‘I’ve Felt Super-Low About Myself And Really Insecure’ – Khloe Kardashian On Life As She Turns 40

We’ve all played the game, haven’t we? The one where you ask yourself which Kardashian you would be. Since the first airing of Keeping Up With The Kardashians in 2007 my answer has never wavered: Khloé. Across the 17 years that America’s adopted first family have dominated reality TV, her on-screen persona has remained consistently entertaining: fun, funny, endearing, unapologetic, necessarily dramatic, vulnerable and determined. While I can’t claim all those same adjectives, I would like to think as a fellow middle child I have an essence of Khloé about me. So, when we were introduced via Zoom earlier this spring to discuss her partnership with beauty brand Tatti Lashes – the UK’s number one lash brand – I was keen to decipher whether we were the twin flames I had hoped us to be.

After admitting that there was a period of my life where I would refuse to go on a night out without strip lashes, Khloé confirmed the twin flame was intact. ‘You’re my kind of girl Billie.’ *Adds to bio* ‘For me, there is nothing that completes your make-up look like the perfect pair of lashes. I’m a glam girl, I love to play with make-up, and this is one of the ways I do that. The thing with lashes is that they are not permanent and not that serious, you can adapt your look to your mood – it’s all about having fun.’

The omnipresence of the Kardashian/ Jenner sisters in the beauty sphere (and beyond) is undeniable and their power to influence is incomparable. Culture has shifted because of them, trends are born out of their every move, the beauty barometer of what’s hot and what’s not is measured by their taste. Love them or loathe them, the power this family has wielded is indisputably impressive.

Imposed beauty standards and social media go hand in hand and Khloé has certainly endured her share of scrutiny. In April 2021, after an unedited bikini picture circulated the internet, she shared a live video of her body on Instagram with a slide that read, ‘In truth, the pressure, constant ridicule and judgement my entire life to be perfect and to meet other’s standards of how I should look has been too much to bear.’ The post, which included examples of criticism she has received, has had more than 5 million likes. It serves as a reminder that even those who seemingly are in control of the metrics that we measure ourselves by are judged under the same lens.

Now, as Khloé enters a new decade, I ask her if she feels differently about those pressures? ‘Well, my first message is that when you don’t feel beautiful, you’re not alone in that feeling. Everybody has their own insecurities and doubts about themselves. You have to learn to drown out the noise. I have been there – I’ve felt super-low about myself and really insecure.’

How does Khloé deal with the noise? ‘My zodiac sign is Cancer and I am like a hermit crab; when I am feeling low I know I need to isolate myself for a little bit.’ She’s also a fan of a pep talk. ‘Sometimes, you have to be your own cheerleader and be like, “Khloé, get the fuck out of your own head, you’re great.” You can’t rely on other people to do that all time, and that’s OK.’

Even for one of the most famous women in the world, comparison culture is inescapable. ‘All of this shit is smoke and mirrors. Everyone is perpetrating this ideal version of themselves – look how happy and cute we are, and this perfect family we have, and look how successful I am – no one is showing when they got into a fight with their husband or when they couldn’t pay their bills. We have got to stop looking at what everyone else is doing and remember how great you are doing.’

There’s a comfort to be found in the familiarity of these conversations, they are the same ones I have with my own girlfriends – all facing different circumstances, most of us reconsidering our self-worth on a daily basis. However, the thread that binds us is that none of us has got it all figured out at all times.

‘I’m going to be 40 in June and I think most people are nervous or get weird about it and I am counting down the moments until that day. I feel like I’m shedding so much of my old life, an old version of me, and I’m so excited for this new version,’ she explains. ‘I know it’s so hugely clichéd to say it, but with age and experience comes wisdom, and that wisdom brings me more peace.’

As I sign off my chat (with a digital selfie, obvs), I feel more aligned with this stranger – one whose life is so decidedly different to my own – than I thought possible. While I joked that if I were to be any Kardashian/ Jenner, she is the one who reflects me the most, maybe she’s the one that reflects all of us the most. She’s flawed, and imperfect, and just trying her best to find peace. She’s also beautiful, honest, funny, and crucially, she knows a great pair of lashes can really go a hell of a long way.

Shop: Khloe Kardashian's Lash Kit

Main Image: Tatti Lashes