Good morning to Sandro Farmhouse and Sandro Farmhouse only, the hottest thing on Great British Bake Off since Giuseppe burnt his Belgian buns.
Even America stans Sandro. 'Excuse Me, Who Is This British Baking Show Hunk?', asked The Cut(yes, it's got a different name on the other side of the Atlantic, but it's very much beloved). Well, he's a part-time nanny who does virtual baking classes for children with autism. His last name, US magazine goes on to swoon, 'is literally Farmhouse, which brings to mind a vivid fantasy about this man baking bread for me in a converted barn somewhere in the English countryside'. Ooh err. He is apparently 'passionate about fitness', which explains his general physique. And he's a very good baker, to boot. Buns and guns, what more can we ask for?
And boy, does he have a way with words that makes us shake like a flan, muttering sweet nothings to his baked goods like, 'Okay babies, grow for me nicely,' as he puts them down to set. 'Sandro is daddy material', tweeted the official Great British Bake Off account. And who are we to disagree? Sorry, Carol's Avocado, there's a new show in. town.
True, we might all be getting a little carried away. Here is a hard-working baker boy just trying to get by, be recognised for what he brings to the judging table and scoop a... well, the prize is a bunch of flowers and a cake stand. But you get to be the nation's sweetheart.
That hasn't stopped The Cut laying it on as thickly as Will's butter cream or Prue's dishy innuendos. The magazine notes his 'his decision to wear tight-fitting tees and that gold chain, two notoriously sexy garments that do not belong anywhere near a sack of flour. His skin is frequently aglow with the light of a thousand suns — or maybe just sweat from filming inside a tent in the summer. He has some artfully layered gold jewellery, and he can even pull off that delicate little nose ring.'
Good for him, he looks happy and healthy. We have a new king. Long and delicious may his reign be.