In recent years, Elon Musk has taken a swift right-turn into Conservative politics – waging campaigns against transgender people while bro-ing with now President Donald Trump. But his latest move (performing what has been dubbed a ‘Nazi salute' onstage) has left him facing heat. While Elon seems to show no remorse for his actions, the women in his life certainly do.
On Monday, the day marking Donald Trump’s inauguration, the Tesla CEO took to the stage in Washington, DC. A close pal of Trump and now a member of his office, Elon, 53, said, ‘Thank you for making it happen,’ before slapping his right hand onto his chest and extending it into a salute. As if once wasn’t enough, the billionaire did it again – saying, ‘My heart goes out to you.’
The world's wealthiest man quickly received an onslaught of criticism for the action’s similarities to a ‘Nazi-salute’ – a move the Anti-Defamation League call ‘the most common white supremacist hand sign in the world.’
But while Elon refused to apologise for his gesture, doubling down and insisting his critics needed ‘better dirty tricks’ to discredit him, the women in his life did.
Following Elon’s speech, his former partner Grimes found herself in the firing line. The Canadian singer-songwriter was in an on-off relationship with the businessman from 2018 to 2023, sharing three children together – Æ A-Xii, four, Exa Dark Sidreræl, three, and Techo Mechanicus, two.
Since splitting from Elon, Grimes has insisted he is now ‘unrecognisable’ from the man she used to know. Yet his actions still reflect onto her.
Grimes then posted a lengthy reply, insisting the criticism she was receiving for Elon's speech was ‘absurd.’
‘While I deeply respect your concern, it is unhealthy that people are this upset when I have not even been online yet today and am only just learning about this controversy now,’ she wrote.
‘It’s absurd that someone can be this cancelled for something their ex did before they even heard it happened. I am not him. I will not make a statement every time he does something. I can only send love back into a world that is hurting.’
Insisting her silence wasn’t acceptance, she added, ‘I could go and talk shit and be on a bunch of magazine covers and be a feminist hero and get clout – but it would serve no purpose. I choose my children’s wellbeing. I promise you it doesn’t feel good to be hated all the time for things I don’t even know about, cannot predict and cannot control. But I also chose this path, I accept it. I make the best of it all, and I simply wish happiness and health to all.’
Grimes then expanded, ‘I’m happy to denounce Nazi-ism – and the far alt right. Would that help clear things up? I’ve just gotten out of breakfast and have to catch a flight, and am still debating how to approach things diplomatically because I feel in over my head. But if there’s concern about that, I am happy to set the record straight in a meaningful way.’
Grimes isn’t the only woman to be judged on their connection to the business tycoon. Also responding to accusations of her estranged father’s ‘Nazi salute’ was Elon’s daughter, Vivian Wilson.
While she didn’t name her father, the 21-year-old did heavily hint that she was responding to the controversial incident. Taking to Instagram’s Threads, she wrote, ‘I’m just gonna say let’s call a spade a f*cking spade. Especially if there were two spades done in succession based on the reaction of the first spade.’
Vivian – who is transgender - was born to Elon’s first wife, Justine Musk, and famously severed ties with her billionaire father when she turned 18. It wasn’t a surprising move for the transgender teen, given the string of attacks launched by her father on her very existence. Elon had publicly claimed she was ‘not a girl,’ and that Vivian had been ‘dead, killed by the woke virus.’
Grimes and Vivian are far from the first women to find themselves answering for the disappointing actions of men.
Since appearing as Rose in Doctor Who, Billie Piper has become somewhat of an icon within British media. However, her career wins are often sidetracked with questions of her former marriage to actor-turned-disgraced TV pundit Laurence Fox– who she shares two children with. A self-styled ‘woke campaigner,’ Laurence has been accused of several racist, homophobic, and misogynistic comments. Last year, he lost a High Libel case after being found guilty of defaming former Stonewall trustee and drag queen Crystal by calling them ‘peadophiles.’
Opening up about the constant association following their 2016 split, Billie said, ‘I’ve had to make some choices and a divorce speaks for itself. Or at least it should.’
When Harvey Weinstein’s history of sexual harassment and abuse was exposed during #MeToo, his wife Georgina Chapman also faced a barrage of hate. The fashion designer announced she was leaving her husband soon after the news broke, saying ‘My heart breaks for all of the women who have suffered tremendous pain because of these unforgivable actions.’ She would later say, ‘There was a part of me that was terribly naïve – clearly, so naïve. I have moments of rage. I have moments of confusion. I have moments of disbelief. And I have moments where I just cry for my children.’
Grimes, Billie, Georgina: all have suffered the lifelong prophecy of women being expected to take responsibility for the actions of others. In all of these cases, powerful men did unacceptable things. And yet, it’s the women who are expected to answer for them.
Of course, Grimes isn't responsible for Elon’s actions. No woman is. But in this day and age, ‘guilty by association’ is a phrase not easy to escape. For every show of support is someone who whispers, ‘But surely she must have known?’
Taking to the comment section, one critic wrote of Grimes, ‘You knew who he was. Nobody tricked you.’
‘You picked this guy and you had kids with this guy. Own that that is who you chose, and that you’re okay with being with someone who stomps all over every one of your “values.” Who you choose to associate with says something about you. You don’t just get to opt out of that reality when it gets uncomfortable.’
Of course, Grimes should not have to answer to Elon’s actions. To suggest so reeks of the sexism women face everyday. A woman is not responsible for the decisions the men around her make – but 'guilty by association' has become a hard label to shake.