this one comes with a crystal. Good vibes, all round.
3 of 17Cut Out Leather Knickers, £308
RIDICULOUSI have one thought about leather thongs: ouch.
4 of 17Wooden Hygge Swing, £175
WANTOK, I know a swing inside is a little ridiculous when London properties are so diminutive, but who doesn't want to up their hygge quota?
5 of 17Ouef NYC's Knit Crown For A Baby, £37
RIDICULOUSA crown for a baby. I think we need to rethink the social hierarchy at play here.
6 of 17Night + Market Cookbook, £34
WANTUntil they open a Night+Market in the UK, this is the closest we'll get to LA's cult thai restaurant.
7 of 17Enso Heartbeat Device, £96
RIDICULOUSI love my partner, but I don't need to hear their heartbeat on-the-go.
8 of 17Pink Glass Candlesticks, £84
WANTUp the ante of your next dinner party.
9 of 17Portable Bidet, £54
RIDICULOUSJust, no.
10 of 17Black Pyjama Suit, £257
WANTA pair of extravagant pyjamas is one of the few luxuries that's fully worth it.
11 of 1724K Gold Rolling Paper, £55
RIDICULOUSIf you can afford gold rolling paper, why aren't you smoking straights?
12 of 17Self Love Spray, £44
WANTGot to align those chakras any affordable way I can.
13 of 17Personalised Medallion, £777.67
RIDICULOUSOf course the people who still handwrite letters are the same people who need a personalised crest.
14 of 17Siracha Keychain, £6.59
WANTIf Beyonce keeps hot sauce in her handbag, I will too.
15 of 17Personalised Aston Martin, £TBC
RIDICULOUSI'm down with Nike ID customization, but is this not a step too far?
16 of 17Instax Square SQ6 Camera, £125
WANTA selfie-friendly camera is actually quite handy.
17 of 1722K Gold Ceramic Pipe, £136
RIDICULOUSFor when you want to surreptitiously smoke from a deluxe stone