Mum shaming is real, and the sad truth is you're particularly susceptible if you're a woman in the limelight. Frankie Bridge has hit back at mum-shamers who unfairly trolled the singer for deciding to take four days away. Yep, that's right – while dads get free passes to stag dos and boys nights out, mums get told off for taking the odd few days away from their children.
Frankie shares two sons, Parker and Carter, with Wayne. She posted a statement on Instagram calling out online comments that alleged she was 'the worst wife and mother' for going on holiday with her friend and fellow singer Fleur East, following health struggles.
Bridge wrote: 'I’ve learned to be pretty thick skinned during my years in the public eye and I deal with these comments every day. But these comments aren’t just directed at someone in my position. A lot of women have a similar experience in many different ways,' continuing: 'As I was growing up, I feel I was very naive to the double standards set upon women, and never really felt they applied to me. I think that because I hadn’t experienced any sort of sexual harassment in the workplace, I felt I’d come out unscathed. When really all I needed to do was recognise the very obvious differences in expectations of a boy band and a girl band. The double standards were right there staring me in the face.'
Bridge also detailed that both Wayne and her mother encouraged her to go on holiday following her 'suffering with various illnesses that became harder to ignore'. She explained that 'they took their toll and my mental health plummeted', adding, 'I and everyone else around me could see I needed a break and I reluctantly took the holiday, squeezed in at a time that would cause minimal damage to the boys’ schedule and mine,' she said. 'This meant fitting in as much as possible before I went away, still be contactable and hitting the ground running when I returned.'
As many mothers will relate to, Frankie said she felt at guilty at first for leaving her family, but finally realised she deserved the break – something she explained was spurred on by admitting Wayne was perfectly capable of solo parenting their children.
However, she acknowledged that 'the online warriors' thought differently. Frankie was inundated with messages such as 'who's looking after the kids?' and 'how does Wayne feel about you going away without him?' She responded: 'I spoke to Wayne about it whilst I was away and asked him if anyone had said anything like this to him when he goes on holiday without me or the kids. And the simple answer was...no. He actually said, when he went to Ibiza and snowboarding, not one person made a negative comment or asked him how the kids and I felt about his holiday.'
Bridge also said the online commenters think that her family set up is 'strange' because Wayne – who retired from football in 2014 – does 'most of the childcare' while she works. 'I equally enjoy that when Wayne foes all the parental jobs that I do too, that he is seen as some sort of hero,' she wrote. 'Or that when we met, I was seen as a gold digger, yet I had been working since the age of twelve. To be honest, none of this bothered me until I had kids,' she wrote.
Frankie also called out the double standards that exist around women’s weight, appearance and lifestyle and career choices. 'Whilst writing these down, I realised how many of the expectations are contradictions within themselves,' she wrote. 'No wonder so many people are outraged with whatever we do. No one knows what they’re supposed to be angry at next! I can handle being told that I’m too fat or too thin. I’m too loud or too quiet. I can even deal with people questioning how I should be coping with my depression, but my parenting? Not so much!'
Bridge has recently spoken openly about finding a 'benign' tumour on her neck. 'I didn’t really take anything in so I can imagine when it is a horrible outcome – I can’t even imagine what that feels like,' she told Loose Women.
Hurrah to you Frankie for speaking out. Now, please can we stop this horrendous mum shaming?
Alice Hall is the Staff Writer at Grazia UK. She was previously a Junior Features Writer for The Daily Telegraph. At Grazia, she writes news and features about pop culture, dating, health, politics and interiors.