If Kendall Jenner can’t slice a cucumber and no one is around to see it, does she still feel a sense of acute embarrassment?
The supermodel went viral after a recent episode of The Kardashians, in which she attempted to make herself a snack while chatting to momager Kris Jenner.
In one scene, the 26-year-old grabbed a cucumber and struggled as she attempted to cut it into slices, with social media going truly bananas over the footage.
Holding the knife awkwardly at its hilt, arms akimbo, seemingly possessed by all the unhinged zeal of Ralph Fiennes’s Lord Voldemort as he flicks his wand at Harry Potter, poor Kendall has about as much luck, hewing jagged slices of cucumber all over the countertop.
Personally, I found it endearingly millennial. Who among us has not struggled to master the blade? But the backlash from armchair food critics has been unrelenting.
‘Seeing Kendall’s kitchen and knowing she can’t even cut a cucumber… I’m sick,’ a viewer said.
‘Kendall not knowing how to cut a cucumber is lowkey a flex it’s just screams I’m THIS rich what’s your poor ass gonna do,’ a follower laughed.
It has all become a bit too much for poor Kendall. During an appearance on the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast, her sister Khloe Kardashian got on the topic of the viral video.
‘She’s, like, not happy about that…,’ the Good American star said, before mocking her for not being able to ‘cut a f**king cucumber’.
The mum-of-one continued: ‘I feel so… I’m like, “Kendall, God is fair. You’re the most beautiful human being in the world. You have wild looking toes, God bless. And you can’t cut a f**king cucumber.”
‘The world is good because… How can you be this f**king perfect? She has the perfect life. This perfect dog, a gazelle of a human being. She walks the runway.
‘You can’t cut a f**king cucumber? Please, come over and stay with me for one week.
‘She’ll really cry herself a river. Oh, my God. But I’m going to teach her how to cut a cucumber.’
The family is not letting up. Kylie Jenner posted a video of herself with ‘cucumber girl’ at their sister Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s lavish Italian wedding last weekend — in addition to a clip of Kendall struggling to waddle up a staircase in a skintight Dolce & Gabbana dress and cozy slippers as they made their way to the opulent ceremony at Castello Brown. Sure, she looks like a distressed Emperor Penguin. But if God had wanted us to live our lives with a quiet grace and dignity, He would never have given us the internet.