You know those annoying dickheads that ask stuff like ‘do my boobs look too perky in this?’, ‘is my boyfriend too good looking?’, ‘Is my Ferrari too loud?’, that’s what I imagine Jess and Dom to be like in real life. Those people, that pretend to be humble and down to earth while passively bragging about all their success and attempting to make you feel insecure. Those are the type of people that hunt for fame as if it’s the be and end all of life, and if Jess and Dom have demonstrated anything since their Love Island debut, it’s that they’re fame hungry.
Attempting to become the Love Island power couple last Summer - missing out to Kem and Amber, Gabby and Marcel, hell even Olivia and Chris – they were torn apart when Jess was dumped from the villa by the other Islanders. Dom proceeded to faux morn his relationship while Jess was accused of cheating with the current most hated man on reality TV, Muggy Mike. After the tryst, that has been denied by Jess but basically confirmed by Mike, the couple were reunited when Dom was dumped from the villa 11 days after Jess. Cue: entering the real world, sans prize money and unable to put ‘winner of Love Island 2017’ in their Insta bios, they started on their mission of D-list royalty with a series of PR stunts and press events.
First was the revelation that they were moving in together less than 3 weeks after meeting on the show and approx. 2.5 seconds after being reunited outside the villa. Then came the ‘we’re going to get married and have 1902423 babies’ claims that left everybody worrying for the future of humankind. Everyone really wised up to their boundless fame game when they were booked to attend the opening of a Kebab shop in Leicester, causing endless taunting online with users claiming they’d ‘go to the opening of an envelope’.
Honestly, I may be being unfairly harsh on them since literally every couple on Love Island obviously wants fame, but it’s this blatant, unrelenting obsession with it that the others at least have the decency to hide. They don’t pretend to be perfect or play the power couple card, they at least have standards of PR events and seem to genuinely be invested in their relationships.
It boiled over for me at a press event for In the Style last week when the couple stormed out right as the fashion show began, notably for rival Olivia Attwood’s line, in an obvious attempt to cause a stir knowing that numerous celebrity magazines were there. The silver lining? Literally no one gave a shit. Not one whiff of it in the press the next day. Maybe there is hope for humanity yet.
Of course, in realizing that people generally don’t really care about the ins and outs of their love life, they’ve topped themselves this morning with a new publicity stunt. They got married. On live TV. In swimwear.
In literally the most cringe thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life, the couple became the first to get married from Love Island, with vows as touching as ‘I promise not to pie you off even if Muggy Mike comes along’. Who doesn’t love a good reference to former cheating in your vows?
The worst part is where they try and pretend this wasn’t all pre-planned, for a couple so used to living for Instagram – the platform for presenting your best, basically fake life - their acting is terrible.
Honestly, I’ve never resented giving attention to anyone more, but this really just needed to be addressed. Now that it’s said and done, and we’re all in agreement never to give them the press they so desperately want, we can forget them forever and hopefully never speak of them again. Please, don’t make me do this again, no one needs these negative vibes in the universe.
Check out what's going on with all the Love Island couples these days...
Love Island couples - where are they now?
1 of 20Kem Cetinay and Amber Davies (2017 Winners)
Kem and Amber stayed together for four months after they were crowned winners of the show, with Amber even moving in to Kem's family home in Essex. The pair, however, recently split for good following a string of rows and bust-ups, and a clashing of 'hectic work schedules'. They released a statement saying: "we still have a lot of love for each other and will remain good friends." Emosh... looks like Kem wasn't Amber's type on paper after all.
2 of 20Jamie Jewitt and Camilla Thurlow
Jamie and Camilla still remain a couple, and Jamie's even taken trips up to Scotland to meet the fam! The pair have also done a lot of charity work together... cute.
3 of 20Chris Hughes and Olivia Attwood
Chris and Olivia (AKA Barbie and Ken) have been pretty on and off since leaving the villa, with both of them facing cheating rumours. But despite the dramas the couple are still together, and Olivia has even met Chris' beloved cows. P.S you'll be happy to know Cash Hughes is still safe and sound...
4 of 20Marcel Somerville and Gabby Allen
'Power couple' of the series Marcel and Gabby are still as strong as ever. Gabby has recently launched her own fitness app as her latest project, while Marcel is probably somewhere telling someone he used to be a member of Blazin' Squad.
5 of 20Alex Beattie and Montana Brown
Alex and Montana called it a day less than a month after leaving the villa - a mutual decision between the two. They claimed it was 'hard' making it work in the outside world.The pair have since gone their separate ways, with Montana launching her own clothing line, and Alex bagging himself a new girlfriend.
6 of 20Dom Lever and Jessica Sheers
Brace yourselves... Not only did Dom and Jess buy a house together, but they also got ENGAGED just 3 months after leaving the Love Island villa... woahh.
7 of 20Sam Gowland and Georgia Harrison
Sam and Georgia split just a month after the show, despite flying off to Marbella for a holiday together. In a very cryptic tweet, Georgia wrote: 'would like to confirm that myself and Sam are no longer together. Unfortunately for some men one girl isn't always enough'. Awks. Sam is now coupled up with Geordie Shore co-star Chloe Ferry after landing himself a spot on the reality series.
8 of 20Jonny Mitchell and Tyla Carr
Even though Jonny vowed to wait for Tyla when he was dumped from the villa, he instead wasted no time at all and cosied up to fellow islander Chyna Ellis, taking her on a string of romantic dates... including a trip to Budapest. Jonny also dated MIC star Stephanie Pratt but is now single and currently a contestant on Celebrity Big Brother, trying to get rid of his 'love-rat' label.
9 of 20Nathan Massey and Cara De La Hoyde (2016 Winners)
After staying together for nearly a year after the show, the couple decided to call it quits. However, after seven months apart they rekindled their relationship and have just had their first baby together - congrats!
10 of 20Alex Bowen and Olivia Buckland
Alex and Olivia have remained a couple since the minute they left the Love Island villa. The loved-up pair are ENGAGED after Alex popped the question in New York City... the ultimate couple goals.
11 of 20Scott Thomas and Kady McDermott
Kady moved in with Scott straight after leaving the Love Island villa, but the pair called it quits on their on-off relationship at the end of last year. It was rumoured that they weren't getting on at all following 'fiery' rows and have now gone their separate ways...
12 of 20Adam Maxted and Katie Salmon
Although they coupled up as friends rather than a romance, they gave things a go. But shortly after leaving the villa, Adam revealed their split on Twitter with one of his infamous metaphors: "It's like when you're eating a kebab after a night out and the first few bites taste good but then you realise that it really isn't nice at all!"... charming.Adam is now a professional wrestler and has a new girlfriend.
13 of 20Terry Walsh and Emma Woodhams
These two stayed together for eight months after the show before splitting up. Emma rekindled with her childhood love five months after the split and is now pregnant with her first child!
14 of 20Tow Powell and Sophie Bradon
Tom and Sophie tried to make things work after leaving the show, but eventually split after rumours came out that BOTH of them had cheated...Tom has recently been hooking up with Love Island co-star Malin Anderson... (who was also Sophie's friend on the show... awks) while Sophie Gradon got married to Alex Lenco last July.
15 of 20Rykard Jenkins and Rachel Fenton
After being inseparable for nearly 18 months after leaving the villa, Rykard and Rachel split up just a month ago after rumours speculated that Rykard was unfaithful... eye roll
16 of 20Max Morley and Jess Hayes - (2015 Winners)
After Max and Jess won the first series of Love Island, they split just 40 days after the show finished... take it things didn't work out.Both Max and Jess separately appeared on reality series Ex on the Beach. Jess is currently a contestant on Celebrity Big Brother while Max is in a new relationship.
17 of 20Jon Clarke and Hannah Elizabeth
After Jon PROPOSED to Hannah during Love Island, the couple never lasted after the show. Jon has been in relationships since and is now a member of the TOWIE cast.
18 of 20Joshua Ritchie and Lauren Richardson
These two remained friends after the show. Josh has since been on reality series Ex on the Beach and has also been romantically linked to ex Geordie Shore star Charlotte Crosby.
19 of 20Luis Morrison and Cally Jane Beech
Luis and Cally stayed together after Love Island and had their first child together!
20 of 20Jordan Ring and Zoe Basia Brown
Jordan (AKA Hulk) and Zoe continued their romance after the show but it didn't last very long...
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.