My daughter Jess and I often take selfies together. We love a selfie. Last year during lockdown we were lying together on the couch. Jess had just finished her home-schooling for the day and we were playing around on my Instagram account. Jess loves funny filters and we were swiping across to see what animal we could turn her face into, or whether we could find some bright butterflies to flutter around her cheeks. Before I realised what was happening we'd swiped through to a filter that altered every part of Jess' beautiful little face. Her eyes became bigger, the innocence there was replaced with an artificial twinkle, her gorgeous button nose was slimmed down and her childlike lips plumped up, her skin was smoothed and tanned. Jess smiled and said 'wow mummy I look beautiful!'
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I was stumped, horrified and devastated. My beautiful little girl had already got the memo. This artificially smoothed and honed version of herself was what this year's 'beautiful' looked like. A million questions sounded in my head. What did Jess think about the way she looked before seeing herself through a filter? Did she even think about the way she looked at all before this moment? Would her mental snapshot of that unrealistic version of herself pave the way for a rocky relationship with her image? Jess is so young. I still have a huge amount of control over what she gets up to and felt I had messed up hugely by opening a door to the world of face-altering filters, if only for a moment. Then came the realisation that one day I won't have control over her use of social media, and that the overarching problem was far bigger than Jess.
Seeing yourself tweaked in ways you can't even pinpoint is now an everyday occurrence for many
The filter phenomenon crept up on me. Flattering filters slowly drip-fed through to my stories and like everyone else I used them without question. Why wouldn't I? Seeing yourself tweaked in ways you can't even pinpoint is now an everyday occurrence for many. The damage has been done and few people have batted an eyelid. I didn't bat an eyelid, until the damaging effect that filters could have on my daughter became so plain to me. I knew I had to do something.
#FilterFreeFriday: The Beginnings
A few weeks later I started the hashtag #FilterFreeFriday on Instagram. I wanted to encourage my followers to post a selfie without a filter. I wanted to offer up just one day a week where we collectively embrace our true selves together, standing united. I was overwhelmed by the response it received and each week I still feel hugely proud of every single person that posts. It's sad to think that simply posting a picture of yourself without a filter requires bravery but this is a sign of the times, one I truly believe is reversible. One of my followers posted and told me she'd never had so many compliments on an Instagram picture before - imagine what that did for her.
I am not demanding that people immediately showcase a love for every part of themselves. Self-love is a journey. I could give you a whole list of things I am trying to love about myself. Seeing things through the lens of a make-up artist means I appreciate that everything is about balance. I am not suggesting that you should feel any pressure to flaunt your insecurities for the world to see. Make-up is a wonderful tool and helps you to enhance what you've got or to amp up your personal style. I'm not saying anyone has to forgo filters altogether either. It's all about being mindful of what they're doing to your self-esteem. It's about finding a healthy and realistic balance and finding the confidence to show yourself.
The more we filter ourselves, the less we give our self-esteem a chance to grow
Jess has told me a few times that she doesn't think she is pretty. It breaks my heart. I tell her she is beautiful daily, following every statement with a compliment about her personality and capabilities. Life is not about looks. I believe that's an important message to instil in our children. I encourage Jess to tell me the things she likes about herself. I think, I hope, the message is getting through. Now, if ever she asks me what day it is and I reply Friday she immediately responds, 'You mean filter free Friday!'
The more we filter ourselves, the less we give our self-esteem a chance to grow. I look forward to the day that #FilterFreeFriday becomes #FilterFreeForever and I truly believe we will get there, if not for us, for the next generation.
Let's Hear It For All The Celebrities Getting Real About Beauty Standards
Celebrities Getting Real About Beauty 2021
1 of 7Hailey Bieber
In December 2020 Hailey Bieber took to her Instagram stories to explain her struggle with perioral dermatitis, which is a minor skin condition that involves areas of inflammation and breakouts.
2 of 7Eva Longoria
Remember when Eva Longoria showcased her roots on Instagram this year? Eva pointed to a neat regrowth of greys along her parting and normalised that everyday hair concern in the process. Eva used the video to demonstrate the effectiveness of L'Oreal's Magic Retouch root spray, and it struck a chord with a nation collectively deprived of their hairdressers in lockdown.
3 of 7Matilda de Angelis
Matilda de Angelis shot to fame in this year's hit TV series The Undoing, but she really won our hearts when she posted a selfie and drew attention to her acne. In the picture's caption she wrote 'There are much bigger problems in life, I am aware of that, but I wanted to share this little truth perhaps to feel stronger, perhaps to accept myself better. Our fears can paralyze us or they can become a great force, it is up to us to choose the path.'
4 of 7Lili Reinhart
Riverdale star Lili Reinhart took to her Instagram stories to share an evening spent tackling cystic acne, and we love her for it.
5 of 7Cardi B
Cardi B took to Instagram in February 2021 to showcase her makeup free face, blemishes and all, and we're here for it.
6 of 7Maura Higgins
Maura Higgins took to Instagram in February 2021 with the caption 'RAW ... like many of us, there are so many times I stop to read the nasty comments in my DM's or online & every single time I can't help but think of the younger generation stepping on the social media bandwagon! Us women especially get criticised day in and day out about our body's, hair, makeup, skin...I could go on forever. I am very lucky to be confident inside & out and I want to empower woman to do the same. We don't need to use filters or apps, being yourself is more than enough although a minority of the online community sometimes try and convince us otherwise. Everyone preaches to be kind to others when really we need to also preach how important it is to be kind to ourselves; be comfortable and proud in your own skin.'
7 of 7Molly-Mae Hague
When Molly-Mae Hague took to her Instagram stories to talk about getting her composite bonds removed from her teeth she touched on the wider journey she'd been on too: 'I want to finish by saying that I think I've taken all the steps I want to take now to reverse all the mistakes I made with fillers, getting things done that I didn't necessarily need to get done, that I didn't really think through at the time.'. Molly-Mae captioned that post with the sentence 'Please don't make the same mistakes I did' before continuing, 'I got the composite bonds put on two days before I went on Love Island and I don't regret it but it wasn't a necessary thing to do. I was just young. I think when you get older you want to look younger and when you're younger you want to look older. If you're a slightly younger follower of mine just take my advice and wait. Wait a good few years until your face matures, wait to get older to make decisions about cosmetic work.' While we're of the opinion that nobody should feel under pressure to detail their procedures or procedure reversals publicly Molly-Mae's decision to do so is admirable.
READ MORE: Lisa Eldridge's New BBC Two Documentary Lifts The Lid On The History Of Make-up