I’m A Celebrity: Forcing A Woman To Do What You Want Is Not Chivalry

We’re one week into I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! and last night proved that tensions are rapidly rising in the camp. Most notably, when James Haskell got frustrated because Kate Garraway wouldn’t accept his attempts at ‘chivalry’.

The incident occurred when the group were told they were participating in a live challenge to win roast dinners for each person. But there was a twist, the roast dinners would be issued in order of names on a list – with campmates deciding who would go in what order.

When Garraway attempted to put Haskell on top since he has been leading the camp, a number of the men contested her, saying that the women should go first. Putting four of the women in the top four spots, Garraway again attempted to put Haskell before her own name but she was shouted down by both Haskell and Ian Wright for being ‘too nice’.

‘Can we just agree moving forward on these things, I’m more comfortable and I think every man here is, that women go first. So can we cut out that nonsense?’ Haskell said to Garraway. As she began to argue, he continued to shout over her: ‘Don’t fight it, we want to do it, you fight every time, just go with it, all of us want to do it.’

‘That is chivalrous nonsense,’ Garraway replied. ‘Maybe I feel that you should go first, I’m allowed to have a view as well.’

Naturally, Haskell got his way – because there’s nothing more chivalrous than forcing women to do what you want, right? And while he was satisfied in his honourability as a man, many viewers took to Twitter to contest that he was being anything but noble.

‘I appreciate chivalry like James is trying to show, but I can’t STAND the fact that he was so aggressively insistent that he wouldn’t even let Kate speak,’ one user tweeted. ‘Offer a chivalrous act but be prepared to be turned down and all will be happy. Equality and understanding. #ImACeleb’

‘Angry, aggressive chivalry really isn’t chivalry is it? #ImACeleb,’ another added.

Now, let’s get one thing straight. There is absolute value in men putting women first. Not because men are stronger or better, but because the immense privilege they experience in life means women should get a helping hand where possible. However, there is also value in respecting women when they don’t want your help.

Forcing help on a woman, especially aggressively, is not chivalry – it’s disrespecting her autonomy for your own validation. Haskell was clearly putting his own need to be seen as noble above Garraway’s personal wishes. So much so, he was even told to let it go by other campmates when he continued to hammer his point home.

Garraway might have been sacrificing her own happiness in an attempt to be polite – but that was her decision. To take that away from her and put your opinion about respecting women above hers – you know, the women your attempting to show respect to – is not chivalry at all. In fact, it’s actually pretty sexist.

Clearly, there’s a fine line between chivalry and misogyny – and shouting at a woman to force your own agenda, that’s definitely crossing it.

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