The moment parents announce the arrival of a new baby to the world is supposed to be one of life's most special moments. But for women in the public eye, things are rarely that simple. Lily Colins has received backlash after she announced the birth of her baby girl, Tovie, on Instagram, with some social media users criticising her decision to use a surrogate.
In the post shared to Instagram, Lily shared an adorable picture of her new baby lying in a cot. In the caption, the Emily in Paris star and her husband Charlie McDowell shared their 'endless gratitude for our incredible surrogate' and thanked 'everyone who helped us along the way.'
While lots of people congratulated the new parents, many also chose to criticise the couple's decision to use a surrogate. 'I will never forgive y’all for normalising commercial surrogacy btw,' one person tweeted in response, to more than 60,000 likes. 'The future: pregnancy is for poor women,' another said to 174,000 likes.
In response, Charlie took to the comments section to address the negativity. 'Thank you for all the kind messages and love,' he said. 'We are overjoyed and very grateful. In regards to the unkind messages about surrogacy and our path to having a baby – it’s OK to not be an expert on surrogacy. It’s OK to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It’s OK to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume.'
He continued: 'And it’s OK to spend less time spewing hateful words into the world, especially in regards to a beautiful baby girl who has brought a lot of love into people’s lives. That’s all for now because she just pooped and I need to change her diaper.'
Sadly, this type of pile on is nothing new for women in the public eye. When Cameron Diaz became a mother for the second time at the age of 51 last year, people were quick to theorise that she had used a surrogate and criticise her for that. Similar questions were asked of Naomi Campbell when she announced the birth of her first child in May 2021. But the bottom line is that a deeply personal decision, such as how to have a child, should never be up for public discussion.
There are countless reasons why women might choose to use a surrogate, whether for medical conditions, age, or personal reasons. No one should ever be speculating on why a woman might make such a personal decision, and no parent owes anyone an explanation about their journey to parenthood.
In the past, Lily has bravely spoken out about her battle with anorexia. In a 2017 interview with US Weekly, she opened up about how her desire to start a family encouraged her to get 'help' for her eating disorder.
When the publication asked if there was a 'moment when she realized she needed help', Lily said 'Everyone has a different form of recovery,' continuing 'I never had an "aha" moment. My reason to finally start talking about [my eating disorder] was the moment I realized I wanted a family. I wanted kids. I didn’t want this to be something I bring into that.'
She also told Harper's Bazaar in 2017 that she was conscious of how her eating disorder could impact her ability to have children. 'When I was younger, I wanted to reach this image of what I thought perfection was and I equated that with – well, with what you see in the media; you think body shape has to a lot do with being perfect,' she said. 'Then, as I grew older, I realised that perfection doesn't exist and my priorities have shifted because I want a family one day. I don't want these self-imposed issues to affect whether or not I can have kids – because the reality is you can't have children when you're ill like that.'
Now, those aware of how damaging eating disorders can be, even after recovery, are showing support for Lily online.
The pair also received plenty of well wishes on their pregnancy announcement from famous faces, including Nina Dobrev, star of The Vampire Diaries, who posted a white heart and two crying emojis, Amanda Seyfried, the Mamma Mia! actress, and Jessie Ware, the singer. Amanda wrote: 'This is perfect. So, so happy for you four.'
Alice Hallis the Staff Writer at Grazia UK. She was previously a Junior Features Writer for The Daily Telegraph. At Grazia, she writes news and features about pop culture, dating, health, politics and interiors.