If you are a gay man, then you will be very, very used to friends starting a conversation with 'so... I think you'll love my friend Matthew.'*
*We'll call him Matthew, because half of the gay men in London are called Matthew.
'Oh really?' You ask, intrigued. 'Why?'
'Does he share a mutual interest?' you wonder. 'Is he a similar physical type to people I've dated previously? Are our personalities complementary?' Your friend cuts off your thought process just as your mind's eye visualises the wedding - small, yet chic. Wilson Phillips will perform - with the usual response.
'He's gay too!'
Groundbreaking.
The tendency for straight friends to attempt to matchmake their only two gay acquaintances is a well-meant but quietly unacceptable trend that suggests that many gay men are defined purely by their sexuality by some. I don't get grossly offended when it happens, but I always give the friend in question a gentle ribbing. I forgive them because they think they're being helpful. But I can't forgive it when it's on the big screen, viewed by millions. I can't forgive Sex And The City for doing it with Stanford and Anthony.
Cast your mind back. Stanford Blatch - played by Willie Garson - is Carrie Bradshaw's closest male friend. He is a gay cliche. He is camp. His style is what you could call 'out there.' He likes fashion shows and smutty puns. Is he characterisation subtle? No, but it's largely off its time and harmless enough, although I resent the fact that Carrie never truly seems to see him as a friend on a level with her fellow females, as if she doesn't consider him her equal.
Then there's Anthony Marentino, Charlotte's closest male friend, played by Mario Fantone. He is another gay cliche, of a different kind. He's caustic and shrill and dramatic, more sophisticated than Stanford, by which I mean he wears black.
The original series, despite broaching the possibility, never set them on a romantic path. In fact, they loathed each other. They were gay, yes, but they had clashing personalities and took great glee in each other's failures. This always felt far, far more interesting than making them an item. But the first film threw away this vaguely progressive depiction, and they united on New Year's Eve. Stanford and Anthony, finding themselves alone at a party of couples as that schmaltzy version of Auld Lang Syne played, took some liquid courage, shrugged and conceded defeat with a kiss. The brief scene is almost a nod to the real-life scenario above involving my friend. You can almost feel the writers, and the actors, go 'oh well, we held off for a few years, but they're gay: they have to end up together.'
Really, I would have accepted this scene pretty readily it it stood by itself. We've all snogged someone unexpected when there is champagne and we feel alone. It's the second film that really irked me. The characters could have called a kiss a kiss, wished each other a Happy New Year, and gone their separate ways. They could have tried a few dates, even, realised they weren't right for each other, and moved on. But no. The second film took their love story down the predictable route by forcing them to marry. Stanford got his insane wedding - Liza Minelli included - and Anthony gets to see other people. Because gay men are promiscuous.
Stanford and Anthony had absolutely no business being together. Can opposites attract? Yes. Do people settle? Absolutely. But in making Sex And The City's two gay men a romantic pair was lazy. It falls in line with the idea that sexuality is the most important thing about gay people. You can forget hobbies, personality, profession, looks, skills, style, ethics or morals, which are all things that we define straight people by all the time: gay trumps everything.
I know there's no specific intent in it, but it's unreasonable and indicative of television and film's use of gay male characters as the one-dimensional sidekick, undeserving of meaningful arcs.
Anthony and Stanford are confirmed to be returning in And Just Like That, the reboot or sequel show to the original series. Willie has already been photographed shooting scenes with Kristin Davis. I hope these scenes are set at the divorce hearing. It is the only way to rectify the egregious mistake that pairing them up truly was, and show the gay fans that they are more than a cliche to the creators of this TV gem.