Why Is Lily Allen Getting Backlash For Being Honest About Parenting?

She shouldn't be judged for speaking honestly about something many parents probably relate to.


by Ruchira Sharma |
Updated on

Lily Allen has been getting backlash for sharing that sometimes she enjoys taking time away from her children.

On her podcast Miss Me, the singer and podcaster was asked what her guilty pleasure is by her co-host Miquita Oliver, and she replied 'leaving my kids'.

The Smile singer is mum to two daughters (Ethel, 12, and Marnie, 11) with ex-husband Sam Cooper, and now lives with her husband, Stranger Things actor David Harbour.

Lily explained that after long periods of looking after her children by herself, she's relieved to get a break.

'Sometimes when I've been in New York with the kids for a month and David hasn't been around and I know I've got a trip planned somewhere I'll get out of the door and just… ahhh,' she said.

Even still, she admitted that she feels guilty soon after.

'But then I'll get out the door and half an hour later I feel guilty. Not even half an hour, 20 minutes, maybe 10, maybe five, maybe as soon as I walk across the threshold I'm enjoying myself but I feel guilt.'

Both hosts shared how their hard work and trips away ultimately help their families.

Lily joked: 'How dare I be so selfish as to try and do some work and set up a flat here for us.'

But some people on social media have accused Allen of not enjoying motherhood by saying she enjoys getting time away.

One X user accused her of being a 'terrible person', while another expressed shock at her being so open, saying 'your kids are going to read it [sic]'.

It's beyond normal and healthy for people to need their alone time away from their children, especially if they've taken on the bulk of care duties for an extended block of time as Lily said. Parents deserve time to themselves, whether that's working, watching a film or seeing friends.

The speed at which people have criticised Lily for sharing such a human response is just another example from the countless ways society is so quick to judge mothers, regardless of how uncontroversial the behaviour is.

In fact, Lily's honesty could be a huge help to mothers who feel scared to ask for alone time for fear of being judged or letting their children down. Sadly the backlash just highlights why many would feel that way.

This isn't the first time Lily has spoken out about parenthood. Earlier this year, she shared that having kids ruined her career in an interview with the Radio Times Podcast.

'My children ruined my career. I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom, they totally ruined it.

‘I get really annoyed when people say you can have it all because, quite frankly, you can’t.'

She added, 'Some people choose their career over their children and that’s their prerogative, but my parents were quite absent when I was a kid. I feel like it left some nasty scars that I’m not willing to repeat on mine.'

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