Ariana Grande has opened up in her most candid interview yet - discussing how she felt following her ex-boyfriend Mac Miller’s death. Speaking to Vogue, the cover star said the late rapper, who was open about his problems with substance abuse, ‘didn’t deserve his demons’ and that she could barely remember the months following his death as she was ‘so drunk’.
Grande called her grief over Miller's passing - from an accidental overdose last year - as ‘pretty all-consuming. By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, fuck. He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had. I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming...less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away.’
'But if I'm completely honest, I don't remember those months of my life because I was (a) so drunk and (b) so sad,’ she said, speaking about the time after his passing on September 7. ‘I don't really remember how it started or how it finished, or how all of a sudden there were 10 songs on the board.’
The star also mentioned her engagement to SNL comedian Pete Davidson, which ended shortly after Mac’s death, saying, 'It was frivolous and fun and insane and highly unrealistic, and I loved him, and I didn't know him. I'm like an infant when it comes to real life and this old soul, been-around-the-block-a-million-times artist. I still don't trust myself with the life stuff.’
The musician also candidly discussed the Manchester terror attack, where 22 people died at one of her concerts in May 2017. The 26-year-old said, ‘It's not my trauma. It's those families. It's their losses, and so it's hard to just let it all out without thinking about them reading this and reopening the memory for them.’
Despite the fact she organised the huge benefit concert One Love Manchester, Ari says she felt she did ‘nothing’. ‘I'm proud that we were able to raise a lot of money with the intention of giving people a feeling of love or unity,' she said. 'But at the end of the day, it didn't bring anyone back. Everyone was like, Wow, look at this amazing thing, and I was like, 'What the fuck are you guys talking about?' We did the best we could, but on a totally real level we did nothing. I'm sorry.'