Please Stop Offering Me Unsolicited Advice About My Acne

‘If you just go to the Himalayan mountains, mine some fresh salt and crush it into organic lemon juice with the seeds of a jellyfish tree, your acne will disappear, honestly!’

This might as well have been what everyone who has ever given me unsolicited advice about my acne said to me, because more often than not – their suggestion has been pointless. And given the reaction to Adwoa Aboah opening up about her acne yesterday, this was likely exactly how she felt too.

‘In honor of our monthly theme of ‘Skin and Body’, I will be posting from a personal project that I have been creating for the last 2/3 years,’ the model posted alongside pictures of her face close-up, ‘Only ever meant for my eyes in order to obsessively scrutinize over my up and down battle with my skin.

‘Some days it was acne, some days it wasn’t too bad, then mass breakouts followed by clear as day skin,’ she continued, ‘It was exhausting never knowing what your skin was going to look like from one day to another.

Sharing her heartfelt caption, she explained how in an industry that is built on aesthetics, her skin has constantly been scrutinized. ‘It was even more exhausting caring so much, about what work thought or if people noticed,’ she admitted, ‘constantly apologizing whilst sat in front of a mirror for something that was out of my control, obsessing over my skin to a point that was very unhealthy at the best of times.’

Of course, a model would have a very specific experience of dealing with acne. Most of us who have it - which FYI is a massive eight in 10 adults between the ages of 11 and 30 – don’t have to worry that our livelihoods will be threatened by a bad breakout. But one thing all acne sufferers have in common is the torrent of unsolicited advice Adwoa received.

The comments are full of suggestions of how she should wash her face, how to flush out her liver to ‘balance the body’ and products or treatments that are ‘guaranteed’ to work. Some of them may have been great suggestions, but mostly they were patronising, presumptuous and reductive.

Acne is absolutely different for everyone. Just because one product works for you, doesn’t mean it will for another. And, reality check, if a random soap or one-off facial has cleaned up your skin, you probably never had acne in the first place. For those of us that do actually suffer with it, trust me, we have already tried every option available to us – probably three times over.

As someone who fell for absolutely every marketing campaign as a teen, who spent hundreds on 7-step skincare routines that promised to ‘cure’ my acne and believed in all of the suggestions that came my way – I can tell you, the only person giving you advice about your skin should be your dermatologist.

And even they don’t always have the answers. Because it’s not as simple as a miracle cure product or one-off solution. Reducing the appearance of acne takes years of trial and error, close medical examination of your spots and (often) endless testing of different treatments before you are likely to see any progress. Yes, certain face washes may calm down inflammation, certain foundations may not kick off a huge breakout, but ultimately that’s only something the person suffering with acne can figure out in time.

I’ve had my acne take over my entire face, almost entirely clear up and everything in between – all based on the different prescriptions, skincare and makeup (or lack thereof) I was using, but one thing I would never do is tell another acne sufferer that the products I like are going to cure their acne. Not only is it wildly irresponsible, especially if the acne cases as much emotional turmoil as it clearly did for Adwoa, it’s just plain patronising.

So if you really want to support someone sharing their experience with acne, don't offer them advice unless they ask.

You don’t need to offer a solution, you don’t need to lie and tell them they don’t have acne (we have eyes too), you just need to listen and understand how you can alter your own behaviour to not offend someone in future.

Curing acne is complicated, but treating people who have acne with respect is simple.

If you want to find out more about acne, speak to your GP or visit the British Skin Foundation.

Read More: Sensitive products for acne-prone skin...